"Get yourself a proper job"

[hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman]

What does that statement mean?

I am a specialist Nursery Nurse, looking after children with complex health needs and children who are ventilated in their homes so the parents/carers can get a break, We do overnight care so the family can sleep knowing that someone is watching over their child and we do day cares so the parents can spend time with family/siblings that might otherwise not be possible (especially as some of our children do not tolerate travel well which makes even the most basic of shop trips almost impossible).

AIBU to think this IS a "proper job"? The person who said this to me works in the IT industry and earns four times what I do annually and is of the opinion that salary makes their work "proper".

God the only things I'd consider not proper jobs are the ones where you make money ripping people off - like chuggers, door to door scam artists or MLM. I might also roll my eyes a bit at the instagram blogger people too.

Can't imagine thinking anything else was less than a proper job. Surely if society doesn't function as well without it then it's a proper job.

Of course you have a proper job. Who the hell would say you don't???

What a prize bellend. It sounds like you have a incredibly responsible and challenging job. Tell them to wind their neck in if repeated.

rattie,

"I was asked if I'd be finding myself "a nice little job" once it was over, referring to my nannying career..."

Yup, been patronisingly asked similar too many times...we proNannies are "just babysitters", didn't you know?

Agree with BorpBorpBorp 100%

YABU to place this in AIBU! Because you and everyone reading must know that he's an ignorant tosser and the work you do is skilled, demanding and priceless.

My youngest is severely disabled, - peg-fed, incontinent, non-verbal etc. We get 48 hours of respite care a month. It's a sanity saver.

Didn't you know that your role is apparently 'menial' and theirs is much more respected?

I'd just love to see a twat like that have their toilet back-up, their car break down and the electricity to go off.

Then tell them the plumber, mechanic and electrician are all unavailable, but you'll send round an IT guy ASAP.

What it means is that the person who said it is a twat :D

^ this
Plus I get so annoyed when people use the term 'vocation' because what it actually seems to mean is 'very important job to society that you get paid peanuts for'
You do have a 'proper' job

Bollocks to the salary thing too. Salary is one measure of value, and one people should fight for, but many of us view other measures of value at least a small much: the difference we make to people's lives; the progress of our learners/patients/clients; peer recognition of the quality of our work...
I've been the Managing Director of a 2.7 million turnover business and I've been a teacher and leader in ESOL in FE education. Without a doubt, I am proudest of my work teaching English to refugees and immigrants on JSA. It was the best job: hard at times because FE is underfunded and the college was Kafkaesque in it's its level of disfunction, very poorly paid, but frequently transcendentally joyous.

All jobs are proper jobs?!?!?!

Volunteering, cleaning, retail, fast food, they're all jobs that need doing!
Pay means nothing, lots of voluntary work is vital?

oh my goodness. cant think of a more 'proper job' then the one you have. we have two disabled children and haven't ever left them or had a nights sleep because there is no one to look after them. I would love someone like u lol!

Someone very close to me told me getting a real job would do wonders for my self esteem 😒. I'm a carer for my two disabled children, one cannot be in school, also a single parent. I had thought they understood my circumstances till they said that. Honestly the amount of people who think I have it easy and should get off my arse and get a job despite my situation, is really depressing. I can't stand to be around people who are thinking that (and it always comes out in the end) so I generally reduce contact with them, it's very isolating but I prefer it to having to deal with loaded questions and snide comments.

I gave up working to care for an elderly relative (unpaid except carers allowance) my father regularly says I need to return to a "proper job" in law. I'm much happier spending time with this relative and being poor despite loving academic law. Satisfaction is far more important than remuneration imo.

What the hell?! Your job is so important, how is it not a "proper" job!!!

They are idiots and can I just say I admire people like you so so much.

People doing the jobs that you do can honestly be the difference between a family surviving and a family being torn apart.

2 of our 5DC are disabled and we don't get any outside help or support but I can imagine the huge amount of difference you must make not only to the lifes of the children you take care of but also they're parents and sibings

I'd be so tempted to ask him when he is planning on doing something meaningful with his life. I suppose that would be stooping to his level though, as would asking him whether his inability to think outside a very narrow box isn't going to limit his long term career. Anyone can learn how to code, it takes imagination to create.

I am in a very spiteful mood this morning.

It's not just a proper job it's an amazing job!

Bloody hell, how in the world is that not a proper job? Who has said this to you?

I work in IT. Your job is far more important than mine. Carers, nurses and teachers are woefully underpaid.

ParmaViolets - are you me? I was about to post almost exactly that.

OP, your family member is an ignorant twunt. Thank goodness for people like you.

Family member - question answered.

DH works in software and earns 3 times as much as DS2's 1:1 at school. Both do a proper job. DH's usually isn't the most exhausting.

As someone whose family have been on the receiving end of the sort of care that you provide, I know which job I would class as a 'proper job'. I am also old enough to have managed to live life perfectly well pre the computer age - so wouldn't value their job at all.

Caring jobs are massively undervalued and under paid. There are many jobs which in my opinion are massively overpaid. Fat Cats and professional footballers anyone? Time for a bit of redistribution of wealth!

Slightly,

"Plus I get so annoyed when people use the term 'vocation' because what it actually seems to mean is 'very important job to society that you get paid peanuts for'..."

Certainly no offence intended from me by using the term.
Perhaps I worded it clumsily?
(And agree 100% with you re the "vocation" sometimes being misused to excuse shit pay for important, worthwhile, demanding jobs).

I was merely trying to express that personal qualities like genuine compassion/ sensitivity/ patience/ warmth etc. separate people who 'fit' the best within certain roles (e.g. caring/ nursing/ complex needs/ vulnerable or looked-after children etc.), from those who would, yes, be capable of carrying out the basics, if no other (far preferred by them) job option available, but didn't have the extra interest.

Does that make any more sense?!

Disclaimer:
Have worked in a variety of child and ASD/ ASC support roles, (paid plus voluntary). Have nurses/ carers/ teachers in the family. Seen the whole spectrum of how vital jobs are regarded.

You do have a proper job also a highly valuable one at that.
The person who said that hasent a clue what you do obviously. They also seem to be missing the fact it is also paid employment just unfortunately not as well paid as it should be. That's the society we live in sadly.
They are fools and may oneday see first hand what somebody like you actually does then change how they think but until that point they are materialistic twats.