Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'Free birthing' AIBU to think this woman should not be encouraging people to do this

628 replies

WilliowGreen · 28/04/2017 22:52

In this guardian article this woman boasts about her wonderful birth experience by rejecting all care including scans because "it was not empowering".
Before I had my baby (she is 2 weeks old) I would probably have thought her lack of self awareness was funny. Now it quite irrationally fills me with rage.
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/apr/28/experience-i-had-a-free-birth.

OP posts:
AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 29/04/2017 08:00

"What a fucking inspiration. I'm going to send this to some poor communities in Africa so they can be as fucking inspired as I am. If only they'd call their pain "sensation" they'd be able to stop bitching about their high infant mortality rates."

^ my favourite comment! Grin

CoteDAzur · 29/04/2017 08:01

"DC1 was a month late, which was a bit stressful"

44 weeks? Was that a human pregnancy or the fruit of an alien abduction? Grin

HomityBabbityPie · 29/04/2017 08:02

A month late?!?!

Headofthehive55 · 29/04/2017 08:06

I had one birth where I would not describe it as painful rather a sensation too. It was rather pleasent and I immediately wanted to do it again!

CountryCaterpillar · 29/04/2017 08:10

I was hanging out with some homebirthers and anti-system (now homeschool) types during my second pregnancy. I was terrified of hospital after the first birth and wanted a homebirth.

I went overdue and agreed to go in at 12 days (with friends arguing that it's not late it's up to you, all the homebirth groups saying how much safer you are with 2 midwives and can get to hospital in 20mins etc.)

I had an uncomfortable labour after being induced and on my own in the antenatal ward (well with a midwife at times) I felt horrible.
I ended up with pph of over 3 litres and then in intensive care. Only narrowly avoided a hysterectomy when they used a balloon thing inside which they admitted they didn't know if it would work when it came out but they'd be ready.

For ages afterwards I thought it had all happened because I went to hospital and it had become medicalised. Then I really shuddered to think how quickly it happened what would have happened at home.

I went for 3 counselling sessions with a midwife but it was rubbish - she spent a whole session reading my labour notes but they stopped when I'd had the baby and presumably the pph and what happened the next few days were separate to the maternity notes. I never quite heard exactly what happened but I remember waking up in intensive care with no baby.

Butteredparsnip1ps · 29/04/2017 08:12

There are some great comments there.

I'm still trying to get my brain around it's not pain, it's sensation

Some sensation.

derxa · 29/04/2017 08:14

I was hoping someone would pick up on this article. It would be hilarious if it wasn't so dangerous.

www.laceyhaynes.com/1-on-1-pregnancy-support.html
Here she is on her website.

NotYoda · 29/04/2017 08:15

Good comments under the article

NotYoda · 29/04/2017 08:16

derxa

Oh Lord. I am biting my tongue sooo hard.

tabbykitt · 29/04/2017 08:17

Oh my lord. Just read the article.

I think it was the smugness that was worst. The jargon came second. And calling a baby Fox came third (sorry, but ...) (why not Badger?)

For a medical professional such as Agatha this kind of drivel must be more than incensing, and to see it published in The Guardian, as if if has some kind of merit, or deserves to be heard. It is infuriating at best, and dangerous at worst.

I would imagine that as a result of them publishing that article, there is a very strong possibility that someone will die, mother or baby.

Trifleorbust · 29/04/2017 08:24

I would imagine that as a result of them publishing that article, there is a very strong possibility that someone will die, mother or baby.

Because women can't make their own decisions? They are led like children into a particular course of action and it's all the fault of that irresponsible editor at the Guardian? Hmm

Unescorted · 29/04/2017 08:26

country I can't imagine your pain.

CountryCaterpillar · 29/04/2017 08:28

(just want to clarify my baby was in the maternity hospital as I was in intensive care in a different hospital - the baby was fine and Ive just seen it reads otherwise. I didn't see the baby for what felt like ages as I couldn't leave icu (I couldn't move in fact).

