my sons girlfriend lives with us how much rent should I charge?

[dawnesmith1]

My DS2 gf is 19 and has lived with us for about a year. My DS2 pays nothing as he does not think he should and refuses to but buys his own food. Gf currently pays £40 per month and buys her own food.Is it unreasonable to ask for more? I also have a DD who is 16 so pays nothing and a DS who is 22 and on minimal benefits due to ill health who pays nothing but cleans once a week and does gardening and other jobs to pay his way, he also buys his own food. DS2 and GF do hardly anything to help around the house and do not contribute to items such as toilet roll/shower gel/clothes washing soap etc

Dimples - I'm so sorry you're in that situation. My MIL was in a similar situation with my BIL, and found it very hard to do what was needed - your position is worse though because you HAVE done what was needed and it hasn't worked for you, don't know why the police have been so shite with you, that's really bad!

Strongly recommend you try and get in touch with the DV unit - you ARE being abused, even if you're not being physically bashed - but also DO change the locks. If he then breaks the door down, you have your proof of physical violence and hopefully it will do the job and the police will help you.

In MIL's case, she kept refusing to have the police called on BIL because it would harm his chances of getting work and fucking off again - but he didn't want to work, he was quite happy to stay at hers sponging off her, so that didn't work well for her.
In the end, his drunken rows with neighbours did the trick - they called the police and he was removed, and an exclusion order placed on him. He's been on a good behaviour bond and ended up doing jail time because he broke it - but at least he's not living with her any more.

Or you could try what the other mum on this thread did - sell up and move far away.

I was charged rent my parents, I got savvy with money and developed a business sense which made me a business woman. If you can afford to not charge rent then you can put any rent received into a nest egg for a son or daughter which could be given back later on

Your son needs to pay digs too. Are they working? If so, I'd be looking for £200 a month from each of them. Honestly, almost 20 years ago at a similar age I was paying £250 a month digs

Am I alone in being bored of threads where the OP never comes back to answer any of the very sensible questions or points made? There was another one yesterday.

OP, where are you? If you are working consider starting threads when you are free to reply?

No Matilda, this drives me mad too, you are not alone in your frustration.

Tbf, the OP might be busy.

I woulf tell them that they both need to pay £xx (reasonable room rate in your area) or find somewhere to rent privately. It is not your son (or his girlfriend's decision) what they pay. You should also draw up a rota for housework etc or else increase what you charge them to cover a cleaner.

Is ds2 jealous of ds1 and not understanding of his illness . So he sees him not paying and wants to be the same?

upperlimit lol

I think youre being unreasonable to think your children can't pay their way.

Regardless, full time education or not, you'd still have to pay rent! It's not free to house someone and pay their bills.

Why is he special? Why are you accepting money from his partner and not him??? So it costs to keep her warm and clean but not your son?

As soon as I left school I paid board. When I was in college I paid my way, as soon as I had an income. I could understand if they were In uni to be a vet or doctor and couldn't fit a job in, but they have maintenance loans for that!

You're being screwed over. Tell them all to pay or no one pays.

My parents charged me and partner £80 a month, as we were saving up for a house and on a low wage. When my partner moved out (to his dad's) for a job, I continued to pay this amount by myself, as I had an increased wage, but was still saving. I now own a house with my partner.

If I hadn't been saving, they would have charged me a larger percentage of my wage. Get your son paying his way too!

Hi I currently stay with my partner and his mums house I get paid every 2 weeks , when payday I pay her £60 which is £120 per month to stay there , sometimes she expects more ? I think this is a lot I don’t eat that much food and I bathe and do my laundry at home ? How much should I give her ?