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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To really, really dislike small children

175 replies

lakewiththewhiteswan · 24/04/2017 21:34

I know it's sounds awful.

Before I had children I pictured myself as a Mary poppins character , smiling serenely as children flocked naturally towards me, staring up at me with awed expressions and gently holding out a hand for me to clutch.

As it is I LOVE my children but gosh I find them relentless and hard, hard work. I know it's not their fault, they are good children but normal children so obviously everything is all about them.

The problem is they are so full on and demanding it just pushes anything else out. I can't have a conversation with a friend or DH or do anything really!

PLUS many friends have small children who do not treat me with starry expressions. Mostly they burst into tears if you smile at them

I'm glad I have had children but I wish I could cut out this 2-6ish period, I cannot cope!

OP posts:

Gwenci · 26/04/2017 19:35

For those saying teenagers are worse; surely, surely they at least don't demand to sit on your lap while you have a shit?

loverlybunchofcoconuts · 26/04/2017 19:42

I do really like other peoples DCs, from about 4 months upto about 4 yrs. And I'm quite good at entertaining them... But just for a couple of hours at a time, then they can have them back!

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 26/04/2017 20:11

Gwenci that's true - thank fuck!

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 26/04/2017 20:11

Gwenci that's true - thank fuck!

Purplealienpuke · 26/04/2017 20:20

I DON'T LIKE KIDS.

I had one. Very painful. Not just the birth!
I am now raising my grandchild. Don't like them much either! Love them, with all my heart, but what is with the back chat & cheek???? Arrrrrrrrrrgh 🤔

IPreferCatstoPeople · 26/04/2017 20:21

I loath small children. That's why I teach at secondary. At least you can have a decent argument with a 15 year old.

chocolatesavedmysanity · 26/04/2017 20:23

Lol I totally get you!
I now hate other people's kids! All the fucks I have to give are used up by my own kids!
And it is fucking relentless... I almost found myself screaming earlier 'so I have to fucking do everything for you!!!??' Then of course I realised actually you do, you are their fucking mum!!!! And hugged them again... more like cruella devil than Mary poppins tho 🙈

Goldiloz · 26/04/2017 20:46

I am so glad someone else feels like this. I love MY kids 2yo is still cute but you can see it fading. 5yo is so bloody annoying at every turn. I am a secondary teacher and I basically like kids when they turn 14 and before 3. That's quite a big gap. So glad I'm not alone!

deedeegee · 26/04/2017 20:55

YANBU- everyone is different. I hated the baby stage post 18 months was better for me!
DD is now 20 and as per other posts the issues are worse and more difficult to solve..mental health- depression/anxiety and then accused of causing it by the healthy diet fed as a child, fact that she is an only one, a holiday we went on, the shit childhood I gave her which included holidays to Florida, Australia whilst managing to work part time as a single parent to be there before and after school take her tp activities etc. Divorce- not really my choice - coercive control and abuse which extended to my 5 year old- divorce sought for the best of intentions...
DD is passionate about human rights, does masses of volunteering, works whilst at University, but the worry is immense as I still feel very responsible- the irritations I felt when she was small, pale into insignificance compared to what I feel now, tbh

HarryPottersMagicWand · 26/04/2017 21:04

I adore my own children, I like school holidays so they can be around more. But other people's, nah, they can do one. Isn't there a saying, children are like farts, you can only tolerate your own. 😁 I feel bad for mine as we hardly ever have other children over, I try to delay it as much as possible.

I don't mind some of my friend's children, some are nice, some are fine but have the odd irritating trait, some I just dont bloody like and want them to not be around me. I always thought I loved children. I have worked with them and there are always the ones who are fine and others who you just want to say "stop staring at me/stop laying all over me/haven't you heard of personal space/no I'm not interested in whatever mundane thing you want to tell me about/stop being such a stroppy brat." Thankfully these do seem few and far between in the ones I've worked with.

MysteriesOfTheOrganism · 26/04/2017 21:13

Ok, so I must be weird. Being a SAHD was the most rewarding job I've ever had. But equally the most demanding and exhausting. You get to spend the day walking and exploring, playing, being silly, having fun, and seeing the world through fresh eyes. Jumping into puddles, kicking piles of autumn leaves, making mudpits in the garden...

What's not to like?

Of course, if you assume you can carry on your old adult life it's going to be a shock. parenting is a full-time job for life 18 years. Most rewarding - and important - job there is.

almondfinger · 26/04/2017 21:13

I love them from the age 2-6. They are so innocent and funny and can come out with anything. I think school destroys a lot of that magic.

I am very selective mind you. There are some children I would run away with they are so cute and funny and others that I cant bear to be around.

I love mine. DD2 much sungglier and funny then DD1.

I do playdates when I really have to but when they start engaging with me... you are here to play with my child, not chat to me, now efoff or I'll take you straight home.

