Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is my mum unreasonable?

85 replies

user1492374848 · 16/04/2017 21:37

I live at home with my mum, dad and siblings. I'm 24 years old and have recently started dating a guy. I'm going to spend the night with him next week and I told my parents tonight - they have freaked out completely. am I being unreasonable in thinking that it's ok for me to do this??

OP posts:
sunshinesupermum · 16/04/2017 21:39

You are not being unreasonable at all. Why are they freaking out? You're 24!

TimeforANewTwatName · 16/04/2017 21:39

Urrhh that's weird. Telling your parents about your sex life.

Wolfiefan · 16/04/2017 21:39

You're 24. So an adult. You can have sex. But how recently is recently?

ChasedByBees · 16/04/2017 21:39

Yes but your parents probably don't want to hear the details.

Original poster
user1492374848 · 16/04/2017 21:39

They're not happy because they've not met him :(

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 16/04/2017 21:40

Why did you tell them? Confused

PortiaCastis · 16/04/2017 21:40

Why tell your Mum you're going to have a shag ?

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 16/04/2017 21:40

Depends if you meant in their home. .
Some parents are Shockabout that sort of thing happening under their roof!!
Especially if you have younger siblings!!
If you mean at his house then tell them to chill!!

Original poster
user1492374848 · 16/04/2017 21:41

I've not told them about my sex life - I've told them I'm going to be away so not to worry about me, i very rarely spend the night away from home so I've told them I'm going to be away. I've been seeing him for 3 weeks. He lives an hour away and works long hours so rarely can see him, making most of 2 days off

OP posts:
AnnieAnoniMouse · 16/04/2017 21:41

Twenty fucking four. FGS. They don't need to meet him.

Why, oh why, did you tell them so far in advance?

Leave home. Get your independence!

sailorcherries · 16/04/2017 21:41

You are 24. You don't need their permission to sleep over with someone, but you do need to double check with them before bringing anyone in to their home and respect their boundaries.

gamerchick · 16/04/2017 21:42

Why tell them, it's weird! Confused you don't have a curfew or anything do you?

Out2pasture · 16/04/2017 21:43

are there issues with your competency?
it might be nice for your parents to meet the young man, have him over for dinner and know where he lives.
should you not return they would look foolish telling the police that they have no clue.

Original poster
user1492374848 · 16/04/2017 21:43

To top it off - I'm not even going to be having sex with him!! I've told him we're taking it slow and he's ok with that

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 16/04/2017 21:44

Are they worried as you have only known him a very short time and they are worried for your safety? When I met DH I remember my mum asking if I would meet him at the place we had our first date and not go in his car. Just in case!
24. Live at home. Rarely spend the night away. Time to cut the apron strings?

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 16/04/2017 21:44

I had 4 dc at 24!!

Original poster
user1492374848 · 16/04/2017 21:45

I absolutely agree I need to leave home but it's very hard when you've not got a lot of money!!

OP posts:
harderandharder2breathe · 16/04/2017 21:46

They're probably assuming you will be having sex.

The way to get your independence is to leave home.

Nanny0gg · 16/04/2017 21:48

It is only courtesy for the OP to warn her parents that she won't be home.

However, that should be the end of it.

Instasista · 16/04/2017 21:49

What do you mean by freaking out? Shouting at you? Banning you from going?

lazyarse123 · 16/04/2017 21:50

Tell them you are an adult and you are just letting them know your plans so they won't worry (not that you need to do this). My 27 yr old daughter came back home after splitting with her long term boyfriend, she got another one after about 4months and he has slept here with her. It is a very uncomfortable and odd feeling but she is an adult and she does not flaunt it so we live with it. She would move out if she could afford it.

TimeforANewTwatName · 16/04/2017 21:50

It is only courtesy for the OP to warn her parents that she won't be home

Three weeks in advance? Shock

Original poster
user1492374848 · 16/04/2017 21:51

It's only one week in advance - not even that, it's Wednesday evening in staying over :)

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 16/04/2017 21:51

I think you need to talk to your parents about house rules and boundaries while you're living there.

Are you paying rent?

Moussemoose · 16/04/2017 21:51

You need to get on the Victorian mumset thread. Verily.