To not want PIL to buy us a v expensive house

[sashimiandsake]

Sorry this is long, don't want to drip feed! Also NC bc of financial info... DP and I are 24 and 23 - we were each other’s first BF/GF when we were 15 to 17 and a year ago we got back together when he moved to London for work (I've been living here since 18 for uni). We've known since we got back together that we would get married someday, but we didn’t think it would be this soon… however, he is European, and we decided to safeguard our future against Brexit. Our wedding is next year, and DP's family are paying for almost everything as they are really quite wealthy and insisted on helping!

Atm we live together in SW London in a lovely Victorian house, sharing with four friends, and we have a healthy savings account due to this, some inheritance and the fact we have reasonable jobs. But now we're getting married we feel we need to leave our houseshare days behind! Our options are:

1. PIL have reached out to our landlord and they would be open to selling to us. Valuations put it at around £1.1 million (eeeeek, crazy money). We'd then use our savings to renovate it as there's a few problems our landlord hasn't dealt with. I ADORE the house and I've lived here for four years so it really feels like home... but it's SO MUCH MONEY to accept from them. We've also never had any handouts from them before.... and now a wedding AND a house in less than a year? My side of the family and friends think I am being ridiculous not to immediately accept. However, I am also a bit worried DP's family would use it to try and control us, as they have form for using money to do so with his two sisters. We've assumed the house would be in our names not theirs but I've realised typing this it's not been clarified...

1. My DF and I own a rental house together in East London (future crossrail area) that we bought from the sale of my DGM's house three years ago. DF has asked if we're sure we don't want to live in it and I could buy him out of his half over time. I don't like the area and wouldn't feel totally happy letting my Dcat out there (I realise I sound mental ). But the house itself is nice and the area is gentrifying.

1. Sell the East London house and buy a flat with a mortgage in our area in SW London (DF happy with selling)

1. Leave London altogether. I grew up in the East Midlands and it's how DP and I met as my DM and his older DSis live in the same village (where we're getting married next year). We could get a little cottage in the village with our savings and have a teeny mortgage. SIL is due her first baby in July so we’d be close for future DN. However, I don't have a driving licence and I felt very isolated most of the time growing up there even though I love visiting now. DP could relocate his job but I'd have to give mine up. But then I could try and start my own interiors business like I've always dreamed of... I'd also still have the East London house (with DF of course!)

AIBU to even consider options 2-4?

Option 4 and learn to drive! Easy.

So my mum bought me a house. DH is not an owner of it and we have a prenup and postnup that says he has no entitlement to it. He has never put a penny into the upkeep of it. He pays 50% of the utility bills and Council tax. As far as I'm concerned he has no right to my house.

If I was your DP's parents I would only be putting the house in his name. I would also be asking you to sign a pre and post nup that you have no entitlement to the house. While I want the best for my children, I would make sure no partner of their's could take their inheritance in a divorce.