To keep kids of school

[user1489094655]

Hi,
Me, do and dd5 and ds4 are going to Disney Paris in June. We are going in June because my dh has 2 weeks fixed hols from work so we are going the second week of his allocation.

We won't get fined but it is classes as an unauthorised absence so before we start the term we already know dd will get 'red' letter. (Ds is nursery so not included)

I have ocd and am an emetophobe so sick/ germs eto is very difficult for me to cope with and I find it difficult for the kids to go to school anyway.

Would it be OK to keep the kids off school for the week before as well because

1. I would be scared they would pick something up from school and to be ill away from home is even worse.
2. It would give dh more time to spend at home and in the garden with kids. Other than weekends, his next break is 16th October week ( again not school hols)
3. Dd will still be on red for attendance missing one OR two weeks.

If we did this what would we tell school?

Thanks for reading

Right. I'm Wolfie and I'm happy to talk about my MH issues. I have depression and often fucking awful anxiety. I have coping strategies that mostly take the edge off but holidays are a major trigger for me.
Seek treatment OP. You can get better and you can be well enough to allow your kids to have happy holiday memories.

loukout
Are you just here to pick apart my posts? Or do you actually have some advice for the OP

I am shocked that everyone has been so outspoken and am in tears

You posted on AIBU.
People give their views and are not trained MH practitioners.
Sometimes you need to be upset to realise things and move forward. Please consider discussing this with your doctor instead of people on MN.
No one has deliberately set out to hurt you.

Someones got to stick up for her.

No! Completely unreasonable! You can be prosecuted, you'll have education welfare officers breathing down your neck, you'll fall out with the school and set yourself up for so many unnecessary problems. Taking them out of school at all is questionable but to do so without even going away is completely ridiculous.

User, please don't cancel your holiday. It was expensive and your children will LOVE it. If they get sick they will be ok, so will you.

Take no notice of the less than positive posts on here, they have no idea how they would deal with this complex problem. Your fears are your fears and if you could get rid of them, you would in a heartbeat, wouldn't you? The fact is that most adults I've ever met have had MH issues in one form or another, they just don't necessarily realise because some forms are milder and less obstrusive than others. Or they're in denial. Or they're on medication/in therapy.

You will be ok. No harm will come to you or your family, although I completely understand your concerns. Pm me if you need to, but please don't camel your holiday or think it was a mistake, it really wasn't a bad thing to do.

Just a modern day white knight, protecting her from people giving her advice....you just crack on then

Wibblypig speaks sense.

OP I'm reading your last post and wondering how you can consider yourself strong enough to go to DLP (not your DH) when at the beginning of this thread you said you didn't want your DD to go to school i.e. To your OCD and emetophobia. If you're strong enough for the holiday then your MH is a moot point in the question of whether or not to keep her off school.

Ok, you crack on being nasty

OP, I replied without reading the full thread. However I do think you'd nbe very unreasonable to keep them off for the week before. I'm sorry you've been hvaing such a hard time recently. Part of what made me say you'd be unreasonable is because I had a really hard time when my DC started school and I fell out with them (for missing time due to actual illness!) but the consequent falling out, meeting, more meetings, even though attendance was above 90%, stressed me out so much (and all while in reception!) that I know just how horribly stressful these knock on effectcs can be. I hope that makes a little bit of sense. I hope you start to feel a bit better soon.

I think some don't realise that MH problems are an irrational fear and sometimes you come up with solutions such as she has that you know will ease your anxiety.
OP I have recently been diagnosed with emetophobia ( although mine manifests differently to you). Over the years I have come up with crazy ideas just to give myself a moment's relief from the anxiety.
I hope those being so awful never have to go through it. Those saying things like DLP has more germs may not realise that actually a flippant comment like that could cause a person to cancel a holiday all together. I just think people need to think before they speak
Op please know I DO NOT judge you at all! And totally get where your head is at.
However, I have to agree that keeping them off will not help you or them at all. It will just reconfirm your fear and you will begin the awful cycle again :(
Have you had ANY CBT? It has really helped me x

No Lou someone has got to genuinely help her , like Wolfie by being a critical friend and allowing her to realise she needs to seek further help and support as her OCD and emetophobia is not at all under control and is affecting her decision making and her DC's education, potentially. (Thinking long term here : how many more times may OP seek to keep DC off school because of sickness...)

Most posters haven't been unsympathetic or outspoken at all, they've simply stated it's unreasonable. No amount of sympathy will change that fact unfortunately.

Ok, you crack on being nasty

And yet I've not said one nasty thing

No that's 2 weeks of school missed when there's no need. You're lucky not to get fined. You might if you take the other 5

Yes of course it would be unreasonable. You can't let your mental health issues interfere with your dc's education like that.

But

But

But

We can all get sick, any time, any place. And DLP. Rides, some fast ones, some going round in circles. Travel either by air or by boat. Ice creams and Cokes and chips. Excitement. People. Lots and lots of people.

And - school is the problem?

I'm honestly not trying to be harsh but I do think sometimes people can hide a tiny bit behind an illness or condition. My whole family did this my brother had Crohn's disease and would clutch his belly with an anguished expression when somebody suggested something he didn't want to do! 'Ohhhh I'd LOVE to but - me Crooohhhhns!'

Op has conceded that the sickness is only part of why she wants the kids at home. I think time to be honest. I am sure op has a real and horrible condition but that's NOT why she wants the kiddiwinks at home!

Come on OP, you are strong enough. Being honest, I would love to capture my children in a germ-free bubble but I can't. Neither can you, but they're meant to come into contact with some germs.

user1489094655 I have so much empathy for you, as I have OCD too. However, I would urge you to send your DC's to school and nursery, as every day at school is invaluable to their education.

I have had to learn to use my OCD ways to good effect, which has been very hard at times. I would have a chat with your GP as, if you haven't already, perhaps you could be prescribed something like Half Beta, to help with the rising anxiety levels.

As other PPs have said, enjoy the week at home with your DH, prepare for your holiday. Very best wishes to you

School have been very reasonable about the holiday and you keeping the kids off for another week before is just taking the piss.

@ILikeBeansWithKetchup
Thanks. It's just I know it's very easy for MH issues to make you think, feel or behave in a way other people would think completely nuts! Mine can do!
It's not easy to admit there's a problem sometimes but life can be so much better if you get help. It really can.

Please give User a break. OCD is a merciless condition, and the last thing she needs are harsh, judgemental comments, this will just make her anxiety levels fly through the roof.

I agree Wolfie [smile}

Chin up OP {flowers]