Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH has been sprayed with red dye!

767 replies

Mojit0 · 26/04/2017 17:00

This morning DH was running along the Thames towpath as he often does. He was running quite fast as he's training. There is an area where the path narrows a bit and he had caught up and was running behind a woman. He thought she moved to one side to let him pass, so he ran up behind her, at which point she screamed and suddenly sprayed him with a spray! Most of it got on his t-shirt but some of it also also got on his neck and lower face, though he didn't realise at the time. She screamed at him to get away from her and then ran back the other way. He was saying to her, "It's ok" etc, but he said she was so freaked out and looked so terrified he didn't try and follow her.
Now he has a zig-zag pattern of red up his neck and on the left side if his face and it really won't come off. He went into work and someone told him its probably a dye that the police use to mark criminals! I looked on google and it looks as if you can buy a red spray dye that won't wash off for 7 days! If it's this, it's a nightmare as he has to go to China on business tomorrow.
DH feels bad that she was so scared and her reaction actually scared him. He thinks maybe he should have held back, but he thought she was letting him overtake her. I think her reaction was a bit extreme though -AIBU? I run down that path frequently (although not at 6.30am) and I have never heard of anything like this.

OP posts:
bluebellrailway · 27/04/2017 07:27

Sprayng someone with permanent dye isn't acceptable, and is assault. As for crossing the road, I used to do that myself when I lived in a particularly dodgy area of London and had to walk home from the tube in the dark after work. Made sense. If someone followed then it was sensible to be on the alert. If they didn't, no issue.

Original poster
Mojit0 · 27/04/2017 08:14

Well he's gone to the station to make a statement so hope fully it won't take too long. I rang A&E but they just told me to contact the police for advice and wouldn't say if they can get it off or not.

To the PP asking why I called the police - it was to get advice more than anything else. I can't make a statement on his behalf anyway as I wasn't there. Also, I was worried in case she had reported something and it was a relief to find out she hadn't.

I appreciate all the helpful comments, thankyou. DH is not as bothered about having red on his face as I would be. For him, it's more the inconvenience, I think.

OP posts:
Annahibiscuits · 27/04/2017 08:17

thumb and if this was America, the woman would be able to use the 'Stand Your Ground' defence, if charged with assault

DartmoorDoughnut · 27/04/2017 08:19

Glad he's ok Moj poor sod!

CheeseQueen · 27/04/2017 08:21

Find it absolutely disgusting that there are people out there who go around carrying a type of paint to spray at people who they deem to get too close.
The woman assaulted him. Plain and simple. You CANNOT just randomly spray runners who try to overtake you. What was he supposed to do on a towpath?! Jump in and swim past, then get out again?!
If anyone sprayed me with a dye that stayed on for a week I'd more than likely have a massive allergic reaction.
Some of the attitudes on this thread are foul. "Just" paint?! FFS. I bet you'd be saying that if it was YOU that got a faceful of an unknown substance sprayed at you - you'd panic, you wouldn't know what the hell it was!

OnionKnight · 27/04/2017 08:22

Not in every state Anna and as there was no threat and the woman massively overreacted she'd still be in a heap of trouble.

Annahibiscuits · 27/04/2017 08:24

Trayvon Martin posed no threat. George Zimmerman successfully used the Stand Your Ground defence

Sarasue1967 · 27/04/2017 08:26

Thank goodness this is not America. She may very well have been carrying a firearm. In civilised countries you can't just assault people who come closer than you'd like

Odoreida · 27/04/2017 08:26

As a towpath user ... WHY don't joggers have bells, like cyclists? They are often going at similar speeds. Really if he'd had a little bell to ring, an identifiable noise that means 'I'm coming past', I bet this wouldn't have happened.

Generally joggers are the worst behaved people on towpaths in this regard. They look straight ahead because of being in the zone or whatever, always with headphones on, going at very high speeds and ignoring whatever is around them - pedestrians and children simply get biffed out of the way. So since we can't agree on who is the real victim here, I'm going to say it's all the non-joggers who proceed properly aware of their surroundings and see the area as a shared space where they must submit to the slowest person around.

OnionKnight · 27/04/2017 08:28

George Zimmerman is a cunt who fooled the jury.

Crumbs1 · 27/04/2017 08:37

Odereida I think that's called victim blaming on here.
Some of the reaction bonkers. It was an unprovoked assault. It was premeditated as she took the stuff out with her.
No, men (or women) shouldn't be violent - and most aren't - but we can't go through life attacking people because we're anxious or have prior different experience. If you're bothered to that extent about being attacked stay away from the towpath and get your exercise in busier places like a gym. No excuse for her behaviour.

ZilphasHatpin · 27/04/2017 08:40

Find it absolutely disgusting that there are people out there who go around carrying a type of paint to spray at people who they deem to get too close.

I'm not sure anyone has said it is carried for that reason.

What was he supposed to do on a towpath?! Jump in and swim past, then get out again?!

Say "excuse me". It's a really standard phrase for when you want to get past someone.

Westfacing · 27/04/2017 08:42

It's interesting that the police say the incident wasn't reported by the woman - points to her having realised that it was a massive over-reaction.

I walk (not run) the Thames towpath - some of it is quite isolated and wouldn't do it very early morning alone. She shouldn't be there either at that time if so nervous feels the need to carry spray paint!

Original poster
Mojit0 · 27/04/2017 08:47

He thinks it was because he was running quite fast that might have been the problem because she could have thought he was actually chasing her. I've been in that situation where someone is gaining in you and you're 99% sure it's fine, but at the same time it can be slightly unnerving.
At first he didn't know what he'd been sprayed with but he knew it wasn't an acid because it wasn't burning or anything. So he just came home and that's when we realised it doesn't come off and we googled it.
It looks as if you can buy pepper sprays and things legally too. I hadn't realised this tbh.
I said this yesterday, but it's a long thread, so just to reiterate - He saw how scared the woman was so he doesn't blame her at all. He would have reassured her if she'd let him. Nobody has ever reacted to him like this before and it's quite disconcerting.

OP posts:
Mulledwine1 · 27/04/2017 08:49

WHY don't joggers have bells, like cyclists

I run and cycle and I don't use a bell because I find it really rude when I am walking. I don't like people "belling" me to get out of their way. So I say "excuse me". But as I said further up this thread, yesterday I was in a situation where there was plenty of room for me to pass on a towpath, so I didn't say anything, and the lady I passed jumped out of her skin when I passed her even though she didn't have headphones on and I'd been making a fair amount of noise on the gravel. I suspect she'd have jumped out of her skin if I'd used my bell, too.

Westfacing · 27/04/2017 08:51

It may be legal to buy sprays just as buying a knife but I don't think it's legal to go out armed with either with the intention of using it if you're scared, or even attacked.

Original poster
Mojit0 · 27/04/2017 08:53

Also he is aware of issues around women's safety obviously. He wouldn't want me running down the river at that time for this reason. If he's out at night he doesn't run behind women and goes out into the road if it's quiet or crosses over.
There are so many places to run. Why go there with a spray can? That's what I find most odd.

OP posts:
Mulledwine1 · 27/04/2017 08:53

If I was running along a canal towpath (or a road) and I heard footsteps behind me, I'd look round to see who it was. If I saw someone in running gear like me, I'd probably assume they were running like me. If I was nervous about them, I might stop and have my spray ready in case I was wrong, but let them have the chance to get past.

I wouldn't just turn round and spray someone with no provocation.

SparklyMagpie · 27/04/2017 09:12

Really hope he get sorted OP!

Some of these posters on here though disgust me. I've been raped and it does not give me an excuse to carry and spray innocent people, I wouldn't dream of it.
Like has been said you would avoid certain routes if it was to cause you panic or worry

If I'm walking a night I choose the busiest areas, an I won't put my headphones in, I wouldn't dream of attacking a passer-by with a spray paint

So much victim blaming

Hope it all works out for your DH op xx

foxychox · 27/04/2017 09:15

Firstly - your poor DH...
But - I have just bought one of these sprays and I believe I have every right to carry it, and to use it if I feel the situation requires it. I am a runner and tend to stick to busy-ish areas so that an attack is unlikely to take place however I went to my usual place early on a Saturday morning a few weeks ago and had a very unpleasant run in with a man. I felt vulnerable and had to change my route to avoid him further on. Next time I run there I will have the spray.

Was the woman wearing headphones? I huff and puff like a steam train when I'm running so most people hear me approaching but if someone is on a narrow path and wearing headphones they can jump a bit when I go past...

Crumbs1 · 27/04/2017 09:25

Foxychocs yes you have aright to buy one of the sprays but I'm not sure you have the right to carry it with intent to use it. I think your defence that you felt vulnerable would be dismissed because you were going armed to assault.

Original poster
Mojit0 · 27/04/2017 09:26

No foxy, she wasn't wearing headphones.

When I run on the streets in the day I often wear headphones even if I'm not listening to music as way a of blanking out comments from lorry drivers, builders etc. It's ridiculous really.

I'm very sorry to hear so many people on this thread have been raped or attacked Flowers

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 27/04/2017 09:26

A point re. bells, calling out, hearing footsteps etc. - a lot of joggers run with earphones in so they couldn't hear you anyway, regardless. Personally I think this is dangerous in itself as you lose one of your "early warning systems" but since I don't run, it's not up to me to tell anyone else how to live their life.
But it does mean that a normal volume "excuse me" or "coming through" or anything else won't have any impact on someone with earphones in.

I used to cox a rowing team, one of my duties as cox was to get the boat safely off the water and back to the trailer - it's amazing how many people don't hear you yelling "MIND YOUR BACKS!!" at the top of your voice when they're wandering around a towpath... slight irrelevance, I know, but some people wander around in a cloud of oblivion to their surroundings even without earphones - with them, they'd be lost to the world.

Sirzy · 27/04/2017 09:28

If I thought a runner had moved to one side if woudlnt cross my mind to say "excuse me" - I wouldn't need to as I could get past. I would say "thank you/good morning" as I passed them though.

CheeseQueen · 27/04/2017 09:29

I'm not sure anyone has said it is carried for that reason

If he's just running past, she has eyes in her head. Surely she can SEE that he poses no threat, you'd just stand aside!!
Also (not aimed at this poster, just in general on this thread) it's interesting to see the "MN - We Believe You" campaign in full force.
Translate it as - "MN - We Believe You. If you're female. If you're male you're more than likely a big fat liar."

Swipe left for the next trending thread