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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To really, really dislike small children

175 replies

lakewiththewhiteswan · 24/04/2017 21:34

I know it's sounds awful.

Before I had children I pictured myself as a Mary poppins character , smiling serenely as children flocked naturally towards me, staring up at me with awed expressions and gently holding out a hand for me to clutch.

As it is I LOVE my children but gosh I find them relentless and hard, hard work. I know it's not their fault, they are good children but normal children so obviously everything is all about them.

The problem is they are so full on and demanding it just pushes anything else out. I can't have a conversation with a friend or DH or do anything really!

PLUS many friends have small children who do not treat me with starry expressions. Mostly they burst into tears if you smile at them

I'm glad I have had children but I wish I could cut out this 2-6ish period, I cannot cope!

OP posts:

BuzzKillington · 25/04/2017 00:00

It's lovely when they get to teenage years!

Small children are a pain; thank goodness we're programmed to love them and find them beguiling.

I try and avoid them now if possible as I have very much done my time.

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 25/04/2017 00:03

Thing about kids is that they are just so immature. Admittedly they can't help it, but it is really annoying that they just don't know anything and don't know how to behave in a mature way.
I am not good with kids.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 25/04/2017 00:04

To me people saying they don't like children is the equivalent of saying.
They don't like kittens or puppies. I just can't understand it.
However you feel what you feel

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 25/04/2017 00:07

Whatthefuck. Are you the Trunchbull.
"I can't for the life of me understand why children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately just to annoy me'

notangelinajolie · 25/04/2017 00:23

Must admit I used to think that other peoples kids were a bit needy and whiny but I quite liked my own. But then again I would say that . Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but it gets worse. Wait till they get to Secondary school - you will be wishing they were 5 again.

ShelaghTurner · 25/04/2017 03:31

Why is it silly? I hate pensioners. Between the ages of 70-75 they're ok and quite interesting. Once they get past 75 though. And while I can deal with my own elderly relatives, other people's just don't interest me at all. I find them boring and hard work.

ShelaghTurner · 25/04/2017 03:33

The above is clearly bollocks and I don't feel like that at all, but it's not acceptable is it? People are individuals, it's pretty shitty to write off a whole section of the population in one swoop.

nooka · 25/04/2017 03:47

I doubt I'd be at all good with highly dependent and near senile old people. Probably feel quite similar to being a carer for a parent as I did toward my children when they were very young. I'm not naturally very nurturing I think, and dependency makes me feel very trapped.

I love kittens and puppies though, so not all bad Oh and I really like teenagers too, and pre-teens, primary age and pre-school but independent and talking children as well. Just not babies/toddlers.

nooka · 25/04/2017 03:48

Oh and I can't imagine a male focused group giving anyone grief at not being keen on small children. Guys generally opt out for much of this stage and get sympathy for it (plus of course huge praise for any engagement at all).

SpareASquare · 25/04/2017 04:28

I quite like babies and like my own kids but not a huge fan of other peoples. My children always knew they were the centre of MY world but not the centre of THE world. I tend to like the children of parents with the same philosophy
Can't stand whining. Hate it. Same with rudeness. From kids and adults.

Have 3 late teens and they are awesome. One was slightly challenging at times, ok, maybe a lot challenging but never ever disrespectful or mean. I can enjoy him a lot more now that he's an adult and reached a stage where he is way more responsible.

elkegel · 25/04/2017 04:39

I like children generally and find they do actually generally like me. Though I did find the toddler stage very hard work. My DDs are older and it just feels like I'm at a different stage now and I feel about younger children again as I did when I was in my 20s, bemused and slightly ambivalent. But always happy to smile and talk to them if they come up to me.

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 25/04/2017 04:46

The only children I like are my own. As I kept saying when people said I should work with children. They only become interesting when they're about 11, unless they're extremely bright. YANBU.

