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AIBU?

To not want a ton of childhood photos of my DH?

52 replies

Dixie2016 · 20/04/2017 20:30

Pretty much every time I see MIL lately she has another set of childhood photos of my DH to give me. I feigned interest the first time but am finding it increasingly hard!
I don't have that much interest in them beyond looking at them when she hands them over. She insists I keep them.

DH isn't the sentimental type and only gives them a quick glance himself. I can't work out why she thinks I want them. A couple maybe but I have a drawer full now and they keep on coming. I feel like telling her that since he is her child and not mine she should want to keep them herself.

So as not to drip feed our marriage isn't exactly wonderful ( MIL well aware of this) and so the 'D' in front of H has very little cause for use. I don't know if things were better than I would be hugely enthralled by photographs of an 11 year old boy standing in front of a car, or a door or some other random place.

AIBU?

OP posts:

Report

SquinkiesRule · 20/04/2017 21:17

Just stick them in a box in the top of a cupboard to keep.
I have a file box each for my kids with their armband/blanket/teddy and pictures in the attic. When we get really old and move somewhere small I'll send them home with each kid I hope their wives/husband doesn't think I'm sending home a load of tat.
I only have a few of my own things from childhood, and Dh only has three photos, I really wish I had more of him.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 20/04/2017 21:19

Scan them?

Dixie2016 · 20/04/2017 21:20

We don't have a loft to stuff them in.

And I never said that he or my MIL aren't my children's family 🤔. But his childhood mementoes are of no interest to me. So why am I expected to keep them safe and not him?

OP posts:

mathanxiety · 20/04/2017 21:20

Dixie2016 Thu 20-Apr-17 20:44:56
I love old family photos of my family. Just not so bothered about other people's

(1) They are photos of your children's family even if you don't consider them to be photos of yours.
(2) What ChaiTea said.

callmeadoctor · 20/04/2017 21:22

Oh goodness, I would give anything to have old pics of my family. Please please do keep them for your children, hell it doesn't matter if you keep them, they are your childrens family!!!!!

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 20/04/2017 21:26

There's about 5 photos of DH's childhood. I each of them someone is wearing a communion rosette. It would be nice if there was a decent quality picture so I could compare DS with DH.

Unless you're living in cramped conditions like a 1 bedroom flat where every cm² counts, accept politely then put aside in a safe place. It's part of your DH's and your children's history.

Dixie2016 · 20/04/2017 21:26

Relax I'm not going to get rid of them. I'm just having a moan!

OP posts:

llangennith · 20/04/2017 21:30

I hope your children are more interested in the family.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 20/04/2017 21:32

put them in albums and give them back to her for next Mothering Sunday.

EleanorRigbysNeice · 20/04/2017 21:38

There are only two photos of me, as a baby. Very few of me, as a child. I find my DS LOVES looking at family pics and, when I'm dead and gone, he can do what he wants with them.

YABU. They obviously mean the world to your MIL. Humour her. Be kind.

ChaiTeaTaiChi · 20/04/2017 21:38

Yes I'm sure my children may feel the same, but it's DH's job to keep hold of this stuff for them and not mine?

Isn't that a bit beside the point? When they ask you in the future will you tell them "I know you would have liked to see them but I was making a point, and that's much more important than what you'd like".

HumphreyCobblers · 20/04/2017 21:42

Pass them directly to your DH for him to deal with.

Counterpane · 20/04/2017 21:46

My aunt suddenly gave my cousin and his wife all the photos of him as a child.

It turned out she had a terminal illness that she didn't tell anyone about.

Harvey246 · 20/04/2017 21:49

YABU better you and your husband have them than her, he will want to show your kids and grandkids one day

helpmesusan · 20/04/2017 21:50

Sorry OP but I think you are being a but miserable.

Just take the pics and store them away. If you divorce, then your DH can have them if he wants them. If you don't, hopefully they will be nice for somebody to look at someday. I LOVE looking at pics of my parents and grandparents when they were young.

EleanorRigbysNeice · 20/04/2017 21:50

Counterpane I was going to suggest that possibly, the MIL was passing them in as a "housekeeping" exercise. My mum, who's elderly, has started doing this sort of thing.

helpmesusan · 20/04/2017 21:50

but = bit

helpmesusan · 20/04/2017 21:51

That said, my MIL has taken to giving us lots of crockery, books etc that she cannot face getting rid of, but doesn't want in her house any more.

Some are useful, some less so!

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 20/04/2017 21:55

put them in albums and give them back to her for next Mothering Sunday

As PP said put in box , label and put on your husbands side of the bed

Galdos · 20/04/2017 21:57

Unless throwing them out, do label them (or tell DH to). I'm going through old family photos going back to the late 19th century. Most are unlabelled; some are people I sort of recognise; some have a first name written on the back; some have a nickname which means nothing to me. Also, if you can, try and date the photos. When looking at old photos you don't need the exact date, or even the month, but the approximate year would be helpful.

I'm slightly loathe to throw out nice 1890s portraits of whiskered gentleman, or 1900s photos of smiling ladies in long dresses and bonnets, but which of my ancestors are they, or are they great great uncles/aunts? Before my parents died I went through these photos with each of them, on the basis that they would know better than I. Nope. A family resemblance can be seen, but no clue really as to whether grandparents when young, distant cousins...

Dixie2016 · 20/04/2017 22:02

I won't throw them out but making albums out of them or labelling them is way beyond the efforts I'm prepared to make.

I will put them in a box beside the sofa as that appears to be DH's bed these days.

OP posts:

Edna1969 · 20/04/2017 22:09

I'm envious I think we have 1 photo of DH as a child and 1 as a young man before I met him. Would love lots of pics and think MIL is odd not to have any!!!

Although I can understand how lots might also be difficult.

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KungFuEric · 20/04/2017 22:10

Honestly, the way you speak about your marriage seems deeply sad.

Dixie2016 · 20/04/2017 22:14

My husband is a massive knob. But that's a whole other thread.

OP posts:

AntiGrinch · 20/04/2017 22:25

is a massive knob? or has a massive knob? It matters.

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