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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse freecyclers because they don't say please?

135 replies

PuffinNose · 17/04/2017 11:46

That really.
I've put a few offers on there. Nothing hugely exciting. I said on the ads that I'll pick a name tomorrow.
Husband thinks I'm being OTT by automatically deleting the replies that just say "I'll have this" or "put me in the hat" etc., in other words, no please or thank you.
My personal favourite so far, who husband agrees will be deleted is "I will collect this 2day. Give me ur addy. I 2 busey 2 wait. I will collect them al. Carl".
I'm not being unreasonable to expect a few manners when I'm going out of my way to pass on some stuff I could easily sell, am I?
I feel sad that my first AIBU is so boring!

OP posts:
DevelopingDetritus · 17/04/2017 13:56

I once gave something away, can't remember what now, it was around Halloween and the lady that collected the item from my doorstep left a nice pumpkin in it's place, I thought that was so lovely.

FrancisCrawford · 17/04/2017 13:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BalloonSlayer · 17/04/2017 14:03

I put two push chairs on Freecycle once at the same time. It was amazing that some people were absolutely desperate, DESPERATE I tell you! for a push chair, yet only asked for one of them (the more desirable one). Hmm

Gave away my late Dad's old telly with trepidation, as I knew the usual Freecyle responses would probably upset me. But the guy who asked for it wanted it for his children's playroom, he was thrilled with it and he emailed me the next day to tell me how delighted they were and to thank me again. Awww!

Areyoulocal · 17/04/2017 14:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Applebite · 17/04/2017 14:05

Yep - bollocks to the "nobody is giving away stuff that's worth ££" posts. When we ran out of room, I freecycled:

50" flat screen tv
Boxing tube and gloves, unused
Chico next to me
Isofix car seat and group 1 seat
Brand new video monitor
Clothes
jumperoo
And a massive collection of perfume and body lotions

Because we are v fortunate and in some cases, e.g. the car seat, we had been bought a spare. So I wanted to share that. I picked the emails that sounded nice and genuine.

Some of the stuff generated literally hundreds of emails (we're in central London so it's a busy group) and I would say about 60% of them were rude or clearly wanting to resell. Which still leaves a lot of genuine people. The lady who took the Chico crib was particularly lovely and I still email her with things DD has grown out of.

So YANBU - it's not first come first served, it's come politely or don't get served at all!

TheReefer · 17/04/2017 14:06

FrancisCrawford

If I said you were behaving like an idiot, but didn't call you an idiot, would that be OK?

Despite the previous, I am not calling you an idiot, but just make a point with this - that we can call other peoples behaviour but it isn't the same as directing it as them - as per your very interesting point

LaContessaDiPlump · 17/04/2017 14:09

Anyone who says this makes me get excited in my grammar knickers

Stopped reading mid-thread in order to proclaim that I love this!! Smile

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 17/04/2017 14:16

well I think politeness matters and will always send a nice polite email, with a request, if the item has not already gone, and a little bit about what I will do with the item

I have in my house, a leather chesterfield, a parker knoll bed settee and matching chair, a cream leather recliner/footstool combo, a vintage 30's bed settee, a leather bucket type sofa, a king size double cream metal bedstead, a very heavy pine coffee table....and there's more I am sure I have forgotten.

I have also given away high value items, house phones/mobiles and kitchen appliances, a piano and no end of gardening/shed/garage type stuff....have a similar policy to PPs in that it must be a "real person" type email, and none of your text speak.

I tend to use the local facebay these days....ours will allow "free to collect" items.

So I say politeness pays!

Chloe84 · 17/04/2017 14:36

*LaContessa' i read it as 'makes me get excited in my grandma knickers'!

ArcheryAnnie · 17/04/2017 14:36

YANBU.

If it's a popular item,. I will leave it a few hours, maybe even a day, and pick one of the polite ones.

Reasons for emails being put to the bottom of the offered list inc:

  • People who ask for everything you ever post, whatever it is. They must be flogging the stuff on, which is up to them, but not IMO in the spirit of freecycle.
  • People who grandly say "I will take it off your hands" like they are doing you a lordly favour.
  • People who hassle repeatedly.
  • People who want you to deliver to them.
  • People who don't say please, just issue instructions.