Guitargirl · 25/04/2017 05:05

I like many of my friends' children and really really not keen on some. It's not a small child thing though, I feel the same about adults to be honest. As I get older I find that I am able to tolerate most people but am very choosy about who I actively like .

toomuchtooold · 25/04/2017 06:00

Do you know what I really hate, and it's happened a few times to me, is when friends who are childless by choice say to me "I can't be doing with small kids. Give me a 5 year old who can hold a conversation, and I'm fine. But the little ones... no." Like they are sharing something significant about their character, like there's something weird and special about not wanting to deal with a three year old. They don't realise that the only reason parents don't heartily agree with that sentiment is that we feel we have to be polite about our own kids. But inside I'm like "duh, who the hell wants to have a convo with someone who bursts into tears apparently at random and who can't remember the difference between yesterday and tomorrow?"

Having said that, I do find older kids a laugh. It's somewhere around the age of 5 that they sort of come into the world, you can talk to them like small adults and that works. And from about 4 I find the cute/funny aspect is worth being around for. Before that the effort is all coming from you. But I mean you're talking 4 years and then you have made an actual person with a whole life ahead of them. It's not a bad 4 years' work. Took me nearly 4 years to finish my PhD and that bad boy has sat unopened on my bookshelf ever since!

Shoxfordian · 25/04/2017 06:38

I don't like small children. I can't stand that screaming noise they make; it's so annoying; especially on the bus where you can't escape it. I actually find the tone of their voices annoying as well even when not screaming- I know this is unreasonable.

myusernamewastaken · 25/04/2017 06:45

I was never keen on toddlers...i found the endless tantrums.....sticky fingers and constant charging around exhausting...mine are all teenagers now and we have our ups and downs but its ok.

Fletchasaurus · 25/04/2017 06:55

Just reading the thread and I laughed so hard at dementedma that I woke DH up....

MrsPringles · 25/04/2017 06:59

I have a nearly 3yr old and I'm really enjoying him at the moment. He's developed such a funny little character however, I have literally no patience at all for other people's kids. I haven't got the energy to deal with more than one little person at a time

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 25/04/2017 07:01

This thread is brilliant! I have to say, I get stressed and irritated with my kids (10, 3, 2) and then when I spend any significant time with other kids I'm immensely grateful that my own aren't half as annoying maybe that's the trick? Spend time with kids that drive you batshit crazy and then you'll be less stressed by your own!

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 25/04/2017 07:01

Children are OK, sort of.

Parents, on the other hands...,

Spikeyball · 25/04/2017 07:02

Ds doesn't like small children. He can't cope with the high pitched noise and all the movement. If a pre schooler comes near him he moves in the opposite direction.

DisneyMillie · 25/04/2017 07:09

I'm not really fan of tiny children - they're mainly just relentless hard work. My eldest dd is 7 and bar the constant talking is brilliant. My younger dd is 1 and although I love her a lot I'd be very happy if she went to nursery this morning and came back later about 3 years old.

TheFirstMrsDV · 25/04/2017 07:13

This isn't really an AIBU is it?
Its like one of those hilarious mommy blogs where the mommy drinks all day and hates kids.
And we all laugh and laugh.

Original poster

lakewiththewhiteswan · 25/04/2017 07:21

No. I'm teetotal, pretty much.

It really wasn't intended to be funny, and I hate it when people accuse you of that as it sounds like you think you're so hilarious and I don't.

But I do find children (preschool really) REALLY hard going. I think it is because there isn't any sort of real logic at this age and they cry and whine and shriek over things you can do nothing about.

I'm not saying it's their fault, I know it is not. I was the same! But I suppose I always thought I'd like little children. It sometimes surprises me that I don't really.

OP posts:

DisneyMillie · 25/04/2017 07:29

mrs dv I think being able to say "actually it's really hard work and not always that enjoyable" without feeling like a weird monster is really useful and helpful when struggling with small children. That's why I like those "hilarious mummy blogs" - they make me feel like I'm not failing (and they're obviously exaggerated for humour - I've not read any of them and thought they hate their kids).

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