To think this toddler needed a severe telling off?

[newmumwithquestions]

At a busy play centre:
There's a toddler - I'd guess around 2. He's being pretty lairy, this is what we observed:
He tries to drag another toddler out of a ride on car.
He pushes over a younger toddler.
He hits an older toddler in the face - amazingly they don't retaliate.
He takes a wooden stick and uses it to hit another slightly younger toddler on the head.
I have one of mine on my knee, my family member is child free and goes over 3 times and tells him to stop, removes the stick etc. She doesn't shout.

We ask a couple of other mums but can't work out who his parent is. Then he goes over to one of mine, younger than him, hits her in the face. She falls over, falls backwards and hits her head. Lots of screaming. My family member picks her up and shouts at toddler ('don't you hit her again'). Toddler starts crying.

Parent is still unaware. I ask again who the parent of small toddler is and eventually find parent. I tell parent what has happened. Parent apologises for him hitting her but does not make him say sorry, does not tell him off, does not ask if my DD is OK, does not ask what other children have been hit.

Parent is angry their child has been shouted at.

I think they should have been watching their toddler who frankly deserved a lot more than a few shouted words?

AIBU?

Why would anyone shout at a two year old they dont know the difference between right and wrong. The parent should be present and when he is clouting other children she should just firmly say no and guide him away. He doesnt need to be isolated just given guidance and support with his behaviour. Just wish some people would gain some knowledge about child rearing its no wonder so many go on to be screwed up as adults..... hate people who park their children in a group and sod off expecting others to look after their children. The other children deserve to be in a happy environment not be at risk. She should be told to wise up or quit the group its not the toddlers fault at all...

I wouldn't have shouted at him. I'd have probably got a member of staff to find his parent as he needed supervision before anyone else got hurt.

However, it's probably taught his mum not to leave him alone in future.

I'm inclined to agree with quite a few on here... This toddler wasnt being supervised and was obviously shocked to be shouted at ...That tells me nobody tries to teach him otherwise in his daily life . Not a nice situation at all to have to protect your small children from another child , but I think having a go at a two yr old was a pretty immature way to deal with the situation .
I feel sorry for ALL the kids involved ,( yes that includes the naughty toddler !) The parent sounds like a numpty and the individual who shouted at a two yr old is a moron .

I think the op was hoping for 100% pats on the back
In AIBU? Don't be silly.

I may have missed the point here but where did the wooden stick come from?!
Ha - nothing sinister. It was to play a xylophone - like a beater but it was thicker and without the ball on the end.

newmum I always speak to kids at soft play about their behaviour. I find there's little point looking for the parent as the badly behaved child will generally not have parents who care about their childs behaviour. I try to treat the perpetrator with respect-they are only children, but the time I had one bouncing on DCs head - yes I did shout and I have no regrets. The child looked shocked and ashamed, as they should. If my child was doing that while I was distracted I would be mortified and grateful someone else had dealt with it- I suspect some of the responders on here and their precious snowflakes who don't understand shouting are to blame . Do they really stand and watch innocent children be hurt? Yes try and handle it without shouting, especially if the child is young, but shouting is much better than doing nothing while someone hits an innocent child, whoever that person is.

When I see bad behaviour at soft play whether it's my son behaving like a dick or another child hurting him I tend to act in a grown up way that takes into consideration the fact that you're dealing with humans whose brains aren't fully developed and who are vulnerable. Therefore I get on their level and speak firmly and calmly. I don't shout and I don't intimidate. Try it. You might like it

Yes, the child behaviour needed addressing but you don't give toddlers severe telling off.

You don't shout at toddlers, not if they are yours, but especially not if you don't know them.

Once the toddler was upset over a strange adult unreasonably shouting at him that obviously became the priority for the mother, so I am not particularly surprised she tried to comfort him.

It's a bit hypocritical expecting a toddler to control himself and behave when an adult can't control themselves enough not to lose it with a 2 year old.

I would have spoken to the child too had the situation gone on that long without the parent stepping in.

All children can be naughty yes but it's unacceptable when a parent doesn't supervise or manage it appropriately.

There is far too much silent judging that goes on where people are afraid to speak up when there is bad or no parenting. I hate that. Most people here are saints I think and would rather eye roll and then come and moan on MN about it.

Handle that shit and tell the parent off.

I've been the 'lazy' parent. I'd just changed jobs and had landed myself in a sticky situation all round really. I'm a hcp, and at the time was in the process of writing letters to important people as I'd found a very unsafe ward with a multitude of issues. I was out at a soft play with my ex colleagues and my previously beautifully behaved two year old. Enough of my excuses of why I was a lax parent.

He proceeded to apparently wage a war of pushing a baby and taking his things and I went to find my little delightful boy only to find a woman holding him up at arms length in front of her shouting in his face. It was bloody horrible.

I apologised profusely and whisked him away but it felt like we were the assaulted pair. Obviously I watched him like a hawk and even after that he still went over and pushed this younger child which I obviously interrupted and apologised for.

I do wonder in retrospect now if more had gone on to make him behave so badly towards this family, as in general he does as he is told and is the most social of all of mine.

Actions I took immediately after? I contacted our local much loved nursery and started him going for once a week sessions as this incident shook me up so much I decided he needed better socialisation. Who knows if he would have been as good wrt this as he is now or not without hut suffice to say I was utterly mortified.

I had visions of a tree branch haha this is why I hate soft play, it's very hard to know how to react when other people can't control their kids

Did you not think to alert a member of staff once your couldn't identify his parents? I would have thought that was the most sensible thing, rather than let several children get continuously hurt.

And this is why so many kids misbehave these days. Because parents don't agree with telling them off when they are naughty. Ridiculous.

Because other ADULTS don't hold those lax parents to account. They moan about it on internet forums. Ya'll too polite to step up.

Of course you can reprimand children however young they are. What is everyone going on about? But it is the manner in which it is done.
Gently is the answer not like the bitchmum in Superdrug with a toddler who didn't really like looking at make up for 2 hours and asked to go home. She got a smack for pulling on her mum's sleeve
and then her mother said 'That's it! You are going home!' great tuition that.
wtf?
Kind adults bring up kind children end of.

Whilst I agree shouting at a 2 year old doesn't really have much affect I'd find it pretty hard to watch other child hurt mine (especially after watching said child being nasty to others and not being disciplined) and not end up shouting or at least being pretty mad. Not only should all children be supervised at soft play centres to make sure they're playing appropriately and not hurting others but for their own safety!
Yea maybe you shouldnt have shouted but I can't say I wouldn't have done the same. I'm not sure where this idea that age 2 is too young to be disciplined? Is there a specific age?! Seems bit odd. This child obviously needs some boundaries and quickly because this type of behaviour in general only gets worse it left. Hope ur little one was ok!

I find reporting the child to the Play Centre staff along with the behaviour usually does the trick!

No one is arguing that the child shouldn't have been disciplined, i.e. guided, it is the nature of that discipline that's being discussed. You don't shout at kids. That's not discipline, that's punishment.