Do you cater for everyone at family events?

[OnTheUp13]

Just come home from a family get together. It was a relatives birthday if that makes any difference. We all live local to each other and see each other every other weekend either at each other's houses or we meet up and take the kids to country parks/swimming whatever.

So there's 9 adults and 5 kids. Same people as usual.

We get there today and when food is put out there's nothing I can eat. I'm a vegetarian and have been for 15ish years. I'm not an ethical veggie nor do I worry about meat being near veggie food, I eat quorn etc. When they all come to my house I cook meat etc my DH & DD arent veggie

So AIBU to expect there to be something I can eat? As whenever we go to their house there's nothing I can eat.

Oh yes, order Dominos as whomoved suggested!

I agree highinthesky but the hostess was pretty sozzled at that point! She did, however, announce that there were 4 meat curries "and one for the vegetarians" so you'd hope people would get the hint!

Probably my own fault too as I refuse to join the undignified stampede to the buffet as soon as it's officially 'open'

Since it was a family members jouse id have gone in to the kitchen, rooted through the cupboards and made myself something.

OnTheUp I think Jains are the only 100% vegetarian religion, though I'm happy to be proven wrong. Buddhists and Hindus are often veggie but not always (in the same way that some Muslims eat pork products).

OP so you won't consider talking to them about it?

YANBU - I am a vegetarian and have religious dietary requirements. DH and DC not vegetarian but do require dietary requirements to be met. Now, while I do not expect anyone to provide a buffet...availability/price/way of cooking...to cater for us (exclusively) , I would expect vegetarian options, especially if you are catering for meat eating guests. Not like it is a recent development that you do not eat meat! Also, you offered you bring suitable food too.

Maybe next gathering just ask straight up before the event, if you need to bring anything suitable...this time!

In the same way some Muslims eat pork products

Really? I have never known any pork eating Muslims, did not think you could be Muslim and consume Pork...or do you mean some who 'claim to be Muslim'?

Really? I have never known any pork eating Muslims, did not think you could be Muslim and consume Pork...or do you mean some who 'claim to be Muslim'?

Well I don't follow them to the mosque to check but I tend to believe someone when they say they are of a particular religion.

xsara I can't speak for Muslims but I'm Jewish and eat bacon.

I was just going to say something similar Essential

I have a Jewish friend who loves a prawn cocktail. Muslim friends who eat bacon. Catholic friends who have sex before marriage and use contraception plus a C of E friend who had an affair.

If you gathered together people of all faiths who stuck rigidly to their religious tenets 100% of the time then it would be a small party to cater for.

I can't speak for Jews but if not eating pork is a fundamental part of the Muslim religion then surely you can't be Muslim and eat pork...thought religion was more than just going to a mosque?

Is it like being a little bit Muslim...like being a little bit pregnant?

It's a whole other thread xsara. These days all three Abrahamic religions have followers ranging from those who follow their bible literally and want adulterers stoned to those who interpret it to varying degrees based on convention/family/personal preference/extent of faith etc. I don't feel any less of a Jew for occasionally having a bacon sarnie.

Are you Muslim Xsara and, if so, do you adhere to every part of your faith according to the Quaran? I doubt many people of any religion follow the path 100% including the religious leaders.

• Quran

Yanbu.
We had a relative over this weekend who has a coeliac diet and I always get gluten free bread for him.
Your relative is being rude and this needs addressing, particularly is you see each other a lot.

YANBU
I'm veggie. MIL tends to put out a tiny bit of unhealthy cheese tom pizza which overweight carnivore niece scoffs immediately, yet loads of meat.
so i took some veggie stuff - meat eaters ate it and none left for me!
now i eat before i go. fed up of being hubgry
Gives me the rage it does!

Catering for 13 isn't a big deal. It's utter laziness that they can't cater for everyone. Take note and your next get together - only make vegetarian. They are clearly assholes

Middle

I used to get that too until I went vegan.

I pretty much eat exactly the same stuff as before because I was never into eggs & dairy but people avoid 'my' food like the plague now I tell them it's vegan. They'd be more likely to drink a bottle of poison than touch it

I have been with my partner 23 years and I don't eat meat. His mother still acts surprised at this! She thinks it is very strange. I have given up and always take something for myself now.

YANBU and your family member is a lazy arse. To shrug when asked where there is food that you can eat is just plain rude.

When we host I make sure there are meat, veggie, nut free, dairy free and egg free options for the various dietary requirements of friends and family. I love cooking anyway but I would feel embarrassed to think that someone had come to my house and there was nothing there they could eat.

I second the suggestion that next time you go there, take your own delicious food and point out that if they couldn't cater for you before you weren't expecting them to this time either. PA their arse off :-)

Yes order a dominos!

Of course you cater for everyone! Unless you genuinely forget or misinterpret the nature of their dietary requirement, there's no excuse for not making sure there's at least one option that everyone can theoretically eat.

I can't believe the host just shrugged her shoulders when you asked. I'd have dashed straight to the fridge and found something you could eat!

MIL tends to put out a tiny bit of unhealthy cheese tom pizza which overweight carnivore niece scoffs immediately

What a nasty comment.

Some variations of Sikhism maintain a vegan diet. Langar at her Gudwara is vegan (meal served for free after prayers).

But even she will get friends who are not vegan/veggie to help her make meat meals when she has us heathens around.

YANBU we always make sure there is something suitable for everyone - I have close family friends who are vegan and coeliac but we always manage to make sure they have at least 3 options in a buffet. Same token means when I visit theirs, I don't expect carnivorous options as I can eat vegan food for one meal. But they don't serve a food that makes me react badly and shut away their cats (allergies). Part of being a good host is making people welcome