To have 3.5 year old ds in a buggy?

[MrsCobain]

I meet up with this group of Mum's about once a week. I always take ds (who's almost 3 and a half) in his jogging buggy.

I do this partly because walking is the only exercise I get (I kind of walk-jog) and partly as my car is a bit of a gas guzzling monster and I only use it when I absolutely have to.

It's 2 miles each way so 4 in total. Ds actually walks a large part of it but is usually knackered on the way back as he's walked most of the way there and played like a nutter for a couple of hours. It's also nap time, he normally falls asleep on the way home. He spends probably about 50-70% of his waking hours outside on the go, he's really active.

Anyway, I thought I'd seen some raised eyebrows at me coming in with a buggy before but today one of them made a really snippy little comment "so ridiculous he's still in a stroller" and all of the others (bar one) all jumped in and agreed that their kids the same age were never allowed in them anymore and were all sneery about kids being babied these days.

Aibu in thinking a, it's fine for ds to do part of the journey in a buggy and b, it's a bit bloody rich considering they all drive anyway?

Star DD on the other hand had both a buggy back-up on longer walks and naps, right up until she started school. She has a hidden joint problem which means she used to get exceedingly tired because her muscles have to work much harder than everyone elses, to keep her upright, and the same syndrome causes low muscle tone, so it was a double whammy.

You wouldn't know it to look at her and having built her up gradually she can now walk long distances, but that's a few years older. Still crashes out and needs the odd nap though.

If I were you, I'd ignore your 'friends' and their judgy comments. Suggest you all walk there together next time and watch the look of panic on their faces thinking about a four mile walk with a little one!
Do what you think is right for you and your ds and don't worry about anyone else.
I always referred to my DD's pushchair as my handbag too, as other posters have said. But seriously, I always found having the pushchair gives you a lot of flexibility to stay out longer if needed, or if they needed a rest or a nap (my dd napped til almost 5 yo) or to do that extra bit of shopping that you I hadn't planned on doing.

I don't have much to add on the buggy point but am insanely jealous of these children napping beyond about 2.5!! Maybe my younger one will?!

I don't know any child that was still napping (as in, it's daily, it's planned, it's his 'nap time' ) at that age. Obviously all kids crash from time to time, but you can hardly argue that a buggy is necessary because otherwise a lack of it would interfere with nap time! Now that is bloody hilarious!

My ds (3.5) naps every day for an hour or two at about 1.30pm.(or 'nap time' as it is known in this house) He is fucking knackered at that time and drops off in his buggy as we walk back from wherever we've been. If I didn't let him sleep he'd be grouchy and, more importantly, I'd be a total cunt.

My dd gave up napping at 18 months.

The logical conclusion from this?

NOT ALL CHILDREN ARE THE SAME.

Mine are still in a double 3.8yrs and 2.3yrs and I'm already mourning the day I know I'll have too ditch it for a single and, god forbid get rid of the pram altogether!

Could it be that you look worn out or tired/struggling pushing it?
I use to get loads of comments that DC1 should be out the pram when he was just turned 1yr (and barely crawling let alone walking) as he was 'too big now'. But it was just because they could see I was finding it hard to push (I was 5-6 months preg, and snow and hills aren't good combo with a 15kg baby) and they were trying to be encouraging, I guess.

I do chuck mine out for the hills now though, no way I'm pushing 40+kgs up those buggers, I'd rather be fat and unfit

DD is 3.5 and we keep the second seat on the tandem buggy (which I take anyway for DS (18m) and she goes in if she is tired or being a pain in the arse. It also gives more space to stash all the coats/ sundry baby crap. She normally walks/scoots 1.5 miles each way to nursery but sometimes coming home will ask to get in. I'd not thought of people judging. They certainly don't seem to if we go by car!

Yanbu. 4.5 yrs in this house.

Better to buggy & walk than drive all the way.

I can't see anything wrong with what you're doing. It makes sense for you and your ds and your lifestyle which seems healthy.
I'd say these people are jealous of you.
You are trying to be fit and healthy - they are not. So a safety in numbers type thing. I suspect they wish they could be like you.
Don't let them get you down- but maybe find some less judgmental more on your wavelength people to hang out with.

It's been mentioned a lot but these sort of comments about buggy use always seem to come from people who drive a lot and really don't know what it's like to walk long distances with young children. I got similar comments from those of a more attachment persuasion when I had DS/DD in the buggy rather than a sling but these people usually drove and then had their baby in a sling from car park to venue, they didn't really think about what it was like to carry for long walks.

I still used my double buggy for my son when he was this age & now aged 5.5 he often perches at the front of our (very sturdy) single baby jogger city versa when tired. I sometimes wish I had a smaller lighter pram and then he does that and am thankful I have it .

YADNBU OP. The things mothers judge each other for never ceases to amaze me. I bet the disapprovers are hauling their kids around in cars like a sacks of spuds.

And I fervently hope DS will still be napping at 3.5. It saves my sanity.

