To have 3.5 year old ds in a buggy?

[MrsCobain]

I meet up with this group of Mum's about once a week. I always take ds (who's almost 3 and a half) in his jogging buggy.

I do this partly because walking is the only exercise I get (I kind of walk-jog) and partly as my car is a bit of a gas guzzling monster and I only use it when I absolutely have to.

It's 2 miles each way so 4 in total. Ds actually walks a large part of it but is usually knackered on the way back as he's walked most of the way there and played like a nutter for a couple of hours. It's also nap time, he normally falls asleep on the way home. He spends probably about 50-70% of his waking hours outside on the go, he's really active.

Anyway, I thought I'd seen some raised eyebrows at me coming in with a buggy before but today one of them made a really snippy little comment "so ridiculous he's still in a stroller" and all of the others (bar one) all jumped in and agreed that their kids the same age were never allowed in them anymore and were all sneery about kids being babied these days.

Aibu in thinking a, it's fine for ds to do part of the journey in a buggy and b, it's a bit bloody rich considering they all drive anyway?

I don't have a car so always bring the buggy with me. Dd can walk quite long distances but if we have to be somewhere quickly, or she gets tired or starts to play up, in she goes. She's just turned three but I was starting to wonder if people would judge me for it. Oh well.

My dd was out of her buggy by the time she was 2, she could walk everywhere, never tired and behaved then I had ds, he, was a bloody flight risk, even on reins he wasn't to be trusted, it was just so difficult so he was in a buggy until just before he was 4, mainly on long walks and in busy places, he's twelve now and is relatively normislish!

My dts were out of the pushchair before 3, by their choice, I was anticipating them being in there a lot longer. Therefore, although my dc were not in pushchair for long I absolutely do not judge others who use it. Sounds like it works for you so stuff those mums

Seriously though, they don't sound very nice.

DD (4) was complaining only today that she no longer uses her pushchair. Mainly because we got a cargo trike when she was 15 months old - it takes me 40 minutes to walk into town, and she didn't enjoy that much time in the buggy - it's only 10 mins on the trike. Our trike is, erm, unusual, and we do get a good few comments on it (though not that she shouldn't be on it with me); the truth is it's an oversized pushchair that goes a bit faster (or alternatively, an enormous handbag extension).

DS is 5 and I still use a carrier for him if we're going out on a long day or we're travelling (it's a godsend when our flight arrives at midnight, he's fallen asleep on plane and we've got a long wait at passport control). Sometimes he gets tired and asks for a carry - it usually means he wants a nap, especially if we've been out late. I like the security of it too if we're travelling on the tube in rush hour.

I've been carrying him since birth and have a rock hard back. Great exercise for me and he loves being right up by me so we can have good chats and he can see everything.

Marcelinne - I'm so tempted to say 'oh you drove' (head tilt tinkly laugh) next time they drive a 30 second walk.

All (bar one) of their kids are huge too. Its like they try to out do each other on who brings the most snacks. I'm not exaggerating when I say that two of the parents actually carry medium sized duffle bags with probably over 20 different snacks in. All high in sugar and not a stitch of fruit in sight. (Again, sounds like I'm being a bitch but it's fact.)

They've commented on how 'poor ds' only ever has one or two things to choose from as a snack and try to push their snacks on him. Christ only knows what they say behind my back!

Ori Jesus! How much does he weigh?! Ds is a tiddler (has rarely ever charted but think he's 2nd centipede now) and I don't carry him anymore, he'll kills me!

Centile!!

I still use a carrier on occasion for my toddler - I love slings - but for being out all day and carrying stuff you can't beat a good buggy!

Round here it's unusual to see a dc in a pushchair at older that 3. My only reference is that 2 years ago dtds were 3 years and 8 months when we took them to Disney in Paris and we didn't even own a pushchair by then. Never really occurred to me they couldn't walk the 4 days we were there. Just been to NY and at 5yo they walked around 10miles a day. But that is what worked for me and I'd not judge someone else. I imagine we walk more in the West Country than a city, pushchairs are crap on country roads and double buggy was impossible in some small towns.

