To really, really dislike small children

[lakewiththewhiteswan]

I know it's sounds awful.

Before I had children I pictured myself as a Mary poppins character , smiling serenely as children flocked naturally towards me, staring up at me with awed expressions and gently holding out a hand for me to clutch.

As it is I LOVE my children but gosh I find them relentless and hard, hard work. I know it's not their fault, they are good children but normal children so obviously everything is all about them.

The problem is they are so full on and demanding it just pushes anything else out. I can't have a conversation with a friend or DH or do anything really!

PLUS many friends have small children who do not treat me with starry expressions. Mostly they burst into tears if you smile at them

I'm glad I have had children but I wish I could cut out this 2-6ish period, I cannot cope!

For me it's all about sleep. If I'm well rested I love small children especially mine and find the things they say funny and enchanting. If I'm knackered I can't be doing with anybody, adult or child. If mine are sweetly asleep I love them more than anything on earth. If they're awake and shouldn't be then I am a mess of petulant fury. Nothing beats a good night snuggle with a yawning, freshly washed small child.

Maybe you hate it because of the pressure you/society place(s) on you to be a 'perfect' parent? Being constantly engaged and a crazy CBeebies presenter is annoying.

I've learned what I like to do with my son and I do that. Cooking and creating is fun so we do that a lot. Getting outside if possible.

Also, I have a job, hobbies and spend a lot of time apart from my son. I never ask anyone's opinion of my parenting and have started to be less than perfect as a mother (as in- I have lowered my standards).
It's much more fun.

Anyway, I don't think any generation before us expected kids to fulfil them or do anything for them (except work in their fields). So just don't have any more if you don't enjoy it. Life is to be enjoyed.

I don't particularly like babies, I'm expecting my first in July and I've worked with babies in the past in various nurseries but I don't find them cute or entertaining I much prefer them once they get to toddler and above age at least by then they've got some sort of personality before that all they do is eat, sleep, cry and poop!

since having my own daughter i have a lot more time for babies and they don't annoy me at all. toddlers on the other hand................ive come across a few mini dictators (including my own) it's the hitting, snatching, constantly don't do this or touch that. Other peoples kids are worse unless they're well behaved. they really get on my nerves and i have to remind myself they're only little (plus it's usually the parents fault in some way if they're total shites usually )

I hear you OP. I have a 2 year old and I have found it totally relentless, endless tantrums, snotty noses, wet bibs, serial dirty nappies, sleep regressions, food aversions, 1000 trips to soft play blah blah. I can totally understand not being able to have a conversation or get anything done. Sounds like my boy, he is like a tornado and makes it incredibly difficult to focus on anything but him. I once attempted to send a work email from home, 2 lines long, took me about 30 minutes, nearly impossible. I love him dearly but I miss just doing ordinary things like an actual person.
I always think, if I wasn't so knackered and if this wasn't so relentless I could enjoy it more. It has put me off children a bit. I love mine and I love my nieces but I wouldn't freely choose to spend my time with a bunch of kids.

Someone asked about why we have more than one if we hate them.

I don't hate my children or anyone else's. But I don't love spending time with them as it's repetitive and dull.

However

It doesn't stay this way. It's temporary. It would be strange to have a baby because you DO like toddlers for instance as it's a temporary state of affairs.

So in other words I grit my teeth and play the long game. Ultimately we had babies because we wanted a family. I feel like you could hurl a million, trillion pounds into the fire and it would not come close to how much I love them. You could torture me and I would not care if they were safe and well.

But it's the "mummy, mummy, mummy, MUMMY, mummy, mummy, mummeeeeee ..." that mostly drives me quite utterly batshit crazy. (I say batpoo bonkers. 3 yo thinks it's hilarious!)

For me it's all about sleep. If I'm well rested I love small children especially mine and find the things they say funny and enchanting. If I'm knackered I can't be doing with anybody, adult or child.

^^This. After two nights of being repeatedly awoken by 5mo dd every hour because she's busy practicing her new skills and then tired, frustrated and tearful from trying out her new skills, I pretty much hated everyone this morning. Mostly my dh. And then dd smiles up and me and giggles sweetly, 6yo ds tells me I'm his 'favourite girl' and dh takes the day off work to take dd because he knows I haven't slept. Ffs.

I only like my own kids and my sisters most of the time. I do like DP's but they are much harder work and the little one either stares at me or ignores me a lot. My sisters kids aren't really much hard work - to me - even though they are tiny because I am usually there to have fun with them and they are well behaved as she has brought them up nicely! I think my own kids are very rude and gobby at times but they are in all other ways really good kids to me the majority of the time. They are fabulously well behaved for other people. Especially when other people tell me about theirs it makes me realise I am lucky.

Unfortunately I unconsciously morph into some super fun happy person around kids and then they all seem to cling on to me and follow me about before I realise the error of my ways.

