To be batshit cross that my dc has had to sign a contract saying he will play with a child at school?

[GibbonMinstrel]

There's a long history.

My ds is shy, geeky. Knows what he likes -very academic/not great socially There's a bulldozer child who is his opposite. Alpha mum, jazz hands, sporty, darling-darling who is related to a staff member.

This other child has worked his way through his class bullying kids, controlling stuff and really wrecking friendships. My ds just doesn't get on with this kind of person. He reads during a lot of breaks (TA is a friend and has told me) and the other child has been taking,kicking and removing his books. It all came to a head last Friday when my DS reacted and screamed and the child to leave him alone and walked away.

The other kid went into meltdown- involved the headteacher (yes really) and between them they decided the best solution would be to contractually oblige my kid(nobody else's) to play for three set days with him.

Dh drafted up a contract yesterday for the HT to come to every single weekend BBQ over the summer and asked her to sign it and he was told not to be so ridiculous (hmm really)

The contract was enforced today and I've just collected DS from school in bits saying he doesn't want to go back.

Is this completely batshit or have I entered a twilight zone.

Sorry to be so ranty. I'm so cross!

Does not make sense on many many levels. I would double check with school before getting worked up about it.

shameless placemarking!

Also, I want to applaud you xx

waiting lists for a change of school may be long btw, but where there is urgent need, ie, a child out of school, they often get bumped to first in line. Just FYI ;)

Have fun at the Science Museum!

Francis information is correct, however you will not get your son's personal info under FOIA as this makes information available in the public domain. Use the other legislation cited.

I would tell the headteacher you are not happy. Bully will have to learn to make own friends. They can ask your child to be nice to them but can't force them to play with bully. As for the contract??. I would contact council ed dept if head does not back down.

I just HAVE to answer this. I would be mad, mad, mad as hell and DO something about it!!! The reason is, when my wonderful daughter, (4 and a half at the time) and extremely confident happy, and gregarious, started infant school, she was "tasked" (yes "tasked"!) to look after a little girl who was a anxious, constantly crying, and a complete nervous wreck. I watched my little girl have her first few months at school completely RUINED, and began to see a change in her OWN emotional confidence. In the end, I went to the school, and demanded to stay for the day, offering to look after the poor child who had such troubles. Again, H.T. said I was being "ridiculous" but I argued and argued, and made it clear that I was going to stay, come what may, so that MY daughter could be allowed to "play with other children" and get to know her peer group and behave like a four and a half year old, and not a bloody child-minder!!! just in order to make live easier for the teachers, (and yes I did swear in the H.T. office!)
It wasn't until I mentioned that I might have to call Social Services, that the H.T. backed down and said she would sort matters out! My daughter remembers, to this day, that miserable, horrible time she had, when she should have been being care-free and enjoying her new school. She is now 29! Mum, GET IN THERE, and make merry hell! This is disgusting!

I work in education and usually come on these threads to support the school but not this time.

My DS sounds like yours quiet and self contained. He suffered low level bullying all through primary because of the 'let's be friends' policy. Got to secondary, the school couldn't care if you are friends but if you bully they jump up and down on you. The bullying stopped.

Outrageous forcing anyone to be with someone they don't like.

This all seems outrageous! I hope you get it resolved soon. blatant placemarking--

Write a formal letter to the Governors stating clearly that your son should be protected from the bully and not made to play with him and that the contract is against his rights as a student. Keep the letter formal and not emotional. In the meantime keep your child off school until the matter is resolved on the grounds that your son should not be subjected to the bully. Give the Governors a deadline when to respond. In the meantime search for a different school.
If they don't respond or things don't go in your favour I would get my son into a different more caring school. If the school is like this over a bully then they don't listen and others things could happen.
The school is totally out of order and if your son likes to read during playtime what is the problem?

so amazed. this is crazy....

