...to hate chokers on young girls

[Bringmesunshite]

I admit I'm an old pearl clutcher. I restrain these instincts and let my dd (10) wear make up now and then, I let her wear her hair in a Chelsea bun with a feckin' JoJo bow. I let her wear crop tops and gladiators.
But AIBU to draw the line at a choker. I think they look like dog collars - the kind animals or submissives wear. She has argued for a lattice type one which is slightly less horrible in my opinion but I am still very reluctant.
I am all for her finding her way and/or fitting in with her peers but I bloody hate chokers.

A slight warning: the more you say no, the further she will take it. My parents were restrictive and conservative when I was young, and it resulted in mutlicoloured hair, many piercings including belly button and constantly on show, ACTUAL dog collars from pet shops, safety pins through my pierced ears bizarre make up and then, by the time I was 18, tattoos.

Although at the time I thought I was just asserting my individuality (though ironically I looked exactly like everyone else I hung out with), when I look back I note that my school friends with more permissive parents were much less bothered by fads and trends and just found their own way. I think saying no to something has harmless as jewellery (I understand you have your reasons, but that's how it feels to the child) can have unintended consequences.

£10 for a bloody hair ribbon .

Depends on the choker.

Yabu - its just a fad. To those saying 10 year olds don't "need" makeup - at what age do females start "needing" it? As a society, we are very guilty of labelling young women as slutty and denigrating what they wear despite young women being subjected to an infinite number of messages and images daily which tell them how to behave. How many women saying " don't wear make up, don't follow fashion" etc do so themselves? My DD has watched me putting on make up since she was a toddler, sees me getting dressed up in heels, jewellery and make up for a night out - so why would I be shocked when she wants to do the same? And crop tops - why do we scorn those that wear them - is it because they attract the male gaze? Why should a child be blamed if a guy is lusting after a minor? Its this type of policing of women's bodies that we see in Sharia law.

Make up on a 10 year old

Salt makes some good points in my view.