Yep. My son is 6 now and it is a much more civilised age. I love all babies, but I find most toddlers tedious and repulsive. I like some of my friends' kids but otherwise I try to steer clear of them. I don't think I'm unusual in this.

I was thinking about this today - I also only really like my pets too. Can't muster up any enthusiasm at all for other people's pets.

Love my children, like a few other children quite a lot but generally I'm not very interested.

Some people seem to really engage with kids, I don't seem to have that ability/desire. DH does have that ability luckily!

Glad to know I am far from alone.

Children can be pretty full on but that's because they have energy, spirit, curiosity and Duracell batteries! I love them at all ages and its when adults are full on I can't stand it, give me kids anytime

I really like them (mine was pretty good so I was lucky).
Other peoples, usually ok too - I just tend to stay clear when I know they'll be overtired or hungry. The only little kids I didn't take to were badly behaved (and quite nasty to my DD) because of how they were parented. I chose not to continue those friendships.

I have 2 children and i work with pre-school children. I love my children and i really enjoy my job and spending time with the kids. HOWEVER when i am away from my own kids and not at work, i am not interested in spending any time with children AT ALL. This includes friends kids and i do not feel guilty about this at all!

We adopted so it is extra special to have DD but it is definitely getting harder (she's 8). I used to work with children (mainly pre school) & loved that but children generally seem to complain A LOT! If moaning was an Olympic sport, DD would get gold!

I know exactly how you feel. I have a 3 year old who turns 4 in June and 17 month old twins. The twins are pretty laid back but keep me busy, but my 3 year old....I love her I promise I do. But I don't get a break. It's 24/7 me me me me! I want this mummy, that's my phone mummy! grabs, No mummy, you don't want to sit down for a few minutes and catch up on Doctor Who, you have to watch Peppa pig now or I'll completely lose my shit! D: She's getting better, but she can be a demanding selfish little cowbag when she wants to. Everything that's hers is hers, as is everything I own and I'm not allowed so much as a cup of tea in peace most days. And I do keep my cool most of the time, but I feel my sanity running away from me most days. I know I make her sound like a total brat, she is very loving and sweet too and I love her. But I doubt I'm the only person here who wishes their kids had a mute button or I could say to my other half, here you go. You're in charge, have fun :D and walk off. Other peoples children think I'm cool, my own think I'm old and moody lol.

13 to 14
Fuck knows. Why, just why?? But hopefully they still go to school. Occasionally you get the glimmer of a human being lurking.

This. Completely. This

I am not a natural with children. I don't hate or love them, just indifferent. Other peoples kids make me uncomfortable, I feel like I am on the spot and racking my brain for something to say. It's like a very awkward first date where you ve realised you don't have a thing in common but must see it through. I love my own kids to bits but they are hard work and the constant need for attention is exhausting. I don't remember the last time I peed in peace

I love this post, such great replies 😄 I live small kidd, they are so funny, it's when they get to 8+ and get sassy and hobby I hate. To be honest I'm OK up to 8, it's after that not keen on. My mate has a kid I absolutely despise.

How the fuck do I sign up to talk to all these like minded, reluctant mums?? Every time I try, it turns into a fucking great palaver and I haven't got the time...........

I agree. I am not a fan of other people's children, cannot stand parks, soft play or mother and baby groups. I don't even like my own at times (Please note the difference between like and love).

If you can tell I am tired 1 & 6 year old currently driving me to drink dispare.

Then again I'm not really a people person or an animal lover in the same with pets. I just about tolerate my cat.

Think I may have just cracked it about how to post & join the conversation, but not holding my breath!

I find the whole mummy thing completely painful! The moments of joy happen, but they are not overwhelming like the moments of utter frustration! It's the hardest job I've EVER accepted!! And it's a contract for life........WTF?

I feel the same! I love my daughter but I don't love being a mum! I knew it would be hard work but not this hard and monotonous!! I can't stand other people's kids either!! Soft plays are my idea of hell!!

I much prefer dogs, except the ones that keep dropping a ball at your feet and staring at you in an insistent fashion, they're too much like kids. Kids are egoistical, don't tolerate frustration and worst of all, noisy. I don't know why anyone has them. They do live in the present though, and for that reason thry can sometimes be surprisingly refreshing to be around. (Idon't believe i just said that.)

I found it extremely hard work and stressful and mine are now teenagers - I really wish I had enjoyed it more and not wished it away because it did go so quickly and I long for those days back sometimes ... a friend of mine seemed to be able to take the pressure better than I did because she was so good at ignoring and her children weren't as demanding as I thought mine were (they probably weren't but I like my space so found the having to be on call/demand constantly so hard) - try to ignore more and enjoy more while you can

Nope they are better when's they're younger and innocent and you always know where they are