My DD is 6 and in year one. She's been under a paediatrician for two years as I think, and her nursery thought, that she has autism. I thought sending her to school would aid diagnosis and get her some support but there's been no progress. Any problems in the first year were attributed to settling in. Then this year to a new class, then to her teacher changed, then her paediatrician was ill on the day of her last appointment so we saw a different one who then wanted to leave it six months for a review. It's taking forever, and in the meantime DD is unhappy and I hate to see her this way.
The difference in her during the almost three weeks of Easter holidays has really made me think that I should just home educate her. During the holidays, she'd get herself up and dressed. She'd go to the toilet by herself, ask for particular hairstyles, be polite and much more chatty than usual, she ate a lot better than usual and slept through at least half of the nights. There were probably only 3/4 meltdowns over the entire holidays.
Fast forward to this week and it couldn't be more different. I start trying to get her up at 7.30. I wake her then go off to do jobs so she isn't under pressure as she doesn't respond well to immediate demands. She groans and thrashes around and won't get out of bed. Eventually she starts screaming and crying that she doesn't want to go to school and I have to physically lift her out of bed. I try persuading her to get ready but she generally screams more. Occasionally she'll let me dress her but mostly not. She screams like she's being murdered throughout having her hair and teeth brushed that it hurts. I have to lift her to the toilet because she refuses to go. She won't eat breakfast. She's a bit better once out of the house as she likes scooting but still needs constant encouragement to keep going.
After school she usually wets herself on the way home because she won't use the toilets at school. She barely eats any lunch. She runs away from anyone who tries to talk to her at lunch break (her teacher sees this as being playful 
) and complains constantly about the noise. She usually has a meltdown within half hour of arriving home. She barely eats any tea and is withdrawn or else upset all evening. She struggles to settle to sleep and then is up at least three times a night screaming hysterically. She is like a different child.
She doesn't have any friends and doesn't want any. She is miles ahead academically and not being challenged. I don't think changing schools would help though - she'd hate the noise/toilets/expectations anywhere. I think she'd be happier at home by a mile, but am I doing her a disservice if I decide to home educate?
DP is on board but my DSIS says she'll never learn to be sociable without being thrown in the deep end and that she won't get diagnosed without school agreement so it'll limit the support she can access.
AIBU to just want her to happy and home educate on this basis?