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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Get yourself a proper job"

88 replies

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 28/04/2017 13:58

What does that statement mean?

I am a specialist Nursery Nurse, looking after children with complex health needs and children who are ventilated in their homes so the parents/carers can get a break, We do overnight care so the family can sleep knowing that someone is watching over their child and we do day cares so the parents can spend time with family/siblings that might otherwise not be possible (especially as some of our children do not tolerate travel well which makes even the most basic of shop trips almost impossible).

AIBU to think this IS a "proper job"? The person who said this to me works in the IT industry and earns four times what I do annually and is of the opinion that salary makes their work "proper".

OP posts:
SingingSands · 28/04/2017 14:01

Maybe they should get themselves some empathy and understanding Hmm

You do a fantastic job, a difficult job and make a huge difference to the lives of your patients and their families.

Respect!

caanaloni · 28/04/2017 14:01

Of course it's a proper job. And a very important one. But you know that.

missanony · 28/04/2017 14:01

Without any context it is difficult to say but I can't see that your job isn't proper. Do they mean a career with structured progression? Or just more money.

C4Envelope · 28/04/2017 14:04

Thank goodness there are people willing to do the job you do OP. It must be very hard in many ways. Thank you for doing it, IT cunt can carry on - dont give it another thought.

Original poster
hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 28/04/2017 14:07

missanony Salary in this case.

OP posts:
EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 28/04/2017 14:11

One day this person might need someone who's kind and compassionate and works in a caring profession. It'll be interesting to see how they value worth then Hmm

Ewock · 28/04/2017 14:17

Your job is a proper job and a very important job at that. My sil and bil are like this. If you earn below 40k they think that you aren't working hard enough and should get a job thay earns at least that. They do not live in the real world. But then they can't manage on 80k between them and constantly moan about having no money and owing on cc and overdraft.

BorpBorpBorp · 28/04/2017 14:20

The reason that the person thinks your job is not a 'proper' one, and the reason why your job is much more poorly paid than theirs, is that your job involves the kind of labour that women have historically (and still are) expected to do for free.

That reason is sexist and bullshit. Your job is valuable. And you should be paid more.

lastnightiwenttomanderley · 28/04/2017 14:23

Ignore them.

I could earn 4 times what I do tomorrow (actual job offers). But it would mean doing something I hate for zero satisfaction. I earn enough to actually have a pretty decent style of living and I know that what DH and I do ultimately benefits other people.

SIL and BIL have taken the other path. Their household income is probably 50-100% more than ours (so MIL thinks they are amazing) but they work in corporate marketing. I'm sure they enjoy it, but it wouldn't get me out of bed in the morning.

You spend a significant chunk of your waking life at work. AS long as it's enough to live on, do something that you enjoy and feel good about at the end of the day.

FrenchLavender · 28/04/2017 14:34

Christ, what an arsewipe that person. I think society as we know it would crumble much quicker without people like you than it would without people like them. Thank you for doing what you do,

Snotgobbler99 · 28/04/2017 14:34

"Get yourself a proper job"

It means that whoever said it is a moron and that you can ignore their opinions in future. Simple.

fafflygood · 28/04/2017 14:34

The reason that the person thinks your job is not a 'proper' one, and the reason why your job is much more poorly paid than theirs, is that your job involves the kind of labour that women have historically (and still are) expected to do for free.

This this this this this.

GolyHuacamole · 28/04/2017 14:35

You don't do 'a proper job' you do 'an amazing job' OP.

The person who said you didn't is an arse and their opinion is therefore invalid Wink

Keep doing what you're doing your job makes a huge difference to so many people so really your job is better than theirs!

CoolCarrie · 28/04/2017 14:37

What a cheeky sod to say that to you, you have an important responsible job. Get them to get to fuck!

PyongyangKipperbang · 28/04/2017 14:37

If they say it again (hope it isnt your DH/P) then say that there are millions of people who could do their job, but only people with certain skills and attitudes could do yours. "I couldnt do your job, I would be too worried about being let go for someone younger and cheaper" tinkly laugh........

Give them something to think about!

Obsidian77 · 28/04/2017 14:40

What a charmer Confused you do an amazing and necessary job. If he says it again, do a head tilt and tell him "but all you do is play with computers, how is that work?" (Disclaimer: I know it's a real job but it should wind him up)

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 28/04/2017 14:41

I get this. I'm a care assistant.

Recently someone said, "Do you not want to do something more important?"

Er, more important than looking after the frail and the dying? People who've paved our way? What job is that, then?

xStefx · 28/04/2017 14:42

What a twat!!
OP, I take my hat off to you for what you do. My friends little boy had breathing/ eating and swallowing problems and the only time they ever had out of the house together was when a specialised nurse like yourself could attend.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 28/04/2017 14:43

Erm, maybe yours is a vocation not just a job?

SapphireStrange · 28/04/2017 14:44

They're an arsehole, whoever they are.

Your job should be paid more highly. All caring and teaching should, IMO.

Ohyesiam · 28/04/2017 14:46

People skills can be undervalued.
I remember as a student nurse in the 80s being told that it was surprising it took 3 years to train a nurse as it was " just mothering really ". Because, you know, mothering isn't important.

Elphaba99 · 28/04/2017 14:46

Testing, you beat me to it. Many vocations are paid shockingly badly. Does not give anyone the right to dismiss them as anything less than a "proper job". Angry

PebbleInTheMoonlight · 28/04/2017 14:48

That is definitely a proper job. It's also one to be proud of.

Whoever said this to you is a a vacuous muppet who deserves nothing but derision in the future.

snowgirl1 · 28/04/2017 14:49

Of course your job is a 'proper' job. But what was the context of the comment? If you were complaining about not having enough money, then they probably meant 'why don't you consider trying to get a better paid job if lack of money is such an issue'.

PebbleInTheMoonlight · 28/04/2017 14:51

Just read PyongyangKipperbang comment properly.

Definitely do this! I work in IT and it's a deep rooted paranoia that anyone over the age of 30 has now because we know the generation coming up behind us grew up with technology at their finger tips so we have to work bloody hard to stay ahead of the curve and look like an attractive employee.