Twin or multiple -v- singleton pregnancy

[bumblebee50]

AIBU in thinking that unless you have experienced a twin or multiple pregnancy you can't appreciate how much more difficult it is than a single baby? When I was pregnant with my first DS I felt hard done by with heartburn, tiredness, morning sickness etc. In truth it was nothing compared to my twin pregnancy - in the end I could only lie on one side in bed, couldn't lie on my back and found it really uncomfortable to sit up straight. I also bled from about 24 weeks with no real cause discovered. I only put on two stones when pregnant and actually lost weight because I just couldn't eat much. I was so glad when my pregnancy was over.

YABU. I'm a singleton pregnancy and my friend is due the week before me with twins. She's had no ms, no aches/pains, still going on 10 mile hikes etc. I was signed off work for 10 weeks with ms, have PGP and pregnancy has worsened an existing chronic condition so I'm bed bound part of the week. I'm a twin myself and my mum worked as a nurse until 35 weeks, night shifts etc.

Everyone handles pregnancy differently and we should be more understanding to those who are feeling awful during it. It sounds like you are finding it hard and it's ok to do so.

YABU for the reasons everyone stated.

In my last pregnancy I had HG until seven months in, was on medication three times a day, had to avoid smells, most foods and- weirdest of all - loud noises (who knew a loud noise could trigger vomiting?) and then when the puking passed I 'only' had nausea for the rest of it. I gained half a stone the entire pregnancy and the baby weighed 8lb 14oz so it wasn't even my half stone, it was hers. I also had terrible rib pain that nothing eased plus heartburn and acid reflux where I'd wake up vomiting acid. Even the strongest dose of omeprozole didn't relieve it.

At 36wks I went to the MW and had the most horrific hour of my life after she couldn't find a heartbeat, she kept picking my heartbeat up. Off to hospital, sobbing my heart out and shaking uncontrollably the entire way, to discover that she was fine (thank goodness) but was transverse and high up which explained the severe rib pain I