Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask about breastfeeding

48 replies

summerskittles91 · 18/04/2017 16:26

I have a 13 day old baby, she was 5lb1oz when born. She went down to 4lb13oz and is due to be weighed again tomorrow.

I live with extended family and I'm fed up of being told I feed the baby too often. She will go 3 hours if she's in a deep sleep nap but other than that she can feed every 30 minutes sometimes but most likely feed every hour. Mil is making me feel like a failure and it's really getting me down. Is it normal for baby to feed so often.. I'm going to have a proper chat with health visitor tomorrow. She's doing at least a wee nappy after most feeds and plenty of dirty nappies too. It's getting me down that mil is so opinionated I wish she would just leave me alone 😟

OP posts:
FurryElephant · 18/04/2017 16:31

Absolutely normal! For a breastfed baby going 2 hours is a good stretch in my experience Grinsometimes they'll feed absolutely constantly, it's digested in around 45 minutes so is so normal for them to feed very regularly! Tell her to bugger off and mind her own business Smilesounds like you're both doing great!

Nomoreworkathome · 18/04/2017 16:33

Oh christ, mine would feed every sodding hour for a while. Totally normal. Ignore ignore ignore Smile

user1489191869 · 18/04/2017 16:33

Yes it's normal but it doesn't last forever, as your baby's tummy grows they will be able to take more milk and last longer between feeds. My MW and HV told me it's impossible to overfeed a breastfed baby so just enjoy lots of cuddles when feeding

CesareBorgiasUnicornMask · 18/04/2017 16:35

It's completely normal OP - baby is trying to build your supply up as it responds to demand. If she carries on losing weight that may be an indicator of a problem like tongue tie that's preventing her from taking in enough milk, but as I'm sure you know a small weight drop is normal. Hope your HV is supportive - maybe see if she can signpost you towards a local breastfeeding support group you could go to? It makes such a difference to speak to other people in the same boat!

And re your MIL are you able to tell her that she's upsetting you? Or ask her if she could redirect her energy/ concern for the baby towards something useful, like taking her for a stroll in the pram while you have a nap or a bath? If not, could your partner ask her to zip it for now? Establishing breastfeeding is absolutely hard enough without unsupportive comments! My DS is nearly 3 now and I still look back in horror on those first few weeks of absolute constant feeding - sooo stressful on its own without people being unhelpful, and I had all the same sort of comments from my Mum and MIL and it drove me demented. We got through it though! Now looking forward Hmm to doing it all again with number 2 this summer...

Flowers and Cake for you!

NanooCov · 18/04/2017 16:37

Yes it's completely normal, particularly at two weeks old when they appear to do nothing but feed and poop! You're doing a great job - keep it up and don't let the annoying nay-sayers grind you down x

SweepTheHalls · 18/04/2017 16:37

No such thing as feeding a bf baby too often. Get snacks, drinks and a box set by the sofa, and settle in. Flowers

TipBoov · 18/04/2017 16:39

Normal! Ignore when anyone sticks their beak in, and keep feeding. It will settle down, baby just needs to build your supply.

ChocolateChipMuffin2016 · 18/04/2017 16:40

My baby is 5 months and still feeds every 2 hours most of the time (though more at night thankfully!). It's totally normal to be feeding constantly when they're that small, it'll get better but you are 100% doing the right thing.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 18/04/2017 16:40

Completely and totally normal, as evidence of the nappies.

I take it MIL never breastfed?

StrongerThanIThought76 · 18/04/2017 16:40

Normal!

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 18/04/2017 16:42

Feeding frequently is normal and healthy. She will start going longer stretches as she gets quicker at feeding and your milk supply increases. Then she will have periods when she feeds like a newborn again as she has growth spurts or developmental leaps. Make the most of this time when your only "job" is to feed your baby all day - box sets, sofa, lots of snacks, drink plenty of fluids. I was a bit sad when my second baby sped up as I had to start doing things more!