Nearly 19kg now. As I've said, I'm used to the weight and use an ergonomic carrier or a woven wrap so it doesn't register as being heavy.

I used to use a buggy all the time for our twins when we lived in london - way past the age of 3, as did all my friends.
Moved to south Manchester and was buggy shamed on the very first day by a grandma who passive-aggressIvely asked my 3.5 yo son what a big boy like him was doing in a pram (we'd been waking and exploring for a couple of hours and she had just got out of the car with her grandson).
Buggy is much preferable to being strapped up in a car IMO

Ori - I did always find woven wraps easier. Maybe I should bust one out again and try it. That'll shift some weight! And have the added bonus of making their brains explode.

When we came back to the states from UK at Christmas all the countries border patrol computers went down. Fucking mayhem. Sat on the plane for three hours then in arrivals hall for another 3 at 1am. I've never been so glad to have a buggy with me! There were 100's of kids losing their shit.

I judged the people who made loud comments about buggies being for babies when they saw ds in his sn buggy.

My DS loved his buggy (was lazy) and I love walking, so we were a match made in heaven. I had to make a conscious decision the day before his fifth birthday that we would retire the buggy. He is now 15, can walk perfectly well for miles, and sweetly lets me take his arm so he doesn't outpace me. Enjoy the freedom to travel at your own speed while you can.

Country's

Sounds fine to me! My dd is 3.3 and I'd use the buggy as you describe.

Personally I don't give a toss what others think. Everyone does what works for them.

Ya obviously not bu. DD decided "no more buggy" at 2.5 and that was that and we were chronically late for everything forever after.

And I constantly was told "Ohhh, poor thing! She's too little to walk so far!"

We also lived in the city so it was my shopping cart, storage, and as said, handbag extension.

Now where I live, the way to get around the buggy shaming, is to get a bike chariot. Then you're sporty and cool.

Oh and my kids had daytime naps until 4. I still do at 31. I will not hear a word against napping.

I personally wouldn't use a pram at that age. DD1 stopped going in one completely around 2years 9 months and dd2 refused from 20 months! I don't drive and regularly walk into town (half hour walk) around the shops in town (around an hours walking) and then home. I like having the pram as a trolley so would still take it even though dd2 was never in it. Now I've ds whos 10weeks and dd1 is 4 and dd2 is 2 and the DDS walk everywhere. I have got a buggy bored for dd2 which she will sometimes use but not much. I've had good walkers though, ds may be lazy or slow but I'd rather not have him in the pram past age 3. If it's making your life easier and they're driving everywhere I don't see how they can judge, they sound mean!

Board*

I was on your side OP, until you started being snide and judgey yourself.

(Pages back I said they were cunts for the way they have been rude to you, but given all your fat comments I'm a bit )

Maybe go and find some more like minded friends? You seem to have nothing on common with these people?

I'm not being judgey at all! As I said, I'm pretty overweight myself. No fatism here. I just find their commenting on various aspects of how my parenting is crappy a bit much compared considering apart from one of them, all of their children are clinically obese. And that isn't cool for a 3.5 year old. Don't care if it's un pc to say it.

And as I've said before, there are no other friends to find here. These people are the Mums of the kids ds will be going to school with and I have no choice but to socialise with them. They can be pretty unpleasant to me at times, mostly I think because I'm foreign. I've tried my hardest to fit in, volunteer etc but the bitchyness seems to be escalating.

Most people here view people from 6 miles away as 'people from away', someone foreign doesn't stand a chance.

That didn't make as much sense as I'd have liked because wine.

Haha don't worry, this is AIBU and it's Friday night!

I'm sorry you've found yourself isolated from them. I'm new in a very rural area and apart from my sister I'm finding it hard to get to know
the limited amount of other parents. Friendswise you get what's there!