The age of napping / not napping is a cultural thing too. When we lived the USA DS's pre-kindergarten class (4-5 year olds) had a daily rest time, when they all had to lie down on their nap mats with their eyes closed, for an hour every school day. Lots of them actually slept too! My friends there were horrified to hear that children in the U.K. start school at 4 and are expected to stay awake all day long.

They're jealous, you have a 3.5 year old who will still nap and go in a buggy! Sounds like the perfect scenario! DS started climbing out of the buggy (while moving) before he was 2, which is a pain in the bum for dog walking as he stops every 2 mins to fill his pockets with stones/ wonder off into the (a balance bike helps, but we are very rural so no traffic). And now I'm pregnant he's stopped napping OP the only thing you're doing wrong is hanging out with some very odd people

Nap time?! FFS! He's 3.5!! Babies and small toddlers nap

.... as do adults in many countries. Would you mock them too??

Nrsfrumble praise the lord!!🙏
Someone actually mentions the bleeding obvious!!
In the uk we expect our LO to grow up way too soon!.

When my dd1 was 8 weeks into school (she was 4yo) her teacher told me at parents being she was at a loss with her because she couldn't read properly yet.

Umm yeah she's 4, some children can read at 4 but not all children can, she'd only been in school 8 weeks?! And she was only just 4.

Turns out she had dyslexia anyway..but nethertheless give the kids a break!.

3.5 is SO young. Of course yanbu to use a buggy for a big walk. Tell them to stop using their cars and walk.

Unfortunately they are the only mothers around. There will just be 5 in ds's case at school (and that's with two years combined) and it's this lot.

sarahmum that's shocking!

I've spent most of this year feeling so lucky that DD is an October baby. She missed out on joining reception by 6 weeks, and thank goodness, because she finds 2.5 days a week of preschool exhausting enough!

I've had one of each extreme. My daughter refused to go near a buggy from 15 months and walked everywhere (I don't drive). My son took until 5 and truthfully even now at 6 1/2 would happily use one if I let him (he does have additional needs). Ignore these women!

Blimey. What a bunch of knobs.

DD is 3.5 and buggy was used extensively today. As was the scooter and the cycle carrier.

It takes FOREVER to get her walking in the right direction. She's a big fan of puddles, picking leaves off bushes, waking in the opposite direction I want her to walk in, and running off.

I'm pretty sure the majority of my friends also use the pram for their 3-4 year olds. Unless they've had a second kid and cba buying a double/buggy board, in which case all first born children must travel by scooter or balance bike.

Never occurred to me I was being judged. Seems very normal to me. DD gets plenty of exercise, a 4 mile round trip over hill seems mighty excessive to me.

Shane you can't get new mum friends OP.

Have you considered passively aggressively verbally judging them for their parenting misdemeanours? sorry, I've had wine

I miss Artandco. She'd have been all over this thread with her children who never used a pushchair after 18 months.

Come back Art!

I still have a buggy available for use. DS has just turned 4. It tends to come in handy at school pick-up time as that's the time that he'll crumble or nap if it's one of those days. It's only a 5 minute walk. I could barely park closer, and I'd still have to cop the brunt of him flopping himself around in illogical, cantankerous mode, so in the interests of everyone's sanity, the buggy still has its uses.

DS1 still intermittently used it until around the time that he started school- it was there anyway for DS2 who was beginning to walk meaningfully. I actually resorted to a second hand tandem the summer that they were 2/4 as we went on a large camp and I couldn't rely on their willingness to walk at a purposeful pace all week in a massive field that was over half a mile from our pitch to the core services. I normally used a carrier as a back up, but other people were involved so the most practical option that week was the tandem and it gave them somewhere to crash out too.

Buggies are great for getting somewhere in a timely fashion, dealing with tiredness and shifting baggage such as shopping. I'd rather take the stress out of walking and have them keen most of the time, with back up when they're not. It seems to be working as they enjoy hill walking. DS1 happily conquered the Catbells the summer after the tandem buggy

I feel like I see five to six year olds in push chairs sometimes. Arms and legs falling out of the things. Maybe it's just me seeing things though.

We're a family of walkers, DS only gave up buggy totally just over 4, but largely because it broke! There are days I still miss not being able to chuck him in it. Both my DC can walk for a lot longer than a lot of their friends who's parents have sometimes judged me, so in my wine soaked state ner.

I'd never encountered this buggy judging until I read MN. Today I picked up my 3.7 year old in a buggy and gave her a bottle of milk to drink. Double judging potential.

I LOVE this thread. In London I didn't drive and went through a phase of being so skint I'd try to save on bus fairs by walking everywhere. With my three year old. Tried a scooter for a week when I felt she was too old for a buggy and it was hell!! Tantrums, bad back from pulling her up every small 'hill' all sorts. Nothing wrong with a pushchair and it was my shopping cart too.

But shit. Now I'm in the countryside I think you'd get rotten tomatoes chucked at you if you took a 3+ yr old out in one . My sister in law came to stay with me when I was still in the city and frowned on the fact I took dd out in a buggy when we went into town for the day. A few museums pubs and KFC later her 3 yr old was sharing dds buggy!