The Kellymom website is great for information about what is normal in breastfeeding.
There are some Facebook groups eg breastfeeding yummy mummies where you can get support from other mums.
Health Visitors vary in how much they know about breastfeeding - I've seen some who are spot on and others who are out of date. If you have concerns about your baby's weight when your HV checks and aren't confident with her advice, ask how you can see a Lactation consultant (breastfeeding expert) to get some more detailed advice.

CasperGutman · 18/04/2017 16:45

Completely normal.

Unfortunately many people have a very limited understanding of breastfeeding and how it works. You may find the time between feeds gradually increases as your baby gets older.

My son basically fed every two hours until he was six months. And I mean two hours from starting one feed to starting the next - so maybe only an hour or so between finishing one and starting the next! Long car journeys required careful planning to ensure there were enough places to stop....

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 18/04/2017 16:49

She's tiny, feed her as much as you can. When she's a strapping big 5 month old, she might have cut down the frequency of feeds, but for now give her as much as she wants/will take.

primaryboodle · 18/04/2017 16:51

Almost my exact experience except i never got a 3 hour break ever! Your doing fine, mil can piss off :)

MrEBear · 18/04/2017 16:53

Normal.
My DS1 fed every 2 hours up to 6 months. DS2 is 4 months goes 3/4 hours or longer but will then want a 3 course meal! I.e. Feed finish then want more 15 minutes later.

The first 6 weeks breastfeeding is hard going but if you get there it will get easier.

CassandraAusten · 18/04/2017 16:57

MIL is probably of the generation when they were told to get the baby into a 4-hour routine as early as possible. It's hard for them to understand that the advice has changed.

TheMummyDider · 18/04/2017 17:01

You're deep in the cluster feeding days here and feeding constantly is a good sign. She needs to get the supply up and only then will she settle for longer. Also her tummy is so tiny and her milk is digested so fast that she will be hungry quickly.

Keep going you're doing a wonderful job.

Camomila · 18/04/2017 17:05

Sounds normal to me. DS usually fed every 2 hours in the day till he started weaning.

Do you feel confident enough to tell MIL that spacing out feeds isn't usually recommended anymore and HV/drs etc want you to feed on demand.

PastysPrincess · 18/04/2017 17:07

Sounds very normal to me. I used to get the "oh is he feeding AGAIN" with an eye roll.

Tell MiL to get knotted.

TupperwareTat · 18/04/2017 17:10

It sounds perfect. Congratulations on DD Flowers

Give mil one of these from us all - Hmm

Rainydayspending · 18/04/2017 17:14

All three of mine were convinced I had three boobs! They'd feed. Both sides. Five minutes later they were after more Grin. Totally normal and sounds like it's going well! Brew just "yeah, i could kill a cuppa, be a love" and she might start leaving you to it.

Brokejoke · 18/04/2017 17:17

Yes completely normal but unfortunately it isn't well understood. I found Kellymom and Analytical Armadillo to be very useful resources when I wasn't sure on something breastfeeding related. And mumsnet of course.

Cornettoninja · 18/04/2017 17:17

To repeat everyone else - perfectly normal (although arse numbing for you - hope you've got Netflix!). I was told to think of it as the baby putting an order in for the milk they need the next day and they're growing fast! Oats and fennel tea can help increase your supply if you're concerned (have a google for other suggestions)

You're doing great, your mil is from a different generation and advice has changed a lot if I'm correctly presuming her age at around 50/60.

Congratulations FlowersEaster Smile

Crumbs1 · 18/04/2017 17:17

Mine varied but my son fed continuously if he could. Certainly every hour for about twenty minutes in first few weeks.
It's also normal for them to lose a bit of weight in first couple of weeks.
Sounds like your doing a brilliant job. Your baby is small so will tire easily and need little and often until a bit bigger and your milk supply is fully established. The more you feed now, the easier it gets.

harderandharder2breathe · 18/04/2017 17:17

She's so young, feed her as much and as often as she needs. She's not a seven year old mithering for biscuits as your mil seems to think, she's a newborn baby who has a tiny stomach and needs feeding frequently.