To ask how 'grown up' you were aged 22?

[Soyamilkisniceintea]

I started my first job at 22 and looking back, I was really, really immature

What were you like at 22?

Married, mortgage, full time job and 2 kids and aged 22. I hope my lot will wait until they are in their 30's, and are self sufficient, before committing to someone

I'm currently 22, mum to two, full time carer to one with additional needs and one with extreme dietary requirements, been renting my own house for 3 years, financially independent so would say I'm pretty mature and have been since we realised my oldest was different

I think at 22, I was living with my parents I think, going out with on again off again boyfriend that lived around the corner, working in PR and living it up wherever there was a large cluster of Aussies or Kiwis.

I do remember having a bit of a meltdown in Central Park when I was 24 and freaking out that I hadn't "lived" - I'm pretty sure that everything before I turned 25 I could call myself immature. At 25 I went travelling around the world by myself which definitely gave me a new perspective.

But until that time, I was quite happily an immature twat, totally man hungry, dancing on tables, going clubbing until the early hours and getting the night bus home. Happy, happy days.

I was a spectacular dickhead at 22. I thought I was the shizzle.

I was incredibly insecure and looking for a man to save me. Thought I was hideous although I really wasn't (at least not compared to the me of today). I seriously wasted my twenties feeling I wasn't good enough. However I see now I had a toxic upbringing so I don't judge myself too harshly.

I'd been married for 2 years with our own, mortgage-free 3 bed end terrace, and had just graduated with a degree in education and landed my first teaching job then. That was 20 years ago and I'm still at the same school.

I was a immature 22 year old. I was living at home and had a good job but I was always out partying every weekend having fun and overspending!

I had graduated uni, was parenting my five year old and still dealing with my partner's suicide. I still acted like a typical 22 year old knob at times though, even with all the grown up shit.

3rd year at uni and working in a pub in Canterbury...carefree and best time ever

I find it so interesting that so many define being mature as having had children. I don't think that answers the question at all!

At 22 I was having a whale of a time going out with friends to clubs and bars and dancing the night away. Wouldn't have had it any other way! I don't think it was immature but rather, age-appropriate. There is plenty of time for the boring stuff in later life.

Couldn't agree more, Freddie.

For me anyway, my 20s were (with hindsight) an experiment in completely inappropriate behaviour.

Would I be the same person without having had these experiments? Quite possibly. Could I have been a good mother whilst being so completely irresponsible? Certainly not.

I was fairly independent but very immature.

I was married, and pregnant with DD1. Having kids doesn't make you mature but I think it kind of forces you to make 'sensible' decisions. Every time anyone goes on about how much fun they had in their 20s I feel a bit sorry that I wasted my own 20s with exH. I didn't do any partying or anything, more cleaning and cooking and boring shit. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking being with him tbh.

There is plenty of time for the boring stuff in later life.

It depends on your definition of boring though, doesn't it?

Waking up in the toilets of a club with no recollection of the last 4 hours after potentially being spiked isn't something I'm in a hurry to recreate.

The 3 hours we spent down the beach with DD yesterday, paddling, building sandcastles and running around is something I'd do again and again.

Boring is subjective :)

I was immature at 22, in a very naïve way and quite scared of the world, a bit of a doormat. I don't think I really grew out of that until I was about 25, and even then I still wasn't particularly independent. I think if I met the 22 year old me now I would annoy myself

There is a massive and wonderful world between partying and parenting in your early twenties.

It IS a mistake, I think, to imagine that having children young makes one 'grown up' or that the main alternative to having children is clubbing/puking.

Its good that women have more choices now.

Having children massively limits the things you can do. As well it should!!!!

The things I did as an adult pre-children would have been massively inappropriate with children. That doesn't mean they were inappropriate/immature/unimportant in and of themselves. Far from it.

At 22

I was with dh

I owned a flat ( no mortgage)

Had a car

Was looking to start my own business ( which has now been successful for years)

I did go out to cocktail bars/clubs and travel to some great places too and I don't feel I was boring

I was 22 going on 14 and in my final year at uni. Just split up from my first boyfriend, in a short-lived and unsatisfactory rebound relationship and utterly unable to organise my workload because I was so emotionally overwhelmed. I wasn't into drugs or getting blind drunk, I just spent an awful lot of time floundering and doing very little.

I'm still not naturally organised but tend to surround myself with people who will keep me in line.

Ok, but one of the most common things young women hear is either "I'd hate to be at home with a child when I could be out drinking" or "What a shame, you won't be able to travel".

People can't seem to wrap their heads around the idea that not everyone wants to drink or travel, or indeed that you can travel with kids/hire a babysitter or leave the kids with partner/family while you drink.

We do have a lot more choices now, but not everyone sees all of them as being "valid" choices. Parenting is seen as boring, drinking is seen as irresponsible, travelling is the holy grail, even though not everyone wants to/can afford to.

I was 22 only 5 years ago and I got married and started my first graduate job. Overall I'd say I was mature but I think over the last 5 years I've got better at understanding and controlling my own emotions.

I remember when I first started my graduate job I was the victim of ageist bullying by the gang of middle-aged women in my team. I tried to integrate into the team but they weren't having any of it. So I don't think it's helpful to perpetuate the idea that women in their early 20s are "immature" because it just creates a divide.

Everyone is different, I know plenty of women in their 40s I would consider a lot less mature than some sensible women I know in their early 20s.

OvariesBeforeBrovaries That is so true. I feel that the drinking and the travelling are both forms of escapism from everyday life. For me, being a parent means I actually have more fulfilment in my everyday life so I don't feel so much need to escape from it with booze and holidays. Of course I like to drink a glass of wine and go on lovely holidays, but they're just sprinkles on top of the cake rather than my reason for living!

Actually I do find small children quite boring. I loved mine beyond measure but god they were boring. Boring and wearing. And you have to worry about a lot of stuff - from nappies to PE kits to homework - which are really quite boring too.

I wasn't at all grown up at 22. Not at all! I did a lot of travelling that year but I'm not sure it taught me much either at the time, though I have drawn on the experiences, one of which most definitely changed the course of my life!