Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want a ton of childhood photos of my DH?

52 replies

Dixie2016 · 20/04/2017 20:30

Pretty much every time I see MIL lately she has another set of childhood photos of my DH to give me. I feigned interest the first time but am finding it increasingly hard!
I don't have that much interest in them beyond looking at them when she hands them over. She insists I keep them.

DH isn't the sentimental type and only gives them a quick glance himself. I can't work out why she thinks I want them. A couple maybe but I have a drawer full now and they keep on coming. I feel like telling her that since he is her child and not mine she should want to keep them herself.

So as not to drip feed our marriage isn't exactly wonderful ( MIL well aware of this) and so the 'D' in front of H has very little cause for use. I don't know if things were better than I would be hugely enthralled by photographs of an 11 year old boy standing in front of a car, or a door or some other random place.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Dixie2016 · 20/04/2017 20:31

Also to add that I think she somehow sees it as my job to keep them to show our DC in years to come. I think DH can do this himself if he thinks it important?

OP posts:
Instasista · 20/04/2017 20:33

Nope! Yanbu my mil does this along with giving me all his school work schoool reports etc... just why

WateryTart · 20/04/2017 20:34

Just put them in a drawer and forget them. No point in making a fuss about nothing.

kateclarke · 20/04/2017 20:34

I would just give them to him and let him deal with them. Maybe keep a couple of good ones for the kids.

Violetcharlotte · 20/04/2017 20:36

I love old family photos, but appreciate not everyone does. You may find your children are really interested in them, especially as they get older. I love seeing photos of my parents and late grandparents, it's my family history.

elQuintoConyo · 20/04/2017 20:37

Stick them in a box marked 'mad frogs' and put it under the bed/in H's side of the wardrobe/in garage.

They belong to your husband, he can faff around with them.

WallisFrizz · 20/04/2017 20:39

She probably wants a clear out and is trying to make sure they are passed on/kept safely. She's hardly going to throw them away and definitely nobody else will want them.

Box them up and put them in the loft/garage/spare room/recycling bin.

Original poster
Dixie2016 · 20/04/2017 20:44

I love old family photos of my family. Just not so bothered about other people's.

OP posts:
Fragglez · 20/04/2017 20:45

My MIL has been doing this since DD was born (5m). It started with his hosp bracelet. Last time we went up and she tried to give us another one! And a luggage tag type thing with his birth details on it (wt/length/apgar etc) so i could 'compare' with DD's!?

Luckily DP stepped on and told her to hang on to it and keep it safe as we 'might be thinking about moving house' and wouldn't want to lose it.

She also asked what SVD stood for on delivery type. Never thought i would say vaginal to my MIL over a cup of tea.

Anyway - sorry about that! YANBU.

Original poster
Dixie2016 · 20/04/2017 20:47

Bizarre. Do you think it's because we are women and so we are supposed to be the ones to keep hold of all of this stuff?
I wonder if any men get given stuff from their wives childhoods and are expected to hold them dear?

OP posts:
ChaiTeaTaiChi · 20/04/2017 20:48

I love old family photos of my family. Just not so bothered about other people's

Don't you think your children might feel the same?

And if you don't see your husband as your family, I think your marriage is a LOT less than wonderful.

histinyhandsarefrozen · 20/04/2017 20:50

I love all that. I'd be delighted!

Original poster
Dixie2016 · 20/04/2017 20:52

Yes I'm sure my children may feel the same, but it's DH's job to keep hold of this stuff for them and not mine?

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 20/04/2017 20:56

I'd love it too.

LadyGlitterSparklesSeriously · 20/04/2017 20:57

Ahh but see, you're his mum now, and as such you are the gatekeeper of boring childhood photographs Grin

Buy her a photo album embossed with her name.

trixymalixy · 20/04/2017 20:58

Surely your DH is your family? Hmm

I love old family photos.

AntiGrinch · 20/04/2017 21:00

I think your dcs might like them. I love ancient photos of ancestors.
Put them in the loft. Or get your H to put them in the loft.

I can't bear this MIL-foisting-of-things though. I am separated from my ex which has slightly stemmed the flow but my dcs' birthdays are occasions of naff bulky tat.

Fragglez · 20/04/2017 21:02

In the case of my MIL i think it's a combo of me being female, and therefore in charge of emotional / sentimental things (even though dp is much more interested in them) and her being a serial 'giver'. She goes on holiday repeatedly to the same places and always buys 'i love Ireland' t shirts and bags with names of tourist attractions on for us... I find it really odd.

glueandstick · 20/04/2017 21:02

He's her child. She's probably proud and enjoying reliving memories. Bung in a box in the loft.

We'll be older ladies one day and probably revisit the past with great joy.

Asmoto · 20/04/2017 21:05

I like seeing childhood photos of my husband and his family but if you don't, YANBU at all - everyone is different - shove them in a box in the attic for posterity's sake and then if your DC are interested in later years, they're available, but you can otherwise forget about them.

phoenix1973 · 20/04/2017 21:05

I just put them in a box. It's interesting to see the likeness between Dh and DD.

Floggingmolly · 20/04/2017 21:08

Your kids will love them one day. Your DH (and MIL, come to that) are every bit as much their family as you are. Confused

gingercat02 · 20/04/2017 21:11

You DH can at least choose to keep them or not. My MIL has binned her entire life. She has about 20 photos of 78 years of life, more than 50 years of marriage, 2 DS and 3 GDC. I'm sad that we and their grandchildren won't have more physical stuff to remember them by (she has nothing else left! )

MissAustenTatious · 20/04/2017 21:14

There are fewer than 20 photos of my DH between the ages of 0 and 24 (when I met him) in existence in total.
I would love to have piles of photos to look at and compare with our DC as they grow up.
Quit moaning and put them in a box in the loft clearly labelled for when his children start to take an interest.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 20/04/2017 21:17

I wish we had any photos of my DH from before I met him. I've seen some when he was in the army because DBIL was in the same regiment, and has kept them. PIL are dead and DSIL took all the photo albums from their childhood. DH destroyed his wedding album when his ex left so doesn't have any from his first marriage. We also don't have any baby photos of DSS, the oldest are from when I moved in as I love taking photos.