To think this is fine

[Adirtyshame2]

Dh said to me today that i do to much housework and that i might need help.
This is my chore list
daily
Hoover twice
tidy up as we gi along
Wipe bathroom and floor
Wipe kitchen and floor
Go on my hands and knees at night to wipe up any marks of the carpetx3
clean door handles at night
every week
deep clean bathroom and kitchen
Dust everywhere
clean windows
wash sofa covers and custions ( bed sofa and chairs)
Also i do two laundry per day
my house is hardly spotless my ok enough
Aibu to think its ok?

You need a dose of this, OP. Feminist poster I had on my wall back in the 70s and 80s. Still got it somewhere, although it's probably mouldering into dust.

Well with 2 DC that age I can easily see why you would need to clean throws, etc weekly. I don think what you're doing is necessarily unreasonable, if that's how you like to keep your home. But maybe you could break it up so you are not cleaning til midnight! When do you rest?
Eg, I wipe round the bathroom while I'm getting ready in the morning, I wipe round the kitchen/dining room whilst washing up after dinner. We have a small cordless vac that I use to 'spot clean' crumbs etc during the day, rather than a full house vacuum. Two loads of laundry a day, with kids, if you are home most days, isn't that much.
Probably a similar amount of cleaning, just not all in one go!

It's excess

The children won't ever feel relaxed and this faddish round can cause eating disorders

Get some help

I've only ever cleaned door handles when desperately trying to avoid catching D&V from the kids. I do think your list sounds excessive, OP. IF it's normal to clean until midnight, when do you do stuff like sit down and chat with your partner or watch a film together? Read a book? Get an early night? Your home is important but it's meant to be the backdrop to your life, not the centre of it.

Your house will be perfectly homely for your kids if it does not have mould and damp, a week's worth of dirty dishes lying beside the sink, animal crap everywhere and empty vodka bottles lying around beside full ash trays.

Maybe get some Dettol spray for the door handles and bathrooms if there's no visible dirt on them? And it sounds like the carpets are making your life a misery, I'd lift them and get hard floors down.

I do wipe down stairs door handles every fortnight they are metal and get grimy takes 2 minutes with a baby wipe

I think that's a lot. There's only me and DP here, but we do:

Wipe down kitchen daily
Sweep kitchen floor daily
Clean bathroom every second day
Washing/dishwasher 2/3 times a week
Hoover once a week
Mop floors once a week
Polish once a week
Change bed once a week
Clean door handles never

Eww, I think that is skanky. We change bedding once a week, and it definitely needs it.

Fresh pjs daily, so no need to change weekly.

I let my kids be kids they love messy play iam spenting enough time with them playing and chatting.
I do think i need to chil out at night as i didnt know that dh wanted to spend time together.
Ive set a goal for tonight that after 10 no more cleaning

I'd suggest getting rid of your carpets and having easier to keep flooring.

I try to do this every day (sometimes I don't)

Clean kitchen
Clean bathroom
Tidy as I go
Dishwasher
Hoover
Washing

Every other day
Dusting and polishing (and clean handles)

Weekly
Clean floors with floor wipes or steam cleaner
Change bedding
Ironing
Clean skirting boards (wipe over with baby wipes)

Intermittent when needs doing:
Clean windows inside (done every 3 weeks outside by window cleaner)
Clean out cupboards etc

Just me and my DH and the dog.

I do think i need to chil out at night as i didnt know that dh wanted to spend time together.
Ive set a goal for tonight that after 10 no more cleaning

Why exactly did you acquire a husband? Because it's 'what people do'?

Ive set a goal for tonight that after 10 no more cleaning

Good start then keep reducing by half and hour.

Can you and your DH budget for a weekly cleaner? It might take some of the burden off you, both practically and emotionally, to feel somebody else was there to help with cleaning.

When am working again we can get a cleaner. We are about to put house up for sale so.dont really want to spend money on new floors but when moved yes it will be hard floors

Why wouldn't you want to sit down with your husband in the evenings

i didnt know that dh wanted to spend time together

Did he need to tell you this?

A DH who wants to spend time with his DW?

LTB

You could stop washing all the cushions and sofa covers weekly. Unless everyone is eating off them or something, it's not necessary and they must get very worn out and faded. Ditto scrubbing the carpet by hand every night. I think one load of laundry a day should be enough too for a family of four.

Consciously cutting back on your list now will help when you do return to work. Even if you have a cleaner in for a couple of hours, I can imagine you getting very stressed trying to get all your laundry, tidying and cleaning done to your current standards whilst working as well.

i didnt know that dh wanted to spend time together

Don't you want to spend time with him?

I can't wash the covers on my sofa. You can definitely do that a lot less.

Ive set a goal for tonight that after 10 no more cleaning

That's still ridiculous. How much communication are you going to have with your poor husband at 10 pm? Set a goal that there will be no more cleaning after 6 apart from washing up the evening meal and wiping kitchen surfaces.

My list-

daily

Tidy as we go
Load/unload dishwasher
Wipe down kitchen counter as cat always jumps up

weekly
One or two loads of washing
More thorough tidy up
Hoover bedroom

Change bedding every two-three weeks.

Cleaner comes once a week and hoovers everywhere else, mops floor, cleans bathrooms. But before we got a cleaner I would've done those weekly too.

I have never wiped door handles or washed sofa

Never mind be anything else, people using toilet cleaner daily are killing the planet.

This^

All that bleach down the drains, laundry detergent, disposable wipes! It's awful.

We hoover once a week, clean bathrooms once a week with an occasional antibac wipe inbetween, change bedding fortnightly, run dishwasher every other day. The only daily things are wiping kitchen counters and doing a quick squizz round for stray glasses on bedside tables etc.

So yes, that's too much.

If you are a sahm you shouldn't need to be cleaning outside "office hours" unless it's something spilled or knocked over. And I mean a whole lot of something, not a few crumbs.

Hoovering once a day is more than sufficient. The kitchen and bathroom floors don't need doing daily.