Do you cater for everyone at family events?

[OnTheUp13]

Just come home from a family get together. It was a relatives birthday if that makes any difference. We all live local to each other and see each other every other weekend either at each other's houses or we meet up and take the kids to country parks/swimming whatever.

So there's 9 adults and 5 kids. Same people as usual.

We get there today and when food is put out there's nothing I can eat. I'm a vegetarian and have been for 15ish years. I'm not an ethical veggie nor do I worry about meat being near veggie food, I eat quorn etc. When they all come to my house I cook meat etc my DH & DD arent veggie

So AIBU to expect there to be something I can eat? As whenever we go to their house there's nothing I can eat.

Was there meat in every single dish?

GoldfishJane I could've had a roll with just mustard/apple sauce/etc

Or to be fair I could've asked to nick some cheese from her fridge for a roll. But I didn't because I was feeling a bit meh about the whole thing.

I think next time she hosts I'll just make something like a quiche and eat it all to myself and say something like "Oh I hope you don't mind but I thought we'd enjoy this too!"

That's rubbish. I'd be properly annoyed. Id think they were trying to make a point.

Did they actually hand you a meat roll, or just serve everyone else and leave you with an empty plate? Surely they could have managed to make you a cheese sandwich or something!

Yadnbu

Do you think she just forgot?!

I think you should have spoken up and asked for cheese or something.

I can only assume she did an online shop and they substituted the falafel with dead cow! That's really awful not to provide anything. I would have gone fridge raiding and found something nice myself. Sorry you got left out OP.

Oh yes. If it is a large gathering I do a buffet and always include things for everyone. My sil can't have gluten and she often brings her own wraps or similar, but I always know what contains gluten and do plenty that doesn't. My nieces and nephews can be fussy buggers so I always make sure there are things they will eat and check beforehand.

Winbigly 😂 I very much doubt it! I don't ever preach about the evils of eating meat etc I just CANT bring myself to do it. My DM said that even as a very young child I'd always leave the meat of my dinner. The thought of putting in my mouth makes me heave. But I have zero issue with anyone else doing it. Sometimes when I see my DH tucking into a burger I think bloody hell that looks good! And then I try to take a bite and I just CANT 😷

Hazlenutlatte Nope it was a come up a grab one. I went up and her DH turned to her and said "where's the veggie stuff for On?" And she just shrugged.

Oh but that's horrible. We are meat-eaters but when the veggie niece visits we do without for the day.

Are they mean in other areas

That is so rude. DD and one of my nieces is veggie, and SIL doesn't eat meat. We don't have family get togethers at our house as we don't live near either of our families, but we go to them when we visit family, and everyone is catered for.

OnTheUp Some people are pretty fervent about trying to get vegetarians to eat meat though, it's as if they see it as a personal affront!

The amount of times I've had people say "but how can you LIVE without bacon?!" Well, I guess I manage to survive because it's just a strip of dead pig flesh, not oxygen.

I'd raise it if/when you're next invited round there - "(Sorry to bring it up but) there was literally nothing for me to eat at the last party - are you OK to get something veggie in, or would you like me to bring something for everyone to share?"

And no, YANBU. At all.

Yes that's rude and probably deliberate
I'd say something but that's me.

So OH goes and gets cheese for you from fridge ... you get a cheese roll.

Befuddled No they're really not. Hence why I don't say anything. But I get the feeling she might think I'm being precious. But like I've said before I have zero issue with others eating meat. At BBQs it doesn't bother me if people use the same tongs for sausages or whatever.

her DH turned to her and said "where's the veggie stuff for On?" And she just shrugged.

Wasn't that the cue for the DH to get you something?

Linley why would DH do it?

Winbigly ooooh you've got me thinking now?!

YANBU, I wouldn't expect an adventurous vegetarian banquet, but I would at least make sure that there was some cheese pizza and suitable sandwiches, maybe a soup and some vegetable samosas or something. It's not like it would be food that no-one else would eat really.

You're not a vegetarian if you eat potatoes cooked in lard!

Sorry Linely I thought you meant MY DH! I promise that last comment wasn't in reference to "why would a man make a cheese roll! 😱"

"where's the veggie stuff for On?" And she just shrugged.

She's a cow. If she'd forgotten, that would have provoked red cheeks, muttering and a dash to the fridge to cobble something together followed by an apology.