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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Twin or multiple -v- singleton pregnancy

32 replies

bumblebee50 · 14/04/2017 12:25

AIBU in thinking that unless you have experienced a twin or multiple pregnancy you can't appreciate how much more difficult it is than a single baby? When I was pregnant with my first DS I felt hard done by with heartburn, tiredness, morning sickness etc. In truth it was nothing compared to my twin pregnancy - in the end I could only lie on one side in bed, couldn't lie on my back and found it really uncomfortable to sit up straight. I also bled from about 24 weeks with no real cause discovered. I only put on two stones when pregnant and actually lost weight because I just couldn't eat much. I was so glad when my pregnancy was over.

OP posts:

ShiroiKoibito · 14/04/2017 12:29

YABU - purely because every pregnancy can be different - my first was a breeze, didnt even show til 6 months, 2nd i had morning sickness for 6 months, and it was hell - i also had a large bleed at 16 weeks, and nearly lost him.

Yes - i appreciate that your pregnancy is hard, and not taking that away from you - but you're not the only one who has ever had a hard time being pg

Meekonsandwich · 14/04/2017 12:29

It's all unique to the person I think,
What hurts the wolf kills the pup, different people cope differently and every pregnancy is unique,
One of my friends had twins and her pregnancy was plain sailing, she loved it, have birth in I kid you not two hours from start to finish, and I have a friend who had one and it was a nightmare right from the start.

But if it was a case of a straight forward single pregnancy and a straight forward multiple pregnancy, I imagine the multiples to be more tiring as you're bigger and more likely to get reflux ect.

princessconsuelobananahammock · 14/04/2017 12:29

Erm YANBU that YOUR experiences were different but that's a bit random! You can't appreciate what anything is like until you've experienced it. All pregnancies are different - some singletons totally horrific & some less so. I assume (but don't know) multiples are the same.

Dulcibella · 14/04/2017 12:30

It's not a competition to see who had it the hardest

user1489261248 · 14/04/2017 12:30

Of course people who only have one baby at a time can't know what it's like to have twins

But they can't help not knowing what it's like. Just like men can't know what it's like to be pregnant/give birth.

Not sure what the point of your post is. Many women who have ONE baby at a time still have a traumatic time sometimes. Suffering, and being in pain, and having a hard time in pregnancy and childbirth, is not exclusive to women having two or more at the same time.

BeansMcCready · 14/04/2017 12:30

You are probably nbu but the experience of pregnancy is different for everyone - it's not a competition. Some people have complications which make singleton pregnancies really tough and there is no way to compare. HG, SPD, GD, etc

Congratulations on your pregnancy though, and sorry it's tough at the moment.

CesareBorgiasUnicornMask · 14/04/2017 12:32

I think all pregnancies are different. I'm currently pregnant with my second and it's totally different to the first time when I sailed through with no problems other than a bit of morning sickness at the beginning and mild gestational diabetes. This time I don't have GD, weirdly, but I was really sick until 16 weeks, have SPD and can now only walk with a stick, the baby has been sitting really high since about 18 weeks and I can hardly eat, I have constant heartburn, inexplicable raised liver function tests and dreadful insomnia despite being exhausted.

I think with multiples there are obviously more things that can potentially go wrong, and of course it's tougher on the body than having one, but I have a friend who had an absolutely dreadful first pregnancy with her singleton and then a comparatively easy twin pregnancy. I'm not suggesting twin pregnancies at their worst aren't probably worse than singletons, but I think whether or not you have a terrible pregnancy has got much more to do with luck of the draw than the number of babies.

MiddlingMum · 14/04/2017 12:40

I had a twin pregnancy with complications. However, I know people who have had single, twin and triplet pregnancies with far more problems than me. I'm not sure that the number of babies is actually the most important factor.

CookingMamama · 14/04/2017 12:45

YABU as many pregnancies have complications. My singleton pregnancy was higher risk than my friends twin pregnancy. My waters broke at 23 weeks and continued to leak until baby was induced at 32 weeks. I had weekly scans and tests and spent at least 70% of my later pregnancy in hospital or at appointments.

I appreciate it must be physically harder to carry twins but every pregnancy is different and some multiple pregnancys run very smoothly and some singleton pregnancies very traumatic.

harderandharder2breathe · 14/04/2017 12:55

Yabu, it's not a competition

womaninatightspot · 14/04/2017 12:55

Having had singleton pregnancies and a multiple pregnancy I'd be tempted to agree with you. I'm sure every pregnancy is different but I was just a disaster with twins. Physically I don't think I'm built to cope with twins they were 6lbs and 5 10 ounces and every area of my health was failing. My pelvic floor has never recovered either all that weight for so long= prolapse central.

