DH and I are very good friends with another couple, we both grew up with the guy from primary school and he moved 3 hours away when he was 16 but we've stayed in touch since. We got married, he married a girl from where he is now and we both have young children, they're god parents to our eldest and vice versa, we've been on big holidays together, go away for weekends together ect (you get the picture) all was the same until last august we were all talking about booking a big Christmas holiday to the Caribbean. They are a lot better off than us financially but we try our best to keep up when they want to be a bit more extravagant (but do say no if we can't go) so went along looking for holidays with them. We told them from the start our budget was about half of what there's was and that I'm big on xmas so would fly any day Boxing Day or afterwards but didn't want to be gone for xmas day, time wise didn't matter to them so we agreed to try to find a happy medium. It took weeks of back and forthing when they came up with a holiday that was more there budget than ours and which also flew 3 days before Christmas and didn't get back until after the new year. DH said that Christmas was a deal breaker for me but he liked the hotel they found so would look for other dates and get back to them. I spoke to her 2 days later to arrange a day out meeting with the kids and I said we can finally get this holiday sorted as well and she was like oh... he's already booked ours? Did I not know? She was under the impression that when he spoke to my DH about the deal he found that he told him he was going to go with it but that's not how it was left our end. Anyway my DH got a bit peed off and said for me to make my excuses for the meet up as he was annoyed with them. We eventually met up child free a few weeks later for a night out just the 4 of us and there was no atmosphere or tension or anything, everything was fine but that's over 6 months ago and we haven't seen them since? Which is very unusual! I send her kids little gifts all the time, sent a big Halloween hamper as I felt bad I wouldn't see the girls to give them any sweets, sent valentines gifts and cards to the girls (which we usually do for each other's kids) but received nothing for my DCs, sent her youngest a birthday present, let her know it was on its way and when I checked to see had it got there she said oh yes we did receive a rocking horse a couple of days who but didn't know if it was from you or someone else who said they were sending something. I speak to her every other week at least and try to arrange a meet up but there's always an excuse. I spent £45 on an egg hamper for her kids at Easter and she sent a little egg each for mine. I'm not being ungrateful at all, if it had been that on its own I wouldn't have even noticed but with everything else it's stood out to me.
The only thing it could be other than the holiday is Christmas presents. They sent mine presents before they left but I haven't sent theirs yet as they're much too big and heavy to post (a big Costco doll house and all accessories for it) which is why I've been so desperately trying to arrange a meet up to give it to them! But I think it was the holiday that kicked it all off as normally we'd have met up loads before Christmas. I didn't get a birthday card which I always do, Yesterday was our anniversary and they always send flowers and a card and this time they didn't even send a text. Its not about what they're not sending, if they would agree to meet up it'd put my mind at rest that everything's okay but what's bothering me is that's right now it's all one sided. It's their anniversary in 2 weeks and normally I'd send flowers and a card but am I just making a fool of myself pushing myself on them when they're looking very disinterested in us? But then I don't want to seem petty for not doing what I'd normally do in case there's other reasons for their distancing themselves from us? I'm upset about it as they are our closest friends and DH is getting more annoyed with them and telling me not to bother but I'm not like that? What should I do? I don't want to out and ask them if there's a problem as I know they'll say no regardless? AIBU to be thinking like this?