You can't enter a legally binding contract with a child under 7 unless you have the full consent and co signature of the parents/guardian. Write it down on a note, just a statement saying that your unhappy with the way this situation has been dealt with and that whilst you accept that a minor over 7 can, enter into a contract the law also assumes that a minor cannot understand the implications of a contract. So, whatever caveat was drafted into the contract, that he legally remains protected to the disadvantage of the other party (school).

Further, a contract with a minor is voidable. That means he or she is able to cancel any contract at any time before reaching the age of 18 and for a reasonable period after that time. There is no requirement for him or her to have a justifiable reason for this, it can be done on a whim or where it may be advantageous to the child to do so.

This contract is clear of no benefit to him, hope you get it sorted!

I have just read the thread and am lost for words.

Having read what is going on i had to come and cheer you and your son on. As a exTA in high school I have never come across anything so damm stupid. Hope you have a wonderful day and holiday weekend together.

I feel for you, OP, and your little DS! Long ago, my DS was bullied a lot at his school. We talked to the school and they tried to remedy it but to no avail - the bully's parents didn't care and seemed to have encouraged more bullying. It took DD, who was a year older, to change things around. One day she casually told me "it's easy to hit boys, Mummy! You just punch them in the nose and they fall down!" After chatting with her, I found she took care of the problem herself and the bully left my DS alone. While I wasn't happy how she fixed it, it did work and I made sure she knew not to continue. I hope your legal experts will change the school's way of doing things. Good on you for supporting your child!!

Think you need to speak to the HT and tell truth to power! No way does a bully get to dictate terms and a contract for children to play together is risible. HT/school needs to get real!!
Why should your child potentially stop attending becasue of the stupid way the HT is dealing with the situation? Mabe you should be asking why the school is not dealing with the bullying? They are not meeting their responsibilities- they should be protecting your DS- why aren't they? Ask about their risk assessments for the situation- that will put the wind up them!!

God schools are awful aren't they.

Have fun at the science museum.

Get ds to write a letter and send it recorded delivery asking himself for a copy of the contract he signed.

Also look into doing a SAR. Subject access request. And state clearly you also want a copy of the contract within the bundle as it forms part of ds file!

Unbelievable - I'd self-combust if I heard this. Hope your DH's legal people help knock this over the heads of the eejits who imagined this was a good idea. As for refusing to let you see what your son has signed.......😤

I just wanted to say that I think it's amazing your sticking up for your son like this! He does not have to play with that little shit if he doesn't want to! Your son sounds lovely. And I just can't believe they don't think it's good for him to be reading on his breaks! I'm shocked with this school it sounds terrible! Please keep us posted :)

😮WTF?! Enjoy the Science Museum xx

They have a written document, specifically pertaining to your child, that they required him to sign and they won't let you see it ?

Well you've got them now. Dh's law contacts should have a whole lot of fun jumping all over this one. Although I'm willing to put a pound on that contract being inside a shredder and the shredder contents buried under the playground by now! The HT must realise she's stuffed both feet right in it.

We should be encouraging our kids to read. Gogogo your son. These teachers are going against the anti-bullying policies set in place by most schools. Reading is key. Screw anyone who says otherwise. Sending you strength xx

Astonishing.

Have a great time at the museum.

You're doing a great job, and have had loads of good advice. I hope it all works out for you and your DS.

seek advice from lawyer and rip it up id be angry as well
Why are the bullies always the ones who get all the sympathy .. my daughter was bullied by four girls at secondary one of them bullied her to and from school for nine months and she was the one that gets to leave school 5 mins early when it was not offered to my daughter who was the one being bullied bu her and her three friends !!!!!

For what it's worth we also had terrible problems with a primary school - very different issues but similarly a bullying HT.
My advice would be stay very calm and consistently repeat the safeguarding issue and the child protection issue. They cannot avoid these. Focussing on the legality of the contract is irrelevant, they are clearly not expecting it to be legally binding.
You have my sympathy I fear it won't end well though. Our experience has left us feeling you can't fight an institution, we had to move DS and our situation 3 years later with another DS at this school is now very toxic. Xxx