SalemSaberhagen · 14/04/2017 13:02

Why do I need to 'appreciate' it? I'm not over here barking orders at women pregnant with twins

Wando1986 · 14/04/2017 13:05

Oh give over, OP. Honestly.

SomethingBorrowed · 14/04/2017 13:25

One one hand, a multiples pregnant means more weight to carry, and statistically more severe morning sickness and heartburn.
One the other hand I know that my twin pregnancy with no complications, no morning sickness and a planned c-section birth with no complications was easier than my friends single pregnancy with a lot of discomfort/sickness, pre-ecclampsia and emergent c-section.
So I would say a typical twins pregnancy is harder than a typical singleton pregnancy but as every statistic it isn't the case for everybody, just the majority of people.

BillSykesDog · 14/04/2017 13:30

My singleton pregnancy wasn't easy but my twin one was horrendous. Housebound from 6 months. It was still better than the ladies I saw in hospital with HG though, they had it really bad.

But I think the difference is nothing compared to after they're born. Nothing can prepare you for that and no singleton could come close to even two calm babies.

NabobsFromNobHill · 14/04/2017 13:33

YABVU. People can have very difficult and complicated singleton pregnancies, and relatively easy twin ones.
This matyrdom competition is inaccurate and distasteful.

KateDaniels2 · 14/04/2017 14:10

My first pregnancy was how you describe your twin one. Bleeding, not being able lay down, walking difficult.

My second was a breeze. But i nearly lost him giving birth. Both were singles.

I have known people who have had twins and found it easy.

What you are forgetting is that all pregnancies are different. If your second was a single, it may have been just as bad.

Besides which its not a compeition. If you are telling a woman struggling with pregnancy that it cant be as bad as a twin one, you are being a bit of a dick.

allegretto · 14/04/2017 14:15

My twin pregnancy was quite nice actually. I got signed off work for a shortened cervix which was stressful but physically i felt fine. Was quite disappointed that I had them at 36 weeks and missed out on the last month!

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 14/04/2017 14:17

YABVU, all pregnancies are different -some are very hard so I'm pretty sure this is something else we don't need to make into a competition, it's not helpful to anyone.

SecretNetter · 14/04/2017 14:24

in the end I could only lie on one side in bed, couldn't lie on my back and found it really uncomfortable to sit up straight

Yeah pretty much describes me op, 36 weeks ATM with 'only' a singleton.

I have horrendous sciatica this time which I've never suffered from before. Constant pain, however I sit or stand, which turns to agony on standing, walking, turning in bed or moving at all. So you can bugger off with your multiple top trumps.

SuffolkingGrand · 14/04/2017 14:26

It's not a competition so YABU. For what it's worth however I do completely sympathise with tricky pregs: my twin preg was a breeze, I then miscarried triplets but my subsequent singleton was incredibly difficult for a myriad of reasons. Every pregnancy is different, even for the same mother, regardless of how many there are in there. Whilst there may be different types of problems or risks for multiple pregnancies, it doesn't of course mean that single ones are 'easier' or that there won't still be difficulties to endure/solve.

NotNowNow · 14/04/2017 14:32

...I'm waiting for a Mum of triplets to turn up.

👶🏼👶🏻👶🏽

OP, YABU to say other people can't appreciate what you went through but you would not have been unreasonable to have a good moan. I hope you are enjoying your twins.

ScarlettFreestone · 14/04/2017 14:45

I assume from your post that someone somewhere isn't giving you much sympathy?

So although I agree with everyone else that it's not a competition, I'msending you lots of virtual flowers and a bucketload of sympathy because I remember well being pregnant with my twins.

A dream genii pillow helped me with sleeping.

Being a twin Mum is fantastic.
Bloody hard work in the first two-three years, but fantastic.

skippythebushkangarootoo · 14/04/2017 14:51

I've had two single pregnancies and a twin one and found them all a breeze tbh. Worked up until the very end in all of them in a physically demanding, long hours job and had quick natural births... YABU 😂 everyone is different!!!!

Fairweather123 · 14/04/2017 14:52

Of course YABU!

You're generalising!

My first pregnancy was an absolute breeze, no morning sickness, no heartburn, no piles, no cravings and a 4 hour labour!

My second pregnancy, baby stayed transverse! So from 6 months I had horrendous SPD, I couldn't lay on my back because baby would press down and cut off my oxygen and blood supply and I couldn't lay on either side because I had a head on one side and a bum on the other, I looked like I had swallowed a dumbbell! So I spent the last 3 months sleeping upright in a chair, with constant pelvic pain. Then I had to have a section.

I can't imagine what a twin pregnancy must be like but equally I wouldn't tell other women they have it 'easy' for 'only' having a single pregnancy because some women have horrendous pregnancies.

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