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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Victorian Mumsnet

340 replies

PlayOnWurtz · 16/04/2017 11:44

Brought over from another thread...

AIBU to think I've left it too late by starting my ds in the mining profession at 5?

How old is too old to go up chimneys?

What size coal is right for my fire?

OP posts:
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11
Paperdolly · 16/04/2017 18:22

I have little wealth but my friend Nancy says "If you don't mind 'avin to go wivvout things it's a fine life" Bitch!

PastysPrincess · 16/04/2017 18:25

I have just taken delivery of my new apparel for tonight's dinner. DH is quite scandalised and states if I wear such a monstrosity he will have me committed to the insane asylum....WWYD

Victorian Mumsnet
Asmoto · 16/04/2017 18:30

I fear your husband is right. Do you wish to outrage your guests? A decent, God-fearing woman would change the dress forthwith - this one is far more suitable.

Victorian Mumsnet
CauliflowerSqueeze · 16/04/2017 18:35

andrew - indeed the burning at the stake sounds super fun.

asmoto how delightful! Could you elaborate on the freakshows currently touring the south east? The only one I don't wish to see is the Bearded Lady. Frankly, my brother-in-law made a rather snipey comment the last time we saw her picture on a placard, meaning that ever since I've been draping thin Indian scarves around my chin and neck.

dowhatnow · 16/04/2017 18:39

Alas my new DH is demanding his conjugal rights and I find it very distasteful. I was Shock at what happened in our boudoir after the wedding breakfast. Ma had told me to lie back and think of England but Aibu to think that I should have been better prepared?

My monthlies have stopped and I am expanding in girth. Could I be with child? If this be the case how it will come out of my belly button?

Obviously I cannot discuss this in rl as it is so unseemly for a well brought up lady such as myself.

PastysPrincess · 16/04/2017 18:44

@Asmoto I fear I may have been led astray by rumours I heard whilst stopped in my carriage (I was on my way to be measured for a new dress). Two scullery maids were talking about attempts being made to secure voting rights for women. I'm afraid I was emboldened by what I heard and made my order for trousers. Wouldn't trousers make life so much simpler?

Asmoto · 16/04/2017 19:00

Cauliflower These fascinatingly tiny people are currently in London and no reflections on sheets of glass are used on the stage whatsoever

I heard a shocking rumour that the show also featured a lady with a tattoo, but I am afraid missed the details as I had to be brought round with smelling salts.

Victorian Mumsnet
morningtoncrescent62 · 16/04/2017 19:00

YABU, dowhatnow. You aren't supposed to enjoy the - ahem - conjugal unpleasantness. It's there to be endured for the sake of pleasing your DH and having his children. YABVVU to think your mother should have gone into detail about the - ahem - conjugal unpleasantness. No well-brought up lady discusses such things. And I'm afraid I can't bring myself to write about the travails of childbirth. You'll just have to find that out for yourself, the way the rest of us did. Sorry, but as your DM said, think of England and all will be well (unless you're Scottish).

Asmoto · 16/04/2017 19:01

Trousers, Pastys? Begone, you harlot!

JessieMcJessie · 16/04/2017 19:07

DH loves this house but I've never been a fan of newbuild. Should we buy it even though it has no period features?

Victorian Mumsnet
ErrolTheDragon · 16/04/2017 19:08

You wouldn't be able to go far from your own home in that garb, for fear of the call of nature - skirts are far more practical.

Elendon · 16/04/2017 19:09

Pasty I'd go to the insane asylum. Quite frankly you are beyond redemption and your husband deserves all the sympathy.

Andrewofgg · 16/04/2017 19:11

dowhatnow A young lady of my acquaintance told me - after, I fear, she had looked on the wine when 'twas red and it had loosened her tongue - that when they had dinner at the hotel after the wedding she should make sure he had oysters. She ordered twelve and was most disappointed that one of them did not work until the following day.

228agreenend · 16/04/2017 19:12

www.victorianhomesmag.com/wp-content/uploads/Images/VicEaster5W-copy.jpg

Wishing everyone a Happy Easter.

morningtoncrescent62 · 16/04/2017 19:12

Is that house only two storeys high, Jessie? I think you should consider practicalities. Where's the maid going to sleep? It's always best to go for a thin, tall, house I feel - the maid can sleep either in the attic or in a lean-to next to the kitchen, and she won't mind hauling buckets of coal up and down the stairs all day. Your DH as a man doesn't think of these things, but we ladies have to bear the burden of ensuring the house runs smoothly.

Andrewofgg · 16/04/2017 19:12

dowhatnow A young lady of my acquaintance told me - after, I fear, she had looked on the wine when 'twas red and it had loosened her tongue - that her mother had told her that when they had dinner at the hotel after the wedding she should make sure he had oysters. She ordered twelve and was most disappointed that one of them did not work until the following day.

Elendon · 16/04/2017 19:13

Dowhatnow have you never known women to die in childbirth? Bellybutton?

