To ask about breastfeeding

[summerskittles91]

I have a 13 day old baby, she was 5lb1oz when born. She went down to 4lb13oz and is due to be weighed again tomorrow.

I live with extended family and I'm fed up of being told I feed the baby too often. She will go 3 hours if she's in a deep sleep nap but other than that she can feed every 30 minutes sometimes but most likely feed every hour. Mil is making me feel like a failure and it's really getting me down. Is it normal for baby to feed so often.. I'm going to have a proper chat with health visitor tomorrow. She's doing at least a wee nappy after most feeds and plenty of dirty nappies too. It's getting me down that mil is so opinionated I wish she would just leave me alone 😟

Normal. Keep at it. Let the babe feed as much as she wants, as often as she wants.
(But remember you are allowed to eat, shower and use the toilet')
This is when your milk supply is established.)

Totally normal. And sending sympathy. My mum was the same and it's so frustrating to be constantly belittled.

Ooh, but remember to feed for a long time on one breath before switching to the other. The thicker creamier more filling milk doesn't arrive until about 10 mins iirc.

I had one that size and the worry was that she was not feeding! She was in SCBU with tubes.

You are doing really well if she wants to latch on and feed. And it is obviously getting through. KOKO and hope your health visitor has positive news for your tomorrow.

*breast not breath.

Not just 'normal' but great. She's building up your supply.

There's no need to worry about how long you feed at each breast if you're feeding on demand. Just let her feed until she stops on her own, or she's dozing and not sucking very much. You can then offer the other breast and see if she wants any more. If not, then start with that side next time.

Completely normal

It felt like ds fed every 30 seconds for the first four months!

I had a fantastic hv and me who had fed themselves and reassured me it was very normal, and the baby was building up a solid milk supply by feeefubg regularly.

Be is not supposed to be on a schedule.

There is a leaflet designed for grandparents. Google grandparents guide to breastfeeding and ask her to read it.

Then only discuss BF further when you seek support!

Totally normal. DD is 4 months old, admittedly having a growth spurt, but has literally fed every hour today.

Also your baby lost minimal weight (it's normal to lose up to 12% by 3-5 days old), so you are definitely not a failure. It sounds as if you've been one of those rare and phenomenally fortunate women with a baby that feeds well from only a few days old. Well done!

I also get the "She can't be hungry again can she?!" comments. It's hard when you're feeling tired and have the very normal new parent worries about feeding and wanting to do the best for your baby.

The thing to remember though is that MIL will come from a generation not accustomed to breastfeeding and very accustomed to putting babies on 3-4 hour feeding schedules, putting babies to sleep on their fronts, in a different room to mum etc. The UK has some of (possibly the) lowest breastfeeding rates in the world. Formula feeding is hugely entrenched in our culture and even more so in our parents'. That's not a criticism of FF or of parents from a different generation. If anything it's an acknowledgment that our parents' generation were doing the best that they could, but times and knowledge of infant feeding/sleeping etc change. Your MIL needs to respect this.

I was going to suggest you asked DH to have a word, but on reflection I think you should be the one to say something. Be a tiger mother, make a stand, look her in the eye and say to her "I get the feeling you think I'm doing something wrong with the feeding?...You don't?/You think so?... Because I know she's a really healthy weight and the Health Visitor is really pleased with her progress.".

You won't be questioning her experience, but you will be drawing a clear line on who decides what's best for your baby.

Congratulations on your new baby. BF is both wonderful and difficult in equal measure. What you're describing is completely normal for such a wee baby. Keep feeding on demand and she'll slow down eventually, her stomach is tiny atm. Try to be strong with your MIL I know it's hard when you're tired, emotional/hormonal and a first time mum.
Things seemed to get easier from about 6 weeks for us.

Think about it this way- when she was in the womb you nourished her continually. Now she is progressing to take a break sometimes between feeds. As other posters have said she is learning to feed, building up your milk supply and everything is still settling down. She's too little to go long between feeds. Feed as often as you can for a few weeks, then once she is gaining weight steadily and your milk supply is ample you can think about a day/night routine. At which point she will hit a growth spurt and feed continually again for a bit. Your MiL can help by doing housework, fetching you a drink and a snack and shutting up!

Your daughter is tiny. She needs to feed this frequently because her little stomach can't hold very much. Your MIL probably had big strapping babies who had bigger stomachs and could go longer between feeds.

DD was small as well, and my midwife told me to feed her at least 8 times a day, an never let more than three hours go between feeds.

And congratulations on the birth of your baby

Perfectly normal. Until I had DD I didn't realise how often babies fed especially BF babies.
It does settle down but baby is building your supply up as well as the fact her tummy is tiny so needs feeding little and often.
I found my local breastfeeding support group gave me a confidence boost around what is normal as well as useful advice and support both from the BF support workers and other mums.

They are so variable with feeding. Only advice I would give is make sure they are in the boob long enough to get hind milk. I often had to pop mine down to wake up a bit and put back on the boob

Thank you all, don't know what I'd do without Mumsnet tbh! You're all amazing at making me feel better, mils attitude is changing a little bit. Health visitor coming tomorrow going to make sure mil is in the room when I ask the questions re feeding. Just said to mil she's weeing after each feed and she goes well she's got to digest her milk somehow, and in my head I was thinking well well that's what I've been saying for the past 3 days! And then she goes oh I must have forgotten what's it's like. She also formula fed both her kids 30 and 26 years ago..

Thanks again.

Yes, definitely a good idea to have MIL with you when the health visitor is there.

My little lad fed what felt like nearly constantly for the first few months. I remember nearly breaking down after he'd been feeding for 13 hours, with only the odd 20-40 minute break (which would require a nappy change!)

My mom was worried that I was simultaneously feeding him too often and starving him!

Perfectly normal..I spent most of the estate few weeks just constantly feeding!
You are doing great keep at it (It does get easier!)
Just ignore the negative comments! Like PPS have said the advice your MIL got when she had kids is outdated..Just smile and nod and do it your way!

Totally normal! They're putting their order in for the first few weeks, it's incessant!

Totally normal at this stage - this too shall pass. Tell your MIL to butt out.

Actually, I just have to say that the advice given when your MIL was a new mum almost certainly was NOT very different to current advice. I'm in my mid fifties, and a new grandmother, and the advice I was given when I had my babies was to feed on demand. My dcs fed every 2 hours max (and often constantly!), and my daughter is now having that same experience!

I think there is a tendency on here to see grandmothers as coming from some ancient mythical era when everyone formula fed on a 4 hour schedule and weaned as soon as possible. That's just not so. My generation knew enough to breast feed on demand and put off weaning till the baby could sit up well and digest solids. This is the 1990s I'm talking about.

MY mother otoh formula fed on a schedule and spent most of her time undermining my breastfeeding efforts!

Anyway, to the OP - you're doing a great job! Keep going.

Yes it's normal. People just don't understand breast feeding.

I really feel for you OP, I had something similar recently but nitvtk that extent. Just stay quiet and feed your baby until it gets worse and then tell them to fuck off.