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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this woman was very entitled and rude to ds - miniature train related

87 replies

theduchessstill · 29/04/2017 16:13

Have just got back from our local NT place and want to know if we were unreasonable in this situation.

It was me and my two sons. We queued for a good twenty minutes to ride on a miniature train that does a tour of the grounds. The carriages seat two so we were never going to all get in together but wanted consecutive ones so we could still talk.

We ended up being first on when our time came, so ds2 and I got in together and ds1 (10) in the next carriage. After a few minutes a woman with a baby in a sling and a toddler came along and spoke to ds1. I was talking to ds2 at the time, but the next thing I knew ds1 had got out of his carriage and was just standing on the platform and the woman had got in. I asked ds1 quite sharply what he was doing and he looked awkward. Then the woman said, "I need to be in this one as it's the last one for two and my toddler needs to be in with me." She indicated that there was space for one person in another carriage at the other end of the train, where ds1 would have been nowhere near us. I said it wasn't alright as we wanted to be near each other and she said "Yes, but dd MUST be with me, she's only two." Fair enough, but then wait for the next train - as we would have done had we not been able to sit near each other originally.

She got out and I told ds to get back in. At this point a member of staff came along and was looking to see if anyone else could move so we could all be accommodated, but the woman said it was 'ridiculous' and went off in a huff.

I got a few looks and stares, probably because she had a baby and a toddler, who started to cry, but, honestly, we had waited a good 20 minutes and there's no point going on these things unless you can be near each other to point stuff out. She would have had no more than a 10 minute wait for the next one, probably less. More to the point, I think it was rude that she ordered ds1 out of his seat and away from his family. AIBU?

OP posts:
BeeFarseer · 29/04/2017 16:15

Oh my god, YANBU. Who even does that?!

EggysMom · 29/04/2017 16:15

YANBU. I can only surmise that she thought ds1 was travelling on his own, rather than with you.

IntheBenefitTrap · 29/04/2017 16:16

You handled it a lot better than I would have. How dare she order a child to move?! Horrid woman, she should have done what other people would have and just wait for the next one! Some people are so entitled.

Cafecat · 29/04/2017 16:18

Yes very strange to turf a10 year-old out of his seat. What if the train had started without him? How rude.

Sleepdeprivedredhead · 29/04/2017 16:18

Not unreasonable at all. You often have to wait on thise rides.
We own a ride on train and would never split up children/ parents as even when they sit together children and adults can make errors such as leaning out or over which will derail a lot of carriages. Adults are far more likely to hear a request to stop doing something risky and are expected to notice the risks.

mustiwearabra · 29/04/2017 16:19

Who the hell turfs a kid out of a train ride? YANBU.

opinionatedfreak · 29/04/2017 16:21

YANBU.

She was a loon. I wonder if she didn't realise you were together but refusing to back down when it was pointed out is very odd.

ToffeeCaramel · 29/04/2017 16:21

Yanbu. If there isn't room to sit how you want you have to wait for the next one, not break up other groups.

Chloe84 · 29/04/2017 16:23

I was afraid you were going to say you didn't say anything! Well done for standing up to her.

SavoyCabbage · 29/04/2017 16:24

Yanbu, she should have just waited for the next one.

GreatFuckability · 29/04/2017 16:25

I think if your DS was ok to go and sit somewhere else, then i'd have let it go. but she should have asked you, and not him.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 29/04/2017 16:27

Who the hell orders a 10 year old off a ride?! Hope your ds is ok. Yanbu of course

(I totally clicked on this because of the title 'miniature train related')

childmaintenanceserviceinquiry · 29/04/2017 16:28

Sorry if you waited 20 minutes, why do you say she would only wait 10 mins for the next one?

Also the platform person could have (quickly) moved the family at the other end with the one spare seat next to your family (or moved you) so their one person sat next to your son. That would have then freed up somewhere on the small train the 2 person seat that this lady needed.

SavoyCabbage · 29/04/2017 16:33

Probably because the queue was longer when OP joined it so she didn't get in the next train that came but the other woman would have got on the next one.

user1491572121 · 29/04/2017 16:35

She sounds quite loopy. She must (Im being generous) have still got that slightly crazed thing you sometimes get when you've got a baby.

allowlsthinkalot · 29/04/2017 16:36

Why didn't you move and sit your two sons together?

I was going to say YABU and surprised that others have thought you were in the right. Maybe I'm wrong.

But she had a toddler, the nice thing to do would have been to offer to move and make room?

I doubt she "ordered" the ten year old to move, she probably thought he was on his own and asked him nicely to move into the single spare seat so she could get on. If I was with my 9 and 7 year olds I'd have offered to move and left the dc sitting together before she even asked tbh.

Aeroflotgirl · 29/04/2017 16:36

If she had done that to my ASD 10 year old dd, she would be witnessing a very severe meltdown, as dd has high anxiety, and does not want to be separated, so in that situation, she would need to be in the other carriage like your son. What an entitled woman.

Original poster
theduchessstill · 29/04/2017 16:36

So glad most people think IWNU - I did feel bad as I have been the person out on my own with a baby and a toddler, but it was the ordering ds off and then seemingly being unable to comprehend that we had needs as well that got me.

we waited 20 minutes (or so - may have ben longer) because we had to wait for the ride to make a couple of trips. Had she waited she would have been front of the queue, so would only have had to wait for it to make one trip.

I agree it could probably have been sorted, but she didn't give the staff member a chance to do so.

OP posts:
RaeSkywalker · 29/04/2017 16:38

YANBU. She should've waited for the next train.

SaucyJack · 29/04/2017 16:39

YANBU.

File it under "Not my fucking problem luv" and forget about her.

AndNowItIsSeven · 29/04/2017 16:40

I would have told my ten year old to move seats . At age ten they don't need stuff pointing out.

Original poster
theduchessstill · 29/04/2017 16:41

thinkalot I would have been happy to move, but not to the other end of the train from my two sons. There's no point going on a miniature train effectively on my own. Well, there might be for some, but they're not my thing in themselves. I wanted to be on it with my children. If she had asked, and maybe said she couldn't wait for the next one as her baby was about to need a feed or something, I think I would have agreed. But she seemed to have no conception that we had a need to be together just like her family.

OP posts:
Beeziekn33ze · 29/04/2017 16:42

Not sensible to tell a child she didn't know what to do. Unless in an emergency it's just not something most adults would consider.

HappyFlappy · 29/04/2017 16:44

This happened to a friend's son at the cinema. As a birthday treat (10) he and two mates went to the pictures - they were there early, friend paid for their tickets and in they went (being on their own was part of the treat).

She went for a coffee and was there to collect them when they came out to go for pizza. When they came out they were very upset because a group of three or four mothers had arrived (late - moments before the film started) with umpteen kids, and made the boys split up to different parts of the cinema so that they could all sit together. The lads were unfortunately too intimidated and politecowed to refuse and tell them to bugger off.

I hope that they were proud of themselves, the selfish bitches. It really spoiled the treat for the boys.

cherish123 · 29/04/2017 16:45

She was very rude. It was awful of her to put a ten year old in that position.

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