You clearly are not fit to give birth. Precious diamond that you are.

dowhatnow · 16/04/2017 19:18

Please don't flame me elendon
Such matters were never spoken about at home.

madein1995 · 16/04/2017 19:23

AIBU to disown my dd? She used to be a proper, well brought up lady. We sent her to a finishing school in Switzerland (as of course all proper families do) and she became great friends with another girl, who’s father is a duke somewhere abroad. Since returning home, dd’s head is full of fanciful notions regarding women and the vote. This will not do at all as her father is in parliament and her actions could ruin this family. I have tried to convince her to stop, but the little minx will not and I caught her last night putting a sash away! I fear this has gone too far. WIBU to disown (or rather, convince DH to disown) her? On a side note, does anyone know how one goes about suing a Swiss finishing school for putting ideas into young heads?
AIBU or is sis? DD (5) is ill. Nothing serious, a few spots, coughing, she can’t keep anything down and she is picking at the quilts. My sister reckons it is serious and that we ought to call the doctor. Now in an ideal world I would, but doctors cost money. Ever since she started in that factory and got some money, she’s become all la di dah. Personally, I think it’d be better to give old Mrs Jones next door a glug of dh’s brandy in return for rubbing a bit of ointment on it. If she doesn’t improve in a day or three I’d take her to the London. WWYD?
AIBU to consider going to the chemist for help with ds (age 18 months?) The child is teething something dreadful. I get opium and lithium from there every Monday to help with DH’s bad back (he would not work otherwise) so it would be no bother. It might help the pain. If nothing else, it is keeping the other 10 children awake (as DH won’t consider having him in with us). I think it’s a great idea and DD7 (who is 5) has just started working in the mills so we can afford it. Mary next door says it is a bad idea and to simply put him in the cupboard instead, so he does not wake the others. I think this is cruel. WhoIBU?
AIBU to think it is wrong that ds’s master beat him bloody? I’m not one of these liberal mollycoddlers and ds is no angel, but his only crime was pointing out that the master had spelt conscience wrong. Also, wasIU to not let on to dh what has happened? I know he will be upset that ds has brought shame to the family and I don’t want ds being chastised again, poor mite. I have told DH that ds is in bed ill. Now I feel guilty for being a bad wife, but not a bad mother. AIBU?
AIBU to have an affair with the Lord of the household? He’s a lovely man, really kind and funny. His wife is a harridan though, horrible stuck up cow. I’m a maid, and I love him. I know he’ll never leave her Ladyship, but I’d like him to. WIBU to sneak rat poison in her tea?
AIBU to think this fundraising for the poor and talk of ‘social reform’ is ridiculous? They have workhouses where they’re kept alive, what more do they want? If it’s not stamped out it’ll get silly with them having, gasp, holidays!
AIBU to question my dh’s judgement? Our dd (unwed, at 17) is pregnant. We are devastated. I accept it my fault for not having her married and letting her run wild, but it’s done now. The man will not marry her (he is unable to work so unsuitable anyway) and we cannot subject her to a life of poverty. My dh and the local vicar have decided to send her to a home for unmarried mothers. When it is born, it will be taken away, and then dd can come back and marry DH’s friend the Archduke of Something or Other. I disagree, though. I’m getting used to the idea of being a nanny and seeing the child once a week on Sundays, and we certainly have the money for a nanny. DH is determined to avoid a scandal and says this is the only way, or he will disown us both. WhoIBU?

CauliflowerSqueeze · 16/04/2017 19:23

Jessie the house is a little lower middle for me, I'm afraid.

For a start, I would need space for this

Victorian Mumsnet
Elendon · 16/04/2017 19:23

Stuff and nonsense dowhatnow Did nanny not explain?

What kind of governess did you have?

Thank goodness my precious son, who likes the company of men a lot, rugby and cricket, is not married to a fragile petal like yourself. His spell in Oxford will not be wasted money. imagine, some parents spend money on their daughters to go to university!

dowhatnow · 16/04/2017 19:24

jessie
That house in London is very expensive for £600. Up here in the north you could get a nice country estate with workers cottages for that price.

Moussemoose · 16/04/2017 19:26

I must away I live in 't north so must spend the evening on the moors.

I can hear the call " Cathy is that you?"

AIBU - some tart called Cathy fancy's my bloke can I chin her? Verily.

CancellyMcChequeface · 16/04/2017 19:27

I'm thirty and unmarried. It's hopeless, isn't it? I never minded being thought a bluestocking when I was younger, but now I fear I'll just be a burden on my family forever.

Too much reading has likely damaged my womb, even if I weren't too old - I can dream of meeting a widower who needs someone to look after his household and dozen unruly children, can't I?

Asmoto · 16/04/2017 19:29

Jessie These new-fangled houses are simply too poky. Even if you only have a small family - say, six children - you will struggle to accommodate yourselves in comfort.

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