I hate babies, didnt even enjoy my own. Tedious, tedious times.

cheval · 26/04/2017 21:28

But they are often much nicer, funnier and more entertaining than many an adult I've known...

Daisies123 · 27/04/2017 07:52

Great thread! I've never been that keen on small children - found small relatives sweet but annoying. Then had DD - my year of maternity leave lasted about a thousand years. People kept saying that the baby stage goes so quickly, but it really didn't. Took four months to fall in love with her so the first four months were this hell of poo, breastfeeding and not getting much sleep. I spent most of the time fantasising about going back to work and finding a conference to go to at the far end of the country where I could have a couple of nights on my own in a hotel room!

It improved once I did fall in love with her but was still pretty boring. The dramatic improvement has been since going back to work so I have three childfree days a week. Work is busy, pressured, insane at times, but not as bad as being at home all the time!

DD is beautiful, gorgeous and very very funny. She is also a very obliging toddler. I love her. But I don't want to spend all my time with her. Fortunately she settled quickly at nursery and loves it.

I'm a huge introvert and I think it's the lack of alone time that I struggle with with having a small child around?

LightYears · 27/04/2017 08:01

At least you know where you are with them, they say it how it is, not like the many many bullshitting adults.

MerchantofVenice · 27/04/2017 08:04

I like this thread. Very refreshing.

NoCryingInEngineering · 27/04/2017 08:48

It's the reflex 'why?' to absolutely fucking everything from DS (age 2.75) which is currently pushing my buttons. And I know this just means he is a normal inquisitive toddler, happily exploring the world about him and that I will miss thid stage when it's over but it still regularly drives me nuts.

BellMcEnd · 27/04/2017 08:54

YANBU.

I have 3 (4, 7, 10) and they're very slightly easier now but I really can't stand toddlers at all. They're far too sticky, tantrummy and unpredictable.

I'm at that dangerous stage now where I look at little babies and wonder if we should have just one more but then I remember that babies become toddlers and I shudder. I'd have loads if they went from 10 months to 5yrs.

Rabblemum · 27/04/2017 12:04

I felt like this too, don't feel bad. I think it was easier in the old days, gran may have been able to give a hand and advice, mums didn't work so got together to share the work and the fun and bigger families meant kids entertained each other. Now we live in stressful little pods of loneliness. Summer's coming, no kids are hard work in the park and less mess at home. Get to all the mother and baby groups you can, they are compony and you'll realise you're not the only one and anyone who behaves like Mary Poppins has help, is a liar or on drugs. Don't worry they'll be at school before long.

knickerbockerglory33 · 27/04/2017 12:47

i am SO glad for this post OP - i thought i was the only one who finds their DC relentless and hard-work - everyone else seems to be doing a much better job on the surface. I love my DD (3) to bits and to be fair she is one of the 'better' ones (but then i would say that!) but there are days that i look wistfully back to the good ol' BB (before baby) days...

Having said that i havent learnt - DD2 on the way, 6 more years of pain till the 'golden age'

Batgirlspants · 27/04/2017 12:59

My 2 big lads 26/25 and dds 18/19 brought me lots of cocktails for my birthday and lovely tapas.

Now that's why we have them.

nigelforgotthepassword · 27/04/2017 13:39

I really started to enjoy mine when they were both over about 5-they are now 10 and 11 and I love spending time with them-we have real fun together.I would rather be with them than anyone else.
I found the baby/toddler years really tiring-near endless drudge really with a few high points-I've always thought it was because I had two close together and was working full time with a long commute and not much help from then h, or family support.Now I think it might be because I just generally find kids that age uninteresting.I loved mine to distraction of course-but i didn't find day to day-the nappies, getting up at 5am-(early risers)-toddler groups-food pureeing etc very stimulating personally.

Leapfrog44 · 27/04/2017 14:44

They are pretty annoying and horrible, I've NEVER liked small children. I didn't enjoy those toddler years either but from age 4, I thought she blossomed into a really wonderful little person. I think there will be some really lovely years before she turns into a horrible toad again (teenage years).

I still have no interest in other people's kids.

Apparently we're not alone. Nothing to do but hang in there until they get passed the particularly annoying stage.

Deejoda · 28/04/2017 00:31

I am one of those who all children (pre-teen) gravitate towards and want to play with and I love majority (the occasional haughty spoilt brats ate the exception). My DD is 13mo and I love her to bits but sometimes I do get mentally exhausted and work is nice because I dont have to be mummy every waking second (and work is children, newborn to 16yrs and I love it). I love talking to younger children and how they see the world and adolescents as they head into grown ups. Humans are great but there are some horrible ones, of all ages. And boring times.

AbernathysFringe · 28/04/2017 00:34

I prefer them to middle class women...(hey, if you can say you don't like kids on MN, you can say that, right?)

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