Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend is a tight arse???

575 replies

FataliePorkman · 15/04/2017 18:20

Just been out for lunch with three friends and our DCs- the children all had the same (lunchboxes with a carton drink and then a small crispy cake) but us adults ate/drank varying amounts. Two of the friends are a couple and the other is single like me. Let's call her Joan.

3/4 of us shared a bottle and extra glass of wine and 2 soft drinks. Joan didn't drink as she lives further away from the pub than us so was driving.
We all had a starter and a main course and then we got a chessboard to share between us- but only me and the couple had some. Joan had 3 DC with her, I have 3 DC and the couple have 1 DC.

Anyway the bill came and friend from the couple suggested we split the bill 3 ways equally. I was fine with this, as were the couple. Joan refused and said she would only pay for what her and her DC had.

Awkward tension followed- Joan paid for her meal and her DC while me and my other two friends split the bill.

AIBU to think she is a bit tight??

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
anotherdayanothersquabble · 15/04/2017 23:02

Where is the OP??? I am team Joan. Though I think it's a reverse...

Willow2017 · 15/04/2017 23:04

Why should you have to 'announce' that you are only paying for your own meal and drinks before you order? What difference does it make? If you are going to order something you want then does it depend on whether someone else is subsidising it or not? Its not like spliting the bill at the end of the meal is going to make any difference to the cost rather than at the begining of the meal.

If you want to have alcohol and a bloody cheese board then have one but dont expect someone else to pay for it for you just for the pleasure of your company!

RufusTheRenegadeReindeer · 15/04/2017 23:06

The bit i hate is when everyone chips in the money for what they have eaten

And everyone says 'i have put in extra for the tip'

And we are still bloody short on the bill...let alone the sodding tip!!

Fig678 · 15/04/2017 23:07

OP, COME BACK!! I want to know the price difference and whether you're Joan...some of us having nothing better to do on a Saturday night you know...

Jeaniusly · 15/04/2017 23:07

Ah Willow,

Relax, In fairness there were six kids amongst them and the other couple had one DC,

So how would you break up the bill?

FrancisCrawford · 15/04/2017 23:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoSquirrels · 15/04/2017 23:14

How you'd break up the bill would be... paying for what your family ate & drank, plus contribution to tip!

whatsthecomingoverthehill · 15/04/2017 23:17

I find it odd that people seem to have such a problem adding up what they've had. It's primary school arithmetic.

CoffeeBreakIn5 · 15/04/2017 23:18

Nope, I'm with Joan. You can fuck off with your cheese and your wine. And why should those of us who don't drink have to announce at the beginning of the meal that we won't be paying for your alcohol? Have some manners!

Jeaniusly · 15/04/2017 23:23

You have to be assertive. Lesson one.

But anyway, what would you think would be a deal breaker. 5quid, 10 or more in the difference

Anyway if it had been said out LOUD before the fekkin meal there would be no issue.

Also remember there were six kids with two parents, and a couple with one kid here. But I suppose kids eat nothing.

Gingernaut · 15/04/2017 23:24

RufusTheRenegadeReindeer and not by a few pennies either!

I do always 'pay my way', rounding up on the prices and including a bit extra but every time I go out with work colleagues, I always end up shelling out at least another fiver. It's infuriating!

Gingernaut · 15/04/2017 23:25

Team Joan, btw. Blush

UrsulaPandress · 15/04/2017 23:26

We took a Joan out for lunch the other day.

We paid.

Willow2017 · 15/04/2017 23:27

Like I said pay for what me and kids had and the others can split it however the hell they like between 3 adults and 4 kids.

Notice Op hasnt come back to say she is happy to split it 2 ways with the couple (as they appear to think they are just 1 person) and help pay for their meals and wine and cheese!

FedUpWithBriiiiiick · 15/04/2017 23:29

HASHTAG TEAM FUCKING JOAN.

JustSpeakSense · 15/04/2017 23:30

Team Joan

To think my friend is a tight arse???
Witchend · 15/04/2017 23:34

Not surprised the OP was happy to do that as she had 2 adults and 3 dc, either 1 adult or 2 children (which I'd say was approximately equivalent) more than either the others.
She also had the wine and the cheeseboard which "Joan" chose not to.

I'd say the rude one was the Op, who should have immediately said something along the lines of "oh I don't think that's fair as there's more of us than either you two, let me put in an extra "

NoSquirrels · 15/04/2017 23:35

Argh, Jean.

Someone up thread did the maths already!

But let's say:

Adult = 1 point
Child = 0.5 points

2 adults, 1 child = 2.5
1 adult, 3 children = 2.5

So far, so fair. But 3 adults drank 1 bottle of wine plus an extra glass, and ate cheese, while 1 adult did not.

So "fair" would have been for the 3 cheese eating drinkers to pay over & above.

Obviously.

And - as has been explained at length by PPs - your "deal breaker" level is governed by what you can afford, so an extra £5 might have been small enough to make a big difference to whether Joan could afford to pay for a meal out with friends & her kids in the school holidays.

If you are strapped for cash, small amounts matter.

If you ordered & ate it, why would you be surprised at having to pay for it, no matter when it was '"said out loud"?!

Closedenv · 15/04/2017 23:35

In the past i've offered to do the simplest/quickest option and just split equally, but friends have been fair and said no. IMO this situation is even more uneven so no way should her actions be seen as tight the others are the guikty ones!

FrancisCrawford · 15/04/2017 23:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fanciedachange17 · 15/04/2017 23:40

Well I think we can all safely agree that Joan can have free life membership of Mumsnet and the OP will have to namechange and shape up before daring to post again as we all think you are a meanie.

NoSquirrels · 15/04/2017 23:44

I assume the difference in bill we're talking about is say £30 extra on cheese & wine.

Split 3 ways that's an extra tenner Joan is paying for not eating or drinking any of it.

£10 would buy ice creams for her family of 4, or new socks for a couple of kids, or part of a tank of petrol to come out for the day, or a kids haircut, or or or ...

It's extremely rude to presume to spend other people's money for them!

Jeaniusly · 15/04/2017 23:45

Two single parents = six kids

Two married parents = one kid.

Cheeseboard and a bottle of wine, no contest.

Where are the dads of the six kids they made, woops. Think about it. The dads could have paid for the lot of them.

neitherthisnorthat · 15/04/2017 23:45

Sorry, I am Team Joan. If I had been the OP I would never have suggested splitting it 3 ways when poor old Joan didn't drink or eat the cheese, and wasn't part of a couple. I wouldn't have paid for your stinking cheese and wine either. Actually, I would have because I would have been too embarrassed and worried about looking hyper about money. But I wouldn't have gone out with you again....

PurpleDaisies · 15/04/2017 23:48

Where are the dads of the six kids they made, woops. Think about it. The dads could have paid for the lot of them.

That's totally irrelevant to the issue of splitting the bill in this case. How do you know the dads don't contribute anything towards their children? It's perfectly fine for parents to split up. I'm amazed you thought to bring this up.

Swipe left for the next trending thread