'Free birthing' AIBU to think this woman should not be encouraging people to do this

[WilliowGreen]

In this guardian article this woman boasts about her wonderful birth experience by rejecting all care including scans because "it was not empowering".
Before I had my baby (she is 2 weeks old) I would probably have thought her lack of self awareness was funny. Now it quite irrationally fills me with rage.
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/apr/28/experience-i-had-a-free-birth.

My birth experience with DD1 was unpleasant to say the least. DD2's not hugely better.

However, they were delivered safely and we all lived, which is by far the most important thing. I really wasn't expecting much more, to be honest.

All these women frothing about 'not being respected' 'not feeling empowered' 'feeling invaded' 'feeling assaulted' really do take themselves far too seriously, and need to stop being such a special little snowflake FFS.

Giving birth takes just a very, very few hours out of your life. I can absolutely cope with feeling a bit steam rollered, or disempowered (or whatever) for those few hours, if it means me and my baby are safe and survive.

I completely support having a home birth or having an ELCS. I also support not being screened for Down's Syndrome or ending a pregnancy because your baby has a chromosome abnormality. What I cannot get my head around is an idiot promoting free birthing as empowering and a sensible thing to do when she had access to a huge range of medical care. What she actually did was risk her unborn son (and her own) life time and time again.

I wonder how vocal she would be about free birthing if her child has been one of the 80,000 babies born in the UK each year who were premature or sick and needed special care. There is a reason why so many women and babies used to die and why those numbers have drastically decreased in this country.

Fuzzy

Daughter. Fox is a girls' name, apparently

Mrs DV, I think using words for the vagina as an insult is pretty offensive, twat, cunt, there may be more. I don't like them personally. I don't think I deserved to be called a twat cos I didn't agree with your views!

You mean like calling someone a Dick?
Or a Cock?
Or a Ballbag?

Try harder.

I didn't call you a twat now did I? That would be a personal attack.
I merely expressed an opinion that the phase is used by twats.

Whilst you told a group of adult women to 'stop getting their knickers in a twist' because they don't agree with your views.

Are you the sort who just 'tells it like it is?'

I'm not really getting all the criticism of her on here.

She sounds really self-absorbed, and I personally would like all the medical help I can get in pregnancy and labour and I'm very grateful to have access to it; but that doesn't mean she's done anything wrong.

I mean she reduced pressure on a massively stretched NHS by opting not to use it - that's presumably not a bad thing.

Also, if someone's prepared to put themselves and their baby at risk of dying during childbirth then surely that's their lookout? In the same way that climbing Everest would be their lookout?

I'm much more concerned about how the NHS has (by far) the worst record on stillbirth in the developed world than the decision of one self-absorbed hippy not to use it.

I had my first in a hospital and vowed to never do it again after an horrific experience.

My second was born at home, alone before a midwife could make it. my third was born at home with a midwife present but I caught her etc. I requested very hands off births and my midwives were very supportive in that. I also refused scans after dd1.

My choice, my child, my body.

Just thinking about it though - I wonder, if anything had gone wrong, would she have been entitled to sue the NHS (ie for being negligent by failing to stop her from rejecting the system)?

I don't get all the criticism of her. Wouldn't do it myself but she hasn't done anything wrong.

No pigface. if she chooses to do that, she takes the risk.

She sounds like a fool with her "I call it sensation not pain" bullshit. She also sounds DS very self absorbed with her own awesomeness if she thinks being "practical" makes her qualified to deal with a medical.emergency

But who are we kidding, she'd be straight on the phone to an ambulance if she had issues (and judging by the fact she called the midwife out twice she wasn't as confident as she likes to present). Then I guess after being rushed to hospital would be complaining that in saving her life or her baby's life she didn't feel empowered by the forces of nature and the medical staff ruined her experience.

Why would anyone refuse scans? Genuine question.

I don't agree with this woman's views but, seriously, who is going to take any notice of them?

Surely not the people who've filled up 14 pages talking about the wisdom of using modern medicine.

That just leaves the other people, not on MN who, as we all know, are too simple-minded to be trusted to cross the road. Or vote.

I don't get all the criticism of her. Wouldn't do it myself but she hasn't done anything wrong.

She put the lives of herself and her child at risk which is somewhat wrong if you ask me. Fair enough risking herself but not a child that has no say in the matter and could have been brain damaged at birth by her stupidity.

Why does giving birth have to be some sort of 'experience'?

Why isn't is just producing a baby, everyone's safe, go home.

Why does it have to be some sort of woo, enlightening, enriching experience FFS

Apparently she is currently hawking her book. One for the Christmas market no doubt, especially if she puts that picture of the placenta on the front cover.

Home births were the norm until the 1970s Earlier on free birthing was common. Or giving birth with no access to medical care as I prefer to call it.

Btw whoever suggested calling the child Badger. Don't be ridiculous, surely everybody knows that's a boy's name!
.

I had a cord prolapse. I delivered my baby by c section under general anaesthetic at speed. There is no question she'd have died without intervention. The only thing I feel is gratitude cause she's bloomin fantastic.

NotYoda Thank you. I was clearly too appalled by her actions to pick up the finer details.

Pigface I mean she reduced pressure on a massively stretched NHS by opting not to use it - that's presumably not a bad thing The NHS would have stepped in if needed and done everything possible to help. Without any background from scans and blood tests, it could have cost loads more. I know she didn't need it but it was a gamble that might not have paid off and wouldn't for everyone. Risking her own life is one thing but that of her unborn baby's is just selfish.

Fuzzy

Sorry, I realise that of all the good points you made in your post, I picked up on that and made a silly joke about it.

Someone on the Guardian website suggested Pangolin and a good name. Girl, I think

as a good name

Omg that placenta post on Instagram

DD was reading over my shoulder when I was looking at the placenta and her comment was "Do you not get chips with that?"

I love her posts!

She has access to so many emoticons!

Content? What content? Oh - I didn't read them past the first six patronising words.

Pangolin is a beautiful name, Yoda. Any girl called Pangolin would be bound to have gentle and delicate mannerisms, too.

the thing is, you can't win in this situation. You chose not to us NHS resources and you're a fool, you chose to use them as and when you feel it necessary and you're 'entitled'.

I declined scans because it made no difference to me whether the baby was healthy or not as to whether i would carry on the pregnancy or not. I didn't need a 12 week scan as I was sure of when i conceived, I didn't need an anomaly scan because it wouldn't have made any difference. the same reason i declined downs screening.

If I'd had trouble in labour, would I have gone into hospital? Yes of course. I'm not an idiot. But i was lucky enough that things went smoothly. I had the basic checks of BP and what not done through the pregnancies.

I forget who asked about why should birth be an experience.....but why shouldn't it be? why shouldn't it be something you enjoy rather than something horrendous which my first labour was. What's wrong with not wanting to be a cog in a machine?

She's insufferably smug, isn't she?