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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask at what age should a child wipe their own number?

28 replies

DrizzleHair · 28/04/2017 22:24

Just wondering after a chat with someone else - at what age should a child be able to wipe their own bum post poo?

And would you check their bum or just leave them to it and cope with the odd skid?

OP posts:
Original poster
DrizzleHair · 28/04/2017 22:25

Ffs sorry about title! Phone autocorrected from bum to number for some reason.

OP posts:
slkk · 28/04/2017 22:25

In time to start school. I'd check until more confident.

AgentOprah · 28/04/2017 22:25
  1. Most 3 year olds need help ime.
RyanStartedTheFire · 28/04/2017 22:25

DD struggles at age 4, but as she's going to school in September I'm just dealing with the skids and focusing on teaching.

NuffSaidSam · 28/04/2017 22:28

Around 3/3.5, but I would expect the occasional skid.

Chocolateteabag · 28/04/2017 22:31

Ds1 (6.5) is a lazy bum wiper at times and I still occasionally threaten to "check wipe" him as he has occasional skid pants.

DH had friends at uni who didn't bother wiping properly (skiddy kecks by the shared washing machine 🤢) so don't think there is a set "age"

abbsisspartacus · 28/04/2017 22:39

Mine is four I went to the nursery the other week to ask there policy apparently they wipe if asked by the child I asked if they could encourage d's to be more independent and they have they won't let him have a dirty bottom but they encourage him to give it a go he is now.more independent at home

TheSnorkMaidenReturns · 28/04/2017 22:41

Apparently it's before school. My oldest needed help until he was over six. GP was not concerned at that point just with that piece of information, but he was later diagnosed with severe dyspraxia. So don't let it go if your child really can't do it - there may be an underlying reason.

Another DC had too many skid marks so now uses these. Wipes aren't great for flushing in general but I hope we are OK with one day, or fewer!

MyHairNeedsASnip · 28/04/2017 22:46

DD is 5 and still shouts for me to come and do it. She can do it herself very well, but she's a lazy little sod. I'm not getting worked up about it, she does it herself at school and I know she'll stop shouting for me soon enough.

Original poster
DrizzleHair · 28/04/2017 22:47

Thanks for ask the answers hive!
DD is 3.5 and tries to wipe at nursery, but at home she always calls for one of us to wipe her. She's said she's happy to try wiping herself, and generally her bum is pretty squeaky clean after a poo, though about once a week it is messier...

I'll keep encouraging her to wipe herself and see how knickers fare.

Woman in question was talking with horror about a 4yr old asking her (leader at a music event, parent not there for some reason) to wipe her bum and bending over for it. I was somewhat surprised she was horrified at a 4yr old asking for help, and wondered if I needed to get cracking on getting DD self sufficient.

Glad your views seem broadly in line with mine.

OP posts:
khajiit13 · 28/04/2017 22:48

Ds can at 3 and 9 months unless it's really messy

khajiit13 · 28/04/2017 22:50

Ds doesn't seen to poop at nursery so can't help there

sadsquid · 28/04/2017 22:56

DD sometimes wanted me to do a 'last wipe to check' even when she was 5, though sorted herself out perfectly happily at school. I've known heaps of 4 year olds still asking for help. Very normal IME.

tigercub50 · 28/04/2017 23:00

My DD is 8 & still has to be reminded to wipe thoroughly ( she has chronic constipation & suffers with soiled pants which is sometimes overflow & sometimes from lack of proper wiping). I was talking to some other Mums recently & one said her 9 year old was still not all that brilliant. I tend to buy wipes for DD as they are moist & better than just paper

MrsTwix · 28/04/2017 23:02

If a child isn't old enough to wipe their own bum then they shouldn't be left for a stranger to do it for them. I'd be happy to help my niece or my best friends child if I was babysitting etc etc, but if I was trying to lead an event and a random child presented their bum to me for wiping I'd be rather unimpressed.

LBOCS2 · 28/04/2017 23:04

DD1 has started wiping herself in the last couple of weeks, and she's 4.5. She has got the hang of it much faster than we anticipated actually, which was nice! I think she started on primary school allocation day, as I suddenly had an 'oh shit' moment about being able to do it before starting school.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 28/04/2017 23:07

DS is getting the hang of it at 6. In his defence, following food allergies and intolerances when he was younger, he doesn't have the easiest texture to deal with. Based on the balance of his academic skills, personal care skills and family history, I strongly suspect dyslexia which is supported by an initial screening from school.

sdaisy26 · 28/04/2017 23:10

My dd has only started doing it willingly in the past month or so; she's 4y 8mo. She's been able to do it for longer than this though, has just chosen the lazy option!

She started school at just over 4 and I was worried but she coped fine despite still asking me to wipe at home. Yet another disadvantage for summer borns.

sdaisy26 · 28/04/2017 23:13

Otoh her younger brother is fairly independent already at just turned 3 (I insist on a final wipe to check but he's usually done a good enough job). Think it's a second child thing that he wants to do everything his big sister does.

Notcontent · 28/04/2017 23:13

My dd was quite old - but in her defence she has lots of food intolerances which mean that things are often a bit messy... She uses wipes (but we don't flush them).

RaspberryBeret34 · 28/04/2017 23:13

I think ds started soon after turning 4. I found it helped to be there with him while he did it and encourage plenty of wipes and then suggest a "checking one" and if that one was clean, no need for more. I'd go with allowing plenty of loo roll at first.

Honeybee79 · 28/04/2017 23:16

DS is 6 and does it buy still asks us to check sometimes.

NotALottaPot · 28/04/2017 23:18

Well, DH is nearly 40 and still leaves skid marks in his pants so I'm not having high expectations for DS who is nearly 4.

dontbesillyhenry · 28/04/2017 23:19

I'm just here to chuckle at the autocorrect- sorry but as far as they go it's a good one!

HashiAsLarry · 28/04/2017 23:20

DD picked it up very early on. I don't remember nursery mentioning as an issue though I remember making a focus the summer before she started school.

DS tries, but just can't get it at the moment. We assumed this was because DD was always used to wiping whereas he only had to waggle before, but you all are making me think its not this at all!