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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this woman was very entitled and rude to ds - miniature train related

87 replies

theduchessstill · 29/04/2017 16:13

Have just got back from our local NT place and want to know if we were unreasonable in this situation.

It was me and my two sons. We queued for a good twenty minutes to ride on a miniature train that does a tour of the grounds. The carriages seat two so we were never going to all get in together but wanted consecutive ones so we could still talk.

We ended up being first on when our time came, so ds2 and I got in together and ds1 (10) in the next carriage. After a few minutes a woman with a baby in a sling and a toddler came along and spoke to ds1. I was talking to ds2 at the time, but the next thing I knew ds1 had got out of his carriage and was just standing on the platform and the woman had got in. I asked ds1 quite sharply what he was doing and he looked awkward. Then the woman said, "I need to be in this one as it's the last one for two and my toddler needs to be in with me." She indicated that there was space for one person in another carriage at the other end of the train, where ds1 would have been nowhere near us. I said it wasn't alright as we wanted to be near each other and she said "Yes, but dd MUST be with me, she's only two." Fair enough, but then wait for the next train - as we would have done had we not been able to sit near each other originally.

She got out and I told ds to get back in. At this point a member of staff came along and was looking to see if anyone else could move so we could all be accommodated, but the woman said it was 'ridiculous' and went off in a huff.

I got a few looks and stares, probably because she had a baby and a toddler, who started to cry, but, honestly, we had waited a good 20 minutes and there's no point going on these things unless you can be near each other to point stuff out. She would have had no more than a 10 minute wait for the next one, probably less. More to the point, I think it was rude that she ordered ds1 out of his seat and away from his family. AIBU?

OP posts:

TheAntiBoop · 29/04/2017 17:15

Ha xpost the fifth key!

My ds was pushed by a mother because he dared sit next to a toddler in a kids to lounge area in a shopping centre. He's the gentlest ten year old and very good with little ones as well

HappyFlappy · 29/04/2017 17:18

"I need to be in this one as it's the last one for two and my toddler needs to be in with me."

I wonder why she didn't ask an adult sitting alone to move.

Abraiid2 · 29/04/2017 17:19

What is wrong with some mothers! My son and his friend, both tennis club members, were asked by a woman with lots of children if they'd mind leaving because they wanted both courts. They hadn't been there for that long and the woman had just arrived. They were 18 at the time. Again, too polite to kick up a fuss.

user1493453415 · 29/04/2017 17:24

Depends on whether she knew DS was sitting with you or if she assumed (wrongly) that he was riding the train alone and his parents were watching from the sidelines.

LadyPW · 29/04/2017 17:30

You just don't tell a child sitting on their own to move, you just don't. If there aren't spaces suitable for you then you wait. It makes no odds that DS1 was sat behind OP & that OP wanted them together, that's irrelevant. They were there first, that's how queues work. You can ask an adult or teenager if they wouldn't mind swapping, but you can't insist and you don't ask a younger child.
OP is definitely not unreasonable.

user1493453415 · 29/04/2017 17:35

"Can you go and sit back there so my little girl can sit with me?"

It sounds like she asked the child to move though, not told him to move. Hence why if she didn't realise he was sitting there with mum and his sibling it actually hasn't come across so badly to me.

Obviously, the fact that he was sitting with mum and sibling means she should have accepted that and not thrown the wobbler, but I see nothing wrong with asking him to move if she assumed he was on his own.

mousymary · 29/04/2017 17:37

Gosh, what a horrid woman. I'd've tied her to the train tracks.

Abraiid2 ds and his friend (teens) were playing tennis on the municipal court and a woman came along and asked ds and friend to leave because her toddler wanted to scoot round the circumference of the tennis court and she didn't want him to be hit by a ball. Ds and friend, being super awkward, meekly obliged and sloped off home.

LucilleBluth · 29/04/2017 17:37

NT places are teaming with this kind of entitled parent. Also parents of young DCs don't realise that even when your DCs are teenagers they are still very young.

RhiWrites · 29/04/2017 17:38

I'VE MET THIS WOMAN!

She did it to me at Blenheim Castle, also on a small train. There was one seat left in our carriage and my friend Jon stood up to let her in. She then blocked his seat and said "I want to sit with my husband".husvand appeared out of nowhere and Jon got left behind.

So now she has a child and is still pulling the same bullshit. What a weirdo!

HappyFlappy · 29/04/2017 17:43

Rhi

Bloody hell! That DOES take the biscuit!

theclick · 29/04/2017 17:44

Christ, how entitled was she?!

HorridHenryrule · 29/04/2017 17:54

I would never dream of separating a child from his parents what was she thinking.

HorridHenryrule · 29/04/2017 18:02

User415 assumptions can get you into trouble if your not careful.

NavyandWhite · 29/04/2017 18:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Devilishpyjamas · 29/04/2017 18:06

She was probably one of those mothers that thinks any child over the age of 5 is entirely independent.

YANBU

youarenotkiddingme · 29/04/2017 18:27

YANBU. It's the way these things go. You have to wait your turn - and your turn includes being at the front of the queue and having space for your family.

user1493453415 · 29/04/2017 18:30

HorridHenryrule

No assumptions made here.

allowlsthinkalot · 29/04/2017 18:35

But you didn't NEED to sit together. You wanted to. That's different.

And she didn't know that your ds was sitting there to be next to you.

allowlsthinkalot · 29/04/2017 18:37

Maybe because I've got four dc I'm more used to the fact that we can hardly ever sit all together even on actual trains!

PickAChew · 29/04/2017 18:42

"I'll ask my mum" is a good default answer to coach your ds to say in these situations. That way, he's not giving in, but won't feel like he's being uncharacteristically defiant.

TheAntiBoop · 29/04/2017 18:44

She didn't need to get on that particular train

And it's different if a family splits but are still with other people. Not so fun if someone ends up on their own

TheExuberant1 · 29/04/2017 19:05

I would want to sit with my son who is nearly 10 so I would have done the same thing as you. She should have waited for the next train which is what I would have done, I certainly wouldn't tell someone else's child to move for my child. She may have only asked you son but I think most children see adults as an authoritative figure so even though they are being asked, sometimes they will feel as if they are actually being told. Good on you for saying something to her!

CheeseandGherkins · 29/04/2017 19:21

allowlsthinkalot how do you know she didn't need to sit together? That woman didn't NEED to sit their, she should have waited for the next train rather than making a child feel uncomfortable. If she was so desperate she should have approached an adult instead. I say that as a mother of 6 children (baby aged and upwards), who do sit together, yes that may mean waiting...

CheeseandGherkins · 29/04/2017 19:21

*There not their

dalek · 29/04/2017 19:24

Your poor DS - well done on standing up to this woman. I absolutely hate to when adults do this to children - they win either way - either child complies or they get to say ooh look that child is so rude and has no manners.

Over entitled old boot - let's see if she likes it when someone does it to her kids.

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