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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is fine

126 replies

Adirtyshame2 · 23/04/2017 13:37

Dh said to me today that i do to much housework and that i might need help.
This is my chore list
daily
Hoover twice
tidy up as we gi along
Wipe bathroom and floor
Wipe kitchen and floor
Go on my hands and knees at night to wipe up any marks of the carpetx3
clean door handles at night
every week
deep clean bathroom and kitchen
Dust everywhere
clean windows
wash sofa covers and custions ( bed sofa and chairs)
Also i do two laundry per day
my house is hardly spotless my ok enough
Aibu to think its ok?

OP posts:
Whirltime · 23/04/2017 14:06

I dont think you do to much.
Daily:
3x hoovering living room its done after every meal as dcs make a mess (we dont have dinning room so bring a little table out for then).
Polishing
Mopping kitchen
Cleaning doors
Kitchrn units cleaned down on outside nit in.
Wiping bathroom down
At least 1 load of washing.
Washing up ×3 (dont have dish washer)
Weekly:
Hoover all house
Deep clean bathroom and kitchen
Hoover and steam clean sofa.
Windows
Wash bedding
I often find i have to repeat things alot having 2 dcs with sn because of some incidents like soiling ect.

blueskyinmarch · 23/04/2017 14:06

Here is my housework list beside yours
daily

Hoover twice (Hoover whole house once a week downstairs twice a week)
tidy up as we gi along (I do this)
Wipe bathroom and floor (weekly)
Wipe kitchen and floor (weekly but do wipe surfaces after cooking)
Go on my hands and knees at night to wipe up any marks of the carpetx3 (Never)
clean door handles at night (never done this ever)

every week

deep clean bathroom and kitchen (yes)
Dust everywhere (yes)
clean windows (nope, do them 2/3 times a year)
wash sofa covers and custions ( bed sofa and chairs) (never)
Also i do two laundry per day (do as needed)

I reckon you could cut back a bit. People always comment my house is very clean and tidy so i am not living in a shit heap with my cleaning routine.

Original poster
Adirtyshame2 · 23/04/2017 14:07

Hmm ive got two kids 1 and 4 and need to Hoover. I clean door handles as i hate dirty door handles and the carpets frim food or dirt.
Dh wants me to chil out a bit as last night i was cleaning til midnight which is normal for me

OP posts:
HeteronormativeHaybales · 23/04/2017 14:07

Cleaning door handles is sensible from a hygiene POV, particularly if people have been ill. Windows and sofa covers weekly is excessive. Hoovering twice daily is probably excessive. Not sure what 'wiping' bathroom entails, but surely cleaning kitchen surfaces etc daily is normal.

Some of it is excessive, but it's not obsessive.

inmyheadimthequeen · 23/04/2017 14:07

I clean door handles, especially in the kitchen and bathrooms, didn't realise it was that unusual. On the other hand, I (let's be honest, DH) hoovers and dusts once a week and floors get mopped with the same frequency. Kitchen a proper wipe down each day and bathrooms and loos twice a week. I do about ten - twelve loads of laundry a week though (2 adults and 2 teenagers). OP's list does seem excessive - unless you are living with a yeti, hoovering twice a day seems over the top and washing sofa covers is a once or twice a year job in this house. Like other posters, I'm wondering if your DH is offering to do more or is worried that you may have a compulsion of some type.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 23/04/2017 14:08

Oh. Cleaning until midnight on a Sat night isn't really normal, sorry, much less so on a regular basis.

YrHenGi · 23/04/2017 14:10

No, cleaning until midnight on a Saturday isn't normal - and it's giving the message to your DH that picking bits of cereal off the carpet is more important/interesting to you than talking to him or enjoying each other's company.

Mummyoflittledragon · 23/04/2017 14:15

How do you feel about germs? And dirt?

problembottom · 23/04/2017 14:16

Bloody hell my weekly cleaner can't be arsed to do all that let alone me! I'd drive DP insane if I did this every day. It sounds too much but most people seem to disagree so maybe it's me being scuzzy

CaptainBrickbeard · 23/04/2017 14:19

What's the point of cleaning til midnight on a regular basis? When do you enjoy your clean house? Do you ever relax?

Lj8893 · 23/04/2017 14:19

It doesn't sound a lot to me, not really sure how that takes you until midnight on a daily basis? Surely that lot takes 2 hours max a day, if not less?

WorraLiberty · 23/04/2017 14:19

Dh wants me to chil out a bit as last night i was cleaning til midnight which is normal for me

See now that ^^ should have been in your OP.

It's not normal and yes you do possibly need help, but not from a cleaner, which is what I thought you were saying your husband meant.

Does he mean medical help? Are you an anxious germophobe for example?

Funnyfarmer · 23/04/2017 14:19

Mine daily looks like this.
Empty/load dishwasher spray, wipe surface (twice)
Empty bins and recycling
One load of washing. Sometimes ironing depending on what has been washed.
Hoover mop all first floor. Upstairs doesn't need it too much
Make beds and general tidying.
Antibac wipe over bathroom areas and squirt cleaner in toilets.
I do a deep clean in one room per day. I.e. Monday deep clean kitchen/dinner
Tuesday living room/hall. And so on.
I don't think it's a lot MIL definitely doesn't think it's a lot. But it just seems to take me bloody ages!
How long do you spend a day op?

Original poster
Adirtyshame2 · 23/04/2017 14:19

Its more about wanting a lovely homely home for my kids am a sahm as well

OP posts:
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 23/04/2017 14:20

I think you need to be honest with yourself and consider how much of your time is taken up with cleaning and how it might be negatively impacting your life.

Do you feel anxious or out of control if you haven't completed all tasks? Could you relax if there was a small mark on the carpet? Are you neglecting other areas of your life, to clean? Are you obsessive about "germs" and cleanliness?

It's all very well your dh saying "You need help", but there is no magic cure if you think you have some sort of anxiety or OCD.
You could ask your GP to refer you for CBT if you genuinely feel you have issues with this.

Original poster
Adirtyshame2 · 23/04/2017 14:20

Also everytime iam in someone else hime its looks so much more clean and tidy then mine

OP posts:
HecateAntaia · 23/04/2017 14:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CaptainBrickbeard · 23/04/2017 14:22

I can guarantee that your kids don't care how clean the door handles are. What do you want for yourself? Would you like a break? I will say that growing up with anxious obsessive cleaners was not enjoyable for me and I doubt your family appreciate the housework as much as they'd appreciate you enjoying yourself with them.

MrsArthurShappey · 23/04/2017 14:23

Does DH do any cleaning?

Funnyfarmer · 23/04/2017 14:24

Do you have pets? I do my sofa cushions and throws weekly because it's a family sofa and by family that includes my dogBlush

Funnyfarmer · 23/04/2017 14:26

If it wasn't for my dog though it would probably be 6 monthly thing. Like Windows and paintwork. Unless something had been spilled. How do you feel if you can't or don't do it for some reason?

WhereDoesThisRoadGo · 23/04/2017 14:27

Pretty normal. I do the same except only hoiver once a day and work full time. Takes about 30 mins per day and about 2 hours plus drying time on a Sunday.

Aridane · 23/04/2017 14:28

Threads like this where posters say it's normal or post their list makes me feel incredibly slatternly and weary...

Funnyfarmer · 23/04/2017 14:28

"Also everytime iam in someone else hime its looks so much more clean and tidy then mine"

They probably feel the same when They are in your house.

TittyGolightly · 23/04/2017 14:29

I don't be Hoover twice a month. Fuck that.