Gatecrashing social event

[MuffinMaiden]

I'm not crazy am I? I arrived at a social event, where I was looking forward to seeing my friends, and having my DS play with my friend's DD, and am informed by BIL that Nana is on the way to look after my DS. Without asking me or DP. When as far as I'm aware she has no intention on joining in the event.

I came home because my laid back afternoon with friends was no longer that.

I'm not U to think that if you want to see your DGS, you ask, not just gatecrash a fun afternoon!

Even with that history you seem unreasonable.

'Mummy friend'?, can't you just call her a friend.

Dungeons and dragons?

Is she stalking you everywhere OP?

How old is DS? Is he old enough to just play with the other child or is it helpful to have another adult there too to help so you can play/chat?

Yabu. And a trifle odd.

Yabu

YANBU.

OK so her son arranged a social event and his mother attended. Hold the front page that has got to be a first in the history of mankind. Maybe you need to organise some social events for you and your mummy friends?

Don't see the problem. Clearly you don't like your MIL though.

Yanbu, she shouldn't just turn up when you're with your friends, I would have been annoyed too

And I really didn't think anyone in the real world said stupid pretentious stuff like "mummy friend", clearly I was wrong!

So that was an event with some family members and non family members.
This was for a very special aim (D&D) which I assume nana has no interest in.
She wasn't invited by anyone.
She just turned up.
Well no, that's not acceptable.
She can say that uts because she wants to look after her dgs but imposing help that you don't want isn't something nice or helpful.

I call her my mummy friend because she's the only friend I have who also has a child. There's probably a better term but there you go. It would have stopped me socialising, because her way of looking after my DS is sitting him on her lap and talking to me about how much he's grown (in two weeks?) or very likely the election, since I haven't seen her since the announcement and she's very political.

I don't hate her, she's wonderful, truly, but I haven't had a social outing where she hasn't found reason to be there in months! I just wanted one!

I'm glad my future dils aren't like you.
How could you play whilst keeping your eye on your child.
Wtf is a mummy friend?
YABVU and a bit unhinged sounding tbh.

Actually I think you seem fairly petulant and childish - can't believe you left because she arrived.

I'm still confused. What relation is BiL - so its your husband' s mother, and the BiL is her other son? did BiL object to her arrival? Is he married?

I get it she's a pain in the arse though, that's clear!

The issue of course is that the event might have been organised by her son but as this wasn't anfamily only event, she had no right to attend.
Can you imagine if it was ok for any mother to just turn up to an event you organise with friends 'just because she is the mum of the organiser'?

YABU she isn't gate crashing anything it's her sons house and he obviously wants her there. And of course she can visit her own son.

Shouldn't your irritation be directed partly at BIL? If she didn't ask you or DH, then the only person who knew you were going to be there was BIL. If she informed him she'd come along to babysit and your narkiness with her is known through the family he could either have said, 'No, there's no need, Mum' or warned you it was going to happen.

I agree .you can't say "mummy friend", it's ridiculous and childish, just say "friend", and I think you just cut your nose off to spite your face by storming off in a petty huff because your mother in law was coming. So you got nothing in the end. Can't imagine it feels great.

I have a bit of an odd take on this my mil does a lot of my child care so she's gone out with my friends when I'm at work so when there's an event/ BBQ/gathering my mil get texts too inviting her and fil.

They don't attend everything but the ones they do are brill as they tend to entertain the children and us mums relax

The impression I am getting is that your MIL is oppressive and I don't think you are wrong to want a social occasion without her. Some people bring a strong dynamic, however nice and generally decent they may be

I do think you probably looked a bit petulant storming out, but it's done now.

Are you able to organise something with your friend for another day?

It wasn't at her son's house, Babymama.

It was at the OP's partner's workplace.

YAB absolutely ridiculous.

As for your "backstory"; you see her every few weeks, apart from the time you lived in her house.

Fucking hell.

Actually, I don't think you were U to be miffed then- although you handled it very petulantly.

Having parents around always changes the dynamic. She sounds a bit like my own overbearing mum- and I certainly wouldn't want her there while I was trying to relax with friends.

How do her sons feel about having her there? I guess if they make her welcome then you're screwed.