Iamastonished · 29/04/2017 08:30

She put pictures of her placenta on Instagram Shock

What is she on?

NotYoda · 29/04/2017 08:30

I think the more likely outcome of the Guardian's decision to publish is this: the derision of people towards this naive, self-centred woman.

Mothervulva · 29/04/2017 08:32

So she's had a baby and is now touting her wares to 'help others?' Jeez

derxa · 29/04/2017 08:32

Country I'm relieved to read that.

CountryCaterpillar · 29/04/2017 08:33

:( I'd go edit if I could! Sorry.

Capricorn76 · 29/04/2017 08:33

I remember a member who cautioned expectant mothers who were keen to avoid doctors and hospitals. Her own child became severely disabled with life limiting complications following a homebirh which suddenly went wrong and they weren't able to get to the hospital quickly enough.

Personally if I were to have another I'd go to a midwife led unit within a hospital so that if there were any complications I would be seconds from the big guns. DD and I almost died when our initially perfect birth went south extremely quickly. I am eternally grateful to the doctors and machines which saved us and revived her.

Iamastonished · 29/04/2017 08:33

country Flowers

Just as well you didn't take your woo friends' advice

HappyFlappy · 29/04/2017 08:34

She admits to uttering some "primal noises".

So can we assume she was screaming the place down.

I would be dead, and so would at least one of my children, if I had listened to rubbish of this sort.

And as for "sensation" - I really think that pain relief should continue until the kids are at least 21! Grin

She and her baby have been very fortunate.

tabbykitt · 29/04/2017 08:35

Because women can't make their own decisions? They are led like children into a particular course of action and it's all the fault of that irresponsible editor at the Guardian?

No - but some may find it validates their inclinations, and think it sounds a good way to go, and then end up being one of those who has complications or flu and dies.

It is irresponsible. It was all OK because she was, luckily, someone who didn't have any complications or illnesses. It was luck as much as anything.

Women don't have to trust to luck now. They can be certain.

Obviously her choice and that of any other woman, but I still say very irresponsible to publish it like that, with that profile. It is an anecdote from one individual.

ohlittlepea · 29/04/2017 08:35

There was a famous advocate of free birthing whose baby died in Australia.
It's sad that this women feels having less suppport and information is empowering. Not so empowering if you or your baby end up dead as so many women did in the days when free birthing was the norm.

tabbykitt · 29/04/2017 08:36

Because women can't make their own decisions? They are led like children into a particular course of action and it's all the fault of that irresponsible editor at the Guardian?

No - but some may find it validates their inclinations, and think it sounds a good way to go, and then end up being one of those who has complications or flu and dies.

It is irresponsible. It was all OK because she was, luckily, someone who didn't have any complications or illnesses. It was luck as much as anything.

Women don't have to trust to luck now. They can be certain.

Obviously her choice and that of any other woman, but I still say very irresponsible to publish it like that, with that profile. It is an anecdote from one individual.

Sara107 · 29/04/2017 08:36

I agree with you op. Of course most births go well and naturally, but some don't and good ante natal care is one way to avoid these. I saw a documentary a couple of years ago about the number of stillbirths and babies who die soon after birth in the UK. About 3000 ( yes, that is thousand) babies a year die in the UK whose deaths could have been avoided with better ante natal care (this is an excess death rate compared to other developed countries). One maternity hospital working on this have developed better growth monitoring charts for pregnant women. At the moment they are sort of average expected bump sizes, but by tailoring a chart to take into account maternal size, weight, ethnicity etc, a much better chart can be prepared. At a cost of about 50p per pregnancy. This really reinforces that good antenatal care from experienced staff does saves lives, and need not at all be high tech, medical or invasive ( eg a midwife turning a breach presentation). This woman's free birth was obviously great, but could have ended horribly. Which is indeed perfectly natural, as are measles, cancer etc.