To have 3.5 year old ds in a buggy?

[MrsCobain]

I meet up with this group of Mum's about once a week. I always take ds (who's almost 3 and a half) in his jogging buggy.

I do this partly because walking is the only exercise I get (I kind of walk-jog) and partly as my car is a bit of a gas guzzling monster and I only use it when I absolutely have to.

It's 2 miles each way so 4 in total. Ds actually walks a large part of it but is usually knackered on the way back as he's walked most of the way there and played like a nutter for a couple of hours. It's also nap time, he normally falls asleep on the way home. He spends probably about 50-70% of his waking hours outside on the go, he's really active.

Anyway, I thought I'd seen some raised eyebrows at me coming in with a buggy before but today one of them made a really snippy little comment "so ridiculous he's still in a stroller" and all of the others (bar one) all jumped in and agreed that their kids the same age were never allowed in them anymore and were all sneery about kids being babied these days.

Aibu in thinking a, it's fine for ds to do part of the journey in a buggy and b, it's a bit bloody rich considering they all drive anyway?

We have no car, so we brought a buggy on days-out till age 4.

DD was good at walking but sometimes got REALLY tired and need to crash for a bit. People who drive everywhere have no idea how much walking you do when you live in an urban area with no car.

Is there any good reason you didn't just reply and say - it's a four mile walk and he can't manage it all?

They are horrid and judgy but you need to get a grip. Raise an eyebrow and respond appropriately.

I am still trying to wean my DD of the pushchair and she is 4! I have just put it in the shed with a view to selling it. So I don't think you are at all unreasonable. I've never had any comments but I was getting a bit embarrassed. We also found it very useful on days out for putting a picnic, coats and all our other clutter in.

I've found that other people would drive short distances (say under half a mile) that I would walk with her in the buggy, for example to the park. And plenty of parents at DD's nursery drive a very short distance to school. Their children are being just as sedentary sat in a car as they would be in a pushchair.

People who drive don't have a fucking clue. DS and I have both always enjoyed being outside, he's always been a great walker but (even at four, and able to happily walk 10+ miles a day) nowhere near as good as I am, obviously. Because he has to do at least twice as many steps as I do to cover the same distance.

I used the buggy on and off until he was about 3.5, for times when he needed a rest on the way home after actual hours on his feet, or for arriving at nursery (1.5miles away) at 8o'c sharp every day without me having to snap "hurry up!" every few metres. I missed it when he didn't need it any more because it was useful for carrying crap around with us. Again, like a car.

Gosh OP, sounds rough.

You are literally stuck with these people for life???

So your choice is socialise with these awful mums or become isolated?

I don't mean to be overdramatic but is there any options to move? It sounds hideous and very small minded. Is this where you want to raise your DC?

(I am not one for saying 'just move' as I realise it's not that easy but in this instance I'd seriously consider it as an option)

Buggy issues aside, it sounds like they are going to dig you out over any little thing?

I would have raised my eyebrows at you out of jealousy. Dd was out the buggy before two as she was tall and learnt to put her feet on the wheels and tip us up. I couldn't carry her, she was heavy. I'd have loved to keep the buggy longer.

People who regularly drive aren't going to get it I'm afraid.

It's funny because if you had him on a buggy board I don't think people would give it a second thought. That's how we do long journeys at same age

If you were strapping him in for your own convenience every time you left the house then I would agree he is much too old. But for that kind of activity and long journey it's a good idea to bring it along as it would be too much for him.

Sorry that were so judgey.

What's the difference in putting him in a buggy to transport him as opposed to strapping him in a car seat?? It would be different if he was being pushed around all day in it but it sounds like he is getting plenty of exercise too. Ignore!!

Still use a buggy for the 3 year old if I am picking him up from school or we are on a day out.

Dh drives, I don't. There is no way in hell I want to persuade a tired 3 year old to walk, or even better wake him up at the end of the bus journey which he still consistently falls asleep on to get him to walk home. Waking ds up is a baaaaaaaaad idea.

Fwiw he is 18kg and no, I can't carry him home when he is having a screaming tantrum with all the other bags either.

Going to school he is fine and I don't take the wheels then.

I don't drive, I have more than one child (one of whom is totally non-compliant) and I have a job. I do not have time to bimble about for an hour every time we need to go to school or the shops. So my 3yo is in a buggy and will be until he's ousted (onto a buggy board) by the next baby in a couple of months.

I don't drive my youngest is 2.5 I walk milked and miles a day as does she. But I always have the buggy
I can get from place to place quickly
She gets tired at times, obviously!
And it carries all my shopping!

I know sometime I get looks in the playground but I never want to give up the buggy !

Also I fuckin hate car seats.
The thought of wrestling in and out then, unbearable

Ageee about the urban areas without a car- I average out 15-20000 steps a day. That's a lot more for little legs! As it happens we only use the buggy for nursery runs, otherwise we walk everywhere.

They sound bloody horrible.

Could you try a 1 on 1 meet with the one that seems a bit nicer? She may well be feeling they are the only option for mum friends she has.

Might be difficult for it not to turn into a full on moan fest though....

Crunchy - we've considered moving but our house is here and wouldn't sell. Dh's parents and sister are here too, the only family ds has in this country. The school here is amazing too. We'd have to pay a fortune to get similar on the mainland.

Every couple of months we get down and talk of moving but we do have good friends not too far away but just not on this island so it's much harder to get to see them.

I want to keep things on a civil footing with people here, I've seen others run afoul of the island mentality and it ain't pretty. I try and keep my head down, be bland and nice.

Fragglez - we have met alone a few times. She's also not from here and is a little on the outsider herself. At least she's American though so people don't actively think she's a massive bastard.

I don't really understand what people are judging? Is it just an assumption that late buggy users are raising sedentary children?

Mine were out of the buggy and walking at two, but only because back in the day I had to get the bus everywhere and they didn't have walk on buses back then. This meant I had to take the child out of the buggy, get on the bus with the buggy, a child and a bag or two of shopping, struggle to pay the driver, struggle to put the buggy on the buggy rack and find a seat, by this time the bus was moving again.
Then do the same in reverse to get off.
I used to be grateful to anyone who offered to hold my child while I did this, or to a man who offered to take my buggy onto the bus and put it in the rack.
I would never judge anyone for putting their child in a buggy, regardless of their age.
I still get on a bus occasionally when I need to go into town, rather than drive and I'm envious of the parents who can walk onto the bus with their children in the buggy.
What harm is it causing to anyone else whether a child is in a buggy or not? It's the parents choice and nothing to do with anyone else.