Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ex expecting me to get the train..

102 replies

andshewillbeloved · 15/04/2017 09:18

Ex's brother and his gf had their first baby a week ago. They live an hour away in the same town as ex (ex moved down there after we broke up). It would take 2 trains and cost me £30 to get there but he says I need to take dd to meet her cousin. He said he's not a taxis service and I shouldn't expect him to drive him to pick dd up to drive back down and then drive back up to drop her off.

Who's being unreasonable here?

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 15/04/2017 09:20

If he's so bothered about her meeting the baby then he can come and get her

ProudBadMum · 15/04/2017 09:20

You don't need to do shit. Not your family not your problem

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 15/04/2017 09:20

His family if he wants them to meet he needs to be sorting it out!!

luckylucky24 · 15/04/2017 09:20

If he wants her to see his neice/nephew he can take her next time she is with him. Don't see why you should facilitate this?

WateryTart · 15/04/2017 09:21

You don't need to do shit. Not your family not your problem

Eloquently put. Exactly this.

TommyandGina · 15/04/2017 09:21

It's not your responsibility to. If he wants his dd to meet her new cousin he can get off his arse and make it happen.

zen1 · 15/04/2017 09:21

He is. If he wants her to meet her cousin, he can take her.

limon · 15/04/2017 09:21

If he wants dd to meet her cousin then he can take her on his contact day or make an additional arrangement for him to take her. It's not your responsibility

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 15/04/2017 09:22

He should facilitate contact with his family. He would presumably enjoy that contact whereas you would genuinely be acting as a taxi service.

Chasingsquirrels · 15/04/2017 09:22

He is clearly an arsewipe.
BUT who is asking that your DD meet her cousin? Is it your DD who wants this or is it his family?

Spadequeen · 15/04/2017 09:22

His family, his problem.

You are also not s taxi service to facilitate his family.

FerdinandsRevenge · 15/04/2017 09:22

If he gives a shit, he will take her.

Original poster
andshewillbeloved · 15/04/2017 09:23

He's made me feel like shit for not making the effort to take her down there but I don't fancy spending the day catching 2 trains and spending £30 plus lunch etc when it's not even my bloody family!

He has a way of making me feel guilty.

OP posts:
AlternativeTentacle · 15/04/2017 09:24

he says I need to take dd to meet her cousin

Is he your boss?

If not, then he can go fuck himself, can't he?

Who cares what he says?

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 15/04/2017 09:25

You say"OK." And then do your own thing. His family in his contact time.

He's not your taxi service, but he is DD's taxi service until she is old enough to get herself from A-B safely.

TommyandGina · 15/04/2017 09:25

You need to learn to stand up to him otherwise he will continue to manipulate you (bitter voice of experience)

Nospringflower · 15/04/2017 09:26

Dont feel like shit! You need to be assertive - if you want her to meet your family then you need to arrange it - and then forget about it! I know thats easier said than done but the more practise you get the better!

SailAwayWithMeHoney · 15/04/2017 09:26

not your family. Not your problem

Spot on.

Branleuse · 15/04/2017 09:27

youre not a taxi service either. if he wants her to meet the baby, he can take her. Dont be a walkover

ProudBadMum · 15/04/2017 09:27

Says yes ok and thank him for taking her when your cousin has a baby...

See if he gets the hint then

Original poster
andshewillbeloved · 15/04/2017 09:27

Why do I still let him control me? It's been 2 years you would think I would be wiser to his bullshit by now

OP posts:
inlectorecumbit · 15/04/2017 09:27

haha Is he on glue Grin

have wanted to use that MN phrase for ages

YellowDinosaur · 15/04/2017 09:28

He can fuck the fuck off with that.

His family, his problem, to be arranged during his contact time.

FinallyHere · 15/04/2017 09:29

Just as well he is your ex, then, so you don't have to accommodate this.

guinnessgirl · 15/04/2017 09:29

If he feels so strongly about her going, he can make it happen. Otherwise it won't happen. I'd be telling him exactly that.