To just want to be in fucking kitchen?!

[QuestionableMouse]

Kitchen is tiny and if you get more than one person in there you can't move. I really want to make myself a cuppa and have a bite to eat but DH is camped out in there watching shit on the telly. If I say anything it'll turn into an argument. It's always the same with him. There's a perfectly good TV in the living room for fuck's sake! He also has all of his hobby shit spread about so I'll have to move stuff before I can even get to the kettle! I've had nothing to eat yet because I've been putting the argument off when I said I wanted to be in!

Why would you wanting food and drink in your own house turn into an argument?

Whaat?

Just tell him you'll be in in five minutes to make yourself something to eat and drink.

That gives him enough time to move his stuff.

Does he have an alternative space for his hobby stuff? Have you spoken to him before about taking over the kitchen?

Ask him to make you a cuppa since he's in there?

Go out. Buy breakfast, a pot of tea, browse the Sunday papers or a good magazine. Get space from the issue. Decide how much of an issue this is and makea plan.

Seriously?

I wouldn't be leaving my own house to spend money on a breakfast and tea, to avoid an argument about using my kitchen for its actual purpose

If he has taken over the kitchen and there is no room for you, it's only fair that he makes the tea!

I'd leave my house to avoid an argument if I thought it wasn't going to be productive. I'd also leave if I was feeling really worked up, not that the OP has stated that, and not rational.

Its quite fundamental feeling you can access your own kitchen and get a drink. I guess i'd want to be able to calmly tell DH its way out of order and get a reasoned response, or give some serious ultimatum.

Why, just why, would it cause an arguement for you to use your own kitchen??!

Is he normally this fucking selfish??

Christ knows why it turns into an argument but it always does. He's now gone in the sulks and stropped off onto the living room. I actually can't remember the last time he made me a cuppa. There's a fucking great big table he could use in the living room for his stuff. I start work in a few hours so no going out.

Can he do his hobby in the sitting room or does he need to do it in the kitchen?

I can't imagine living with someone where stuff like this is an issue. It just sounds so hostile & unhappy.

No, he could do it in the living room if he chose to.

Why do you have a telly in the kitchen if it's that small? Get rid of that for starters. Then think about getting rid of him as well.

You can't remember the just time he made you a cup of tea?

He stomps off when you want to make a drink in the kitchen?

All this hostility & crap when you're both home & you're about to go to work.

What (good) are you getting out of your marriage?

If the kitchen is that small I'd take the TV out of there. It sounds like you need the space anyway and it would keep dh out of there.

How tiny is your kitchen? Ours is so tiny (not for long though) there is no way there could be a TV in there and yet we can both fit in (cosy like) to cook/make a cuppa.

Is his hobby appropriate for kitchen eg food/baking based, or messy and needs wipe clean surfaces? Why does he choose to use the kitchen for his hobby?

And how much space do you need to make tea and toast? Why were you fuming and hangry instead of just calling through 'put the kettle on would you?'

The TV is irrelevant. You can put a small flat screen tv on a wall where you couldn't put anything else useful. He's not a child, the OP doesn't need to move the TV, she needs to ask herself why she's still in that marriage.

I agree that this is not the sort of thing that should result in an argument.

You shouldn't be unable to have breakfast because you are worried about starting an argument.

This is not a normal level of things to have to put up with.

The TV is mounted on the wall so it's not really taking up space. I came down from having a shower and asked (no nasty tone or anything) if he'd nearly finished because I wanted to get something to eat. Cue drama from his side about it.

Ask him why he's being a twat and don't let up until he grows up.

Sorry op your first post made it seen like you were upset and hadn't yet asked him to make space for you. Your tone in the first post was pissed off and dreading an argument. I know I couldn't be bright and breezy if I was already pissed off and would definitely have shown how upset I was when then asking oh to shift over so I can put the toast on.

If the first post was posted after you had already asked and he had gone off in sills sulks I can understand why you were annoyed

Oh yeah, I asked him, he bitched at me, then I posted. I'm sick of the way he goes on sometimes. I can't be ill or tired because he always has to be worse off. It's not a competition ffs!

He is being an arse.

Our kitchen is tiny, too, and it drives me batty when people won't just fuck off out of my sodding way vacate it when I need to be in. DH fannies round like La Dame Aux Les Camellias, trying to be helpful and I have to physically stop myself from screaming abuse at him and just tell him in as nice a tone as I can spit through gritted teeth I can summon that I can manage better on my own. For the 257,000th time.

If he was just being a twat in there - watching TV or doing his 'hobby' (What is your DH's hobby? Anything you can "accidentally" sabotage?) then I would not be responsible for the violence of my actions.

This is not behaviour that you should have to put up with in a relationship.

Take the to tv out the room, what is his hobby if he feels the need to be in the kitchen? Is it purely for the tv?

I bet there's more. There always more - because what the OP describes is a man who feels contempt for his partner and has no intention of putting himself out in any way at all for her wellbeing. He sees himself as the 'person' in the relationship and her as some kind of annoying domestic appliance.