Victorian Mumsnet

[PlayOnWurtz]

Brought over from another thread...

AIBU to think I've left it too late by starting my ds in the mining profession at 5?

How old is too old to go up chimneys?

What size coal is right for my fire?

And oop 'ear in 't north mill owners are laying off.
We 'ave but a cardboard box t' live in.

How often should I clean my box?

I have my deceased sister's daughter living with us. She is disruptive: refusing to smile on request and allow herself to be beaten by my beautiful, clever, charming son. She also demurred when he wanted her book and told her that she was ugly, stupid and poor.
AIBU by sending her to a boarding school for orphans and the daughters of distressed gentlefolk without any intention of seeing her again?

Our dear Queen has such excellent taste!

Asmato So pleased to hear it. Make sure you have the money for her to be presented. She won't get a proper man in she doesn't have the money. Are her teeth okay? If not, I'd get them taken out.

Username "RonJuskin"
Ladies, I hope you do not object to a gentleman asking a question in your online parlour. Obviously I have name changed for this.

This is a very delicate question which is why I have posted this in the Married Women Only section.

I recently, after a long betrothal, was wed to a beautiful young woman, I'll call her... Ellie.
I was horrified on our wedding night when I removed her nightgown to discover that she had a.... a.... a pelt of hair between her legs LIKE A MAN!
Not like all the normal women whose bodies are represented so faithfully in Art, perfectly hairless.
Obviously after seeing this monstrosity on my darling um Affie, I was unable to proceed with the planned deflowering.
AIBU to seek an annulment or should I just write a poem about the experience?

mornington I fear you may be right. Although we haven't partaken in those sorts of activities since DH got a bit too jolly after last year's opening of the grouse season.
I was hoping that asking cook to prepare his favourite fish for tonight's dinner and begging profusely for his forgiveness would do the trick.

Shortly before my son was born my husband died and left us poor as church mice. Fortunately I met my new DH but my son and he do not appear well suited and my son Has recently bitten him! DH insists that my son should go away to a boarding school that he has heard is excellent for difficult children. Does anybody have experience of Salem House?

AIBU to demand chloroform for my next confinement?

AIBU to fire my maid?

I heard her crying in the night all the way from her attic room, the ungrateful wench. I provide uniform, food, reasonable hours (5am to 11pm with breaks for meals for goodness sake!) and half a day once a month to visit her family. I even gave her a new name as I thought hers was too provincial. Our maids are all called Mary, it makes it easier to remember their names. What has she got to cry about, she's 12 and needs to grow up!

I wandered in here by mistake

I read Iris post and was like 'wtf'

AIBU to demand chloroform for my next confinement?

Outrageous. The pain is to remind you of your original sin. You deserve the pain you filthy vessel of Satan.

RonJuskin A MAN reading our most intimate and private postings. Heavens above! I fear I must ask you to leave this space immediately, I don't think I'd be able to show my face in good society again if this ever got out.

Iris65: I recommend Dotheboys Hall. Salem is too soft.

Breakfast a "pelt of hair"

Moussemoose
It is treason to speak to your Monarch like that!

All my teeth have fallen out and as a woman of some standing, it is quite embarrasing to go to dinner with naught but gums with which to masticate my meat.

WIBU to accept the offer of a full set of "Good pauper's teeth" which my dentist has assured me will come from only the cleanest of workhouse inmates?

I confess that I feel rather delicately about wearing a stranger's teeth in my head.

I fear my neighbour is running a house of ill repute. She has gentlemen callers at all times of the day and night. They leave their carriages outside the curtilage of our property and many only stay for half an hour. She says she has staff but the gels are obviously not of good families and their outfits leave little to the imagination, not to mention the fact that they are clearly wearing rouge. She also seems to enjoy copious amounts of gin.
Should I call upon the services of the local constabulary?

MrsMoasty save the time of the good constables and simply set fire to the loathsome house of ill repute immediately!

Iris65 You are being too kind. I admire your altruism, but seriously, your son is your priority.

I think I have ricketts. Should I dial nhs direct?

How can I procure some grains of antimony for DH?

MrsMoasty, I might fear that the Constabulary are somehow involved. Have you no recourse to move to the country? If not, then why not?

Those damn politicians are always closing down my opium dens. Very inconvenient I say.

Speaking of the Royal Family, I do have sympathies with our dear Prince of Wales; he's waited longer than any other PoW for the top job and doesn't seem to have anything much to do while he waits. On the other hand, it is wonderful that his son has now had a son. The Queen and now three generations of heirs in direct line to the throne. That will never happen again.

My husband's boss is ridiculously mean - would you believe, he even begrudged him having last Christmas Day off? Our youngest son is a cripple and not long for this world, yet DH's boss will do nothing for him, or indeed any of the poor of our parish. WIBU, next Christmas, to dress up as a ghost and teach the stingy bastard a lesson or two?