On the other hand, I've met some really lovely people, and as well as putting a ton of my own stuff on freecycle, I've collected a couple of really lovely things, too. (I have a piece of furniture I LOVE from freecycle, and I was so pleased to be offered it, I took them a bottle of wine when I went to collect it.)

Chloe84 · 17/04/2017 14:39

I wish people would also say how the demanding donees reacted to being told they can't have the item delivered, etc. I love entitled people being refused.

SoupDragon · 17/04/2017 14:49

The most pent up poster I can see on this thread is TheReefer!

SealSong · 17/04/2017 15:03

There are too many annoying and rude Freecyclers, but I have had some lovely ones.......one time I had a load of vintage glassware (little dishes etc) to give away, and chose to give it to a young woman who was getting married on a shoestring budget, she wanted the glassware to put tealights in on the tables, and sent me a photo of the tables dressed with the glassware, it was lovely.

Scrumptiousbears · 17/04/2017 15:15

I also ignore the emotional blackmail replies which are massively exaggerated, and remember the ones that never turn up. One strike and you're out!

Terfinator · 17/04/2017 15:32

Wanted:

Jus moved in area, need few things:

Washer
Soffas (lether only)
Bids

If uv got nething els let me know (no crap tho)

ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 17/04/2017 15:43

But lets not dress it up to be something it isn't, no one is giving away something worth much ££ - well unless they are stark mad

I agree this is nonsense. I've given away a king size bed, triple wardrobe, loads of kids' clothes and shoes, and lots of other stuff.

I've received studio flashes worth hundreds and other valuable stuff.

Applebite · 17/04/2017 15:52

I'm not sure what the Reefer is smoking Wink

RyanSarah2010 · 17/04/2017 16:32

Example
Person: Anyone got a three peace suite they don't want?
Me: yes I have
Person: can I have it? Can you deliver?

No please, thank you and she wants it delivered😂😂

LaContessaDiPlump · 17/04/2017 16:56

Chloe84 my grammar knickers may double as my grandma knickers - I am versatile in the underwear department Wink Grin

AnneElliott · 17/04/2017 17:20

I agree with you op. I put in my ad that only polite emails are answered- and I don't think that "I'll take it" meets my definition of polite!

I also delete emails from those people that ask for everything, and also the guy that told me my postcode was wrong Hmm. Apparently his sat nav is infallible! And therefore my postcode doesn't actually exist.

MargotMoon · 17/04/2017 17:22

YADNBU

Also not BU to do the name in a hat thing. Not everyone is online all the time, it's a fairer method to allow a day for everyone who might want it to ask, unless you need rid quickly of course. Plus I suspect that some people make money from picking up stuff free and selling it on eBay or gumtree and I feel that those who reply instantly are more likely to be those types

PurpleMinionMummy · 17/04/2017 17:37

Yanbu. I used to offer to the first person to use their manners!

SistersOfPercy · 17/04/2017 17:43

I got banned from our Freecycle group Grin

There was a guy who was apparently an 'elderly gent' who had retired and liked to tinker in his shed with old watches. He was always asking for them and the sob story he gave about being retired and bored ensured he got them.
Imagine my surprise when I found him on eBay, selling job lots of watches he'd been given. He wasn't tinkering he was dealing and turning over several hundred a month. I posted my own wanted, for some honesty and got banned Grin

I have a 'friend' who always posts on the FB free sites asking for anything and everything. She'll ring round friends and relatives as well so you'll often see an offer post with ten replies and eight are from her and her friends. Never did sit well with me.

PossumInAPearTree · 17/04/2017 17:50

Someòne went crazy on mine and tried to get me banned because I didn't give my item to them but to the second person. Majorly personal attack about how nasty I was....think they got banned in the end!

PyongyangKipperbang · 17/04/2017 17:55

I have a 'friend' who always posts on the FB free sites asking for anything and everything

My cousin does this , I am sick of her begging. She posted a while back asking for a crate, a harness and various other things for her new dog. She got a very vicious reply telling her that if she couldnt afford those things then how was she going to afford pet insurance and vet bills, and that she shouldnt have got the dog. I completely agreed! She posted asking for a smart phone, lapt top, leather sofa....you name it.

I am not against someone asking for one item on the off chance, but she is on there every few days asking for yet another big ticket item.

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