to not stop my DC doing things because other people don't want their DC to do them?

[hollyvsivy]

My children are adventurous and unless something is dangerous or unsafe for themselves or others, I don't see the problem. Increasingly I find myself being scowled at by other parents whose DC want to copy mine as if I should stop mine to help them out. I've had passive agressive comments, too. As far as I'm concerned, it's up to them to enforce their rules on their children - not me.

Some examples to give you an idea of the contexts of these situations:

Splashing in puddles
Climbing trees
Standing up on the swing
Climbing the slide (as long as no one else is waiting to go down)
Painting their hands and feet at toddler group
Rolling down hills

AIBU to continue to let my children do what I'm fine with them doing and ignore disapproving outsiders who expect me to stop them so their children won't do the same?

[TheSnorkMaidenReturns]

Most of those things are utterly normal. I'm assuming your DC are still toddlers, as you talk about toddler group.

Climbing up slides can be seriously anti-social. A five year old will zoom down from the top and knock over your toddler over. And it will be your fault, not the five-year-olds. And the five year old will be upset because a. they have hurt somebody and b. they think you are going to shout at them.

Or as happened to one of my kids, the stupid self-indulgent part of a mother who was encouraging her special snowflake toddler to walk up the slide while ignoring the fact the other children were politely taking it in turns to go down, did actually shout at my child, telling him he should have looked. He was devastated.

If you have your own slide, in your own garden, fine, go ahead. But make sure your children know how to share public slides with the other users. Or you will be 'that mum'.

[HelpTheTigers]

My DF is a bit extreme and encourages her DC to do absolutely anything that will make them appear adventurous and not coddled. They climb cliffs (albeit small ones!) without any idea of the dangers involved and no, they haven't joined a climbing club etc. DF is pretty clueless about the type of rocks/stone that crumble or can break from the main cliff face easily. Her DC seem to feel the need to constantly prove just how adventurous they are. Apart from it being dangerous, I find it quite sad. Thankfully, they are rarely in locations with cliffs and are getting to the age where they are losing interest in doing that sort of stuff. Phew!

[CheeseQueen]

i wouldnt go near a slide as a kid if others were climbing up it-was too shy to say anything so it might look fine coz noone is waiting but maybe its because they dont want to go near it

That's a good point well made too. I've always been really shy and especially so as a kid.
If there were a bunch of kids at the bottom of the slide running up it, even if I'd really have wanted to go on I'd have held back and not gone on even though I really wanted a turn as I wouldn't have wanted to hang about at the top in the vain hope one would kindly move out of the way.

[LeftyLucy]

My Dad and his friends used to take Brasso and dusters to the park and polish the slide to make it really fast again.

[Willow2017]

VerySadInside
swing standing because they encourage feet on seats.
You are kidding right? Have you never 'beamed up' on a swing? Its one of lifes simple pleasures. It didnt mean I put my feet on seats on the bus (and neither do my kids)! There is a big difference!

And swinging as high as you can till you hit 'the bumps' that was another great thing to do that they cant do now.

[Underbeneathsies]

Still waiting to hear about the adventurous things you let your kids do OP. Seriously..... Puddles!

[SnoozeTime]

Bad and selfish behaviour is not being 'adventurous' OP (Leading by bad example to younger children/Climbing up slides/Climbing up trees which could result in hurting yourself or others). I teach my children to respect their environment and their surroundings. I would be unimpressed to see parents encouraging their children to deliberately misuse such facilities which are for everyone's enjoyment and may get damaged if constantly misused.

[Flossimodo]

Seriously..... Puddles!

Yeah. Where I come from a playground visit's tame unless you finish up with a fractured wrist

[Seeingadistance]

Reading this thread has made me realise that when I was at primary school we hardly ever sat on the swings. We used to stand on them and do a thing we called "bucking bronco" which involved swinging really high, then jumping off and running under the swing as it came back down! Another game involved one child lying on the ground under the swing, while a second child stood on the swing and told a creepy ghost story, using the swing for sound effects - stamping on the swing, rattling the chains.

Ah, back in the happy days of tall swings, on top of cracked concrete covered in broken glass. And the great excitement when someone got their "heid split right open!"

[Flossimodo]

We have signs up in our park forbidding the climbing of trees as so much damage has been caused to the branches. Also some of the branches have been weakened by strong winds in the past couple of years - making it pretty dangerous. Just a thought.

[squishysquirmy]

Tree climbing = fine unless its a situation where they are needlessly damaging the tree. I would get really annoyed seeing kids swing on the branches of a small, young tree while their parents watched on fondly.
Breaking the branches off trees = vandalism.
Often the trees in parks/by playgrounds are not really suitable for climbing - either big trees with the lower branches too high, or small ornamental trees which are too easily damaged. Better to climb the tree in a wood.
Muddy wellies shouldn't really go on swings or slides, but I can't see the point in getting too worked up about that.

