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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for some support regarding cold turkey with dummies!!!!

45 replies

Germansausage88 · 16/04/2017 20:02

DD is 3 but very mature 3 year old. She still has a dummy. Totally my fault for leaving her with it this long, I had a dummy myself till I was 10!! I missed out a lot because I couldn't go to sleepovers, had embarrassing moments where my friends found it under my pillow etc. So I've decided it's time for DD to give it up.

I tried the whole cutting it down method but it didn't work - she would still whinge for it when she was tired and always ask for it before bed. I tried the dummy fairy - she wasn't having any of it even though I persevered with stories, YouTube videos etc.

So I've decided to go cold turkey with her yesterday. Last night she had a god almighty tantrum which lasted about an hour and eventually wore herself from screaming and fell asleep. Woke up this morning feeling proud of herself, hasn't asked for it all day but tonight again we've had a tantrum - she's still up there screaming now. I'm crying down here and I'm buckling.

Please someone tell me what to do!!! AIBU to make her go cold turkey???

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 16/04/2017 20:05

Yanbu. Both mine cried for a couple of days without theirs, then forgot about them. Hang in there.

Whatsername17 · 16/04/2017 20:06

We sent dd's to santa to give to all of the new babies. She put them in an envelope and mailed them (to my work). When we got home there was a gift left for her on the side - a teddy and some sweets. That night she took the teddy to bed. She sobbed and I reminded her that the dummies were for the new babies and she hugged her teddy. We had lots of cuddles. After a few days she forgot all about them.

BendingSpoons · 16/04/2017 20:07

I have heard (no first hand experience) that children will generally fret for a dummy for 48 hours. Don't change your mind now, you have done the worst of it hopefully and if you give in she will learn if she screams enough she gets it!

BubbleBed · 16/04/2017 20:07

I was always told it takes three days to break a habit, and it's always rung true. So keep firm, it will pass. Does she have a comforter? Like a teddy or something?

Whatsername17 · 16/04/2017 20:08

Don't buckle! Just cuddle.

00100001 · 16/04/2017 20:10

Stick with it!!!

smileygrapefruit · 16/04/2017 20:11

I cut the actual dummy bit off and she fell asleep just holding the plastic bit. I just told her it was broken mean mum but it worked!

Whathaveilost · 16/04/2017 20:11

I accidentally dropped Ds1s when I was carryinghim upstairs - I do mean accidentally, I hadn't planned this. I just said 'oh no! Mummy has broken it!' And that was that. He was about 11 months though. I didn't bother with a dummy for DS2.

GoodDayToYou · 16/04/2017 20:12

I was sure this was going to be a 'Cold Easter dinner with stupid ILs' thread!

Alex83 · 16/04/2017 20:12

Don't give up now, it sounds like you're doing great! I'm sure the worst is over if you're already on night 2. DD gave hers up a little while ago aged 3.5, 'luckily' she had hand, foot & mouth and her mouth was too sore to suck the dummy for a few nights and I just threw them away and decided to bite the bullet. I'd suggest throwing them away, it's so tempting to give in to a screaming child when you're tired!

SovietKitsch · 16/04/2017 20:14

Took 3 days of tantrums at bedtime when my DS was 3, then he was done and he had been a total dummy addict!

MrsJayy · 16/04/2017 20:16

Dd was 3 she got a teddy in replacement and i just took it off her minesweeped her hideyhole for spares and just went for it I did give her warning she was annoyed and whinged but it was over in a few nights.

Original poster
Germansausage88 · 16/04/2017 20:18

She's got a teddy which she is addicted to so I've told her to cuddle her and look after her. The screams are like I'm murdering her, I feel so cruel but I can't let her have it till she's 10 like me, it was so much harder to give it up when I was that old!!!

OP posts:
PersisFord · 16/04/2017 20:18

Push through. We ditched the twins dummies at about that age. A bit of broken-hearted sobbing the second night but I just stayed there and told really boring stories until they fell asleep ("....then the princess had a wee, then she washed her hands, then she read some books, then she was a bit thirsty so she had a drink of water......"), and by the third night it was fine.

PersisFord · 16/04/2017 20:19

I agree - cut them up and throw them away!

BettyOBarley · 16/04/2017 20:21

Don't go back now, throw them in the bin if you've got any in the house so your not tempted. It'll only cause worse tantrums next time you try of you give in. By tomorrow I bet it will be a different story. My DD 3.4 has just given hers up at bedtime and it went very well but she does find it really hard to relax/settle and fall asleep now so bedtime takes a while!

Bibs2014 · 16/04/2017 20:25

Watching as I need to do this with DS!

00100001 · 16/04/2017 20:28

She won't scream every night. She will get over it. And she won't remember this :)

Be strong!

Coughandsplutter · 16/04/2017 20:31

This'll be me in a few months.....dreading it!

motherofdaemons · 16/04/2017 20:32

Do NOT cave. Go throw them out immediately and go sooth her any way you can- let her fall asleep watching TV if she wants or let her sleep in your bed and cuddle her to sleep. It is painful but so so necessary. I did cold turkey with both my older girls at around 2.5yrs. Took them to dentist for the first time and told them that now they have been to the dentist they need to leave their dummies behind for babies who need them- only babies have dummies and they were big girls! DD1 tantrummed all night the first night, a bit better the second night, 3rd night woke crying once and then never again. DD2 accepted the loss of the dummy pretty well but slept badly for about a week. You are absolutely doing the right thing, stay strong.

Testyisanicerword · 16/04/2017 20:33

Also watching as need to grow balls and get rid of DS'. He's 3 and i have a 4mnth old so riding the 'too new' train.

Too worried I won't get rid of them all and he'll find one. He uses them to antagonise me!!

FlyingElbows · 16/04/2017 20:34

You're doing fine, it won't last long. Chuck 'em in the bin and it'll be over in a few days. Stay strong, you can do this!

WheresTheCoffee · 16/04/2017 20:35

The three day rule is real, stay calm and strong and kind. It will pass!

Original poster
Germansausage88 · 16/04/2017 20:36

So glad to read that others still have kids with dummies at 3!!! I am made to feel very alienated at nursery and playgroup for letting her have a dummy at this age!!!

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 16/04/2017 20:37

persis do you think your twins just wanted you to stop talking Grin