[Theycalledmethewildrose]

I admit when I opened the thread initially I thought the 'adventurous' kids were going to be allowed swim on their own in a lake or dive off bridges into a river or similar. I smiled when I read the 'adventurous kids' were rolling down a hill and splashing in puddles :)

I agree with Whisperings very sensible post.

[Flossimodo]

Seeingadistance

Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking. There were 3 of us children and between us we had a fractured wrist, a broken arm, a cracked shoulder blade, a broken collarbone and a massive dog bite that needed stitches. And all in the name of adventure! (Apart from the dog bite - that was just a random uncontrolled Alsatian).

When my brother came home from the hospital with his arm in plaster, mother asked how he'd done it. Climbing over the high wall into the school playground during holiday time. She gave him a clout round the head for his sins. Happy days.

[CheeseQueen]

fine unless its a situation where they are needlessly damaging the tree. I would get really annoyed seeing kids swing on the branches of a small, young tree while their parents watched on fondly.

Aw, well course. I wouldn't be happy with mine swinging/climbing on flimsy/young branches,
I'm meaning the well established, thick rooted type trees with massive branches.

[Hotheadwheresthecoldbath]

I used to take an old towel to the park to make the slides slidier.
Does anyone else remember the metal slides,high and long and they burnt your legs in summer..Happy days.

[SpareChangeDownTheSofa]

It seems to me like they're judging based on the fact that your kids could get hurt:

-climbing up the slide
-climbing over the top of monkey bars
-climbing trees
-standing on the swings

The rest just seem a little picky to be moaning about. To be fair, when I was young I did all of these things, however I rolled down a hill once and over a bee which stung me - never did it again!

They're just being kids it sounds like, although I think you should keep the rule though that anywhere that someone's bottom is meant to be is not meant for shoes i.e slides, swings, seats on public transport or sofas (shoes on or not).

[FeralBeryl]

Meh. All sound normal except the slide climbing
Just no. It stops being slidey.
It makes it dirty and scuffed.
It puts other kids off using the equipment properly
It's dangerous for the climber if there are children coming down.
Just because your children understand that they shouldn't do it when other kids are on the slide, another toddler or two may not. This leads to an almighty fucking tantrum ending in the parent putting one under each arm and storming to the cafe for copious amounts of coping cake.

[keeplooking]

Notwithstanding the possible inconvenience to other children that a couple of the activities mentioned in the op might cause, I have sadly come across many parents who would definitely not want their children

Splashing in puddles - too wet and messy
Climbing trees - too dangerous
Standing up on the swing - ditto
Climbing the slide (as long as no one else is waiting to go down) - antisocial
Painting their hands and feet at toddler group - too messy
Rolling down hills - uncontrolled/wild/ possibility of dog shit

A lot of parents would actively discourage anything which might have to result in a change of clothes! YANBU

[Newmanwannabe]

Let your DC do what you are comfortable with, some of the things on your list are a bit like the swing, slide and feet painting. The others I think are ok.

My DD lost her two front teeth because of climbing up the slide. She wasn't allowed to climb up but kept doing it. Someone unexpectedly came down. Two front teeth then went up into the gums. Awful. The teeth actually came back down but one year later she got a gum abscess from the trauma and those two teeth had to get pulled out. Lucky they were baby teeth. The adult teeth have a bit of a colour mark on them because of it.

She now listens about not being allowed to climb up the slide.

[Trifleorbust]

If my kids aren't stopping anyone else from using a slide, why would I stop them climbing up one? This thread is bonkers.

[ALittleMop]

none of those things are a problem so long as your children (and if they are little, you) are being considerate of other people.

climbing up the slide is a bit antisocial though. makes it unslidey, mud on arse, stops other people playing in the conventional manner. so its only ok if there's no-one else using it and you clean it up after.

[mathanxiety]

What TheSnorkMaiden said.

There is a lot to be said for teaching children to accept that public equipment works best when it is used in a certain way and that everyone has a chance at a happy time playing when certain conventions are followed.

[mathanxiety]

Mind you , there is also something to be said for parents shrugging at their children and replying, "Not my circus, not my monkeys," when faced with the whine, "But that little girl has taken off her knickers/rubbed candy floss all over her little brother's hair/eaten the chewing gum she found stuck to the underside of the bench..."

[mysteryfairy]

I'm guessing if you are regular.y scowled at by other parents your kids come across as PITA rather than adventurous.

Glad your kids didn't attend the toddler group I ran as could certainly have done without random feet and hand painting and associated mess in a hall I set up and dismantled every week.

[FrenchLavender]

I have a sneaky suspicious that people are scowling at you not because of your children's sense of adventure but because they are being a little too 'spirited' and spraying others with muddy water, stopping them using the slide to come down, rolling down hills and knocking toddlers flying etc, etc.

Or perhaps because their tree and rock climbing antics are downright dangerous in the context of their ages and they think you are far too laid back about the safety and wellbeing of your own children.

All the things you mention are perfectly normal and most people wouldn't give a stuff so long as you weren't omehow being a bit irresponsible or allowing your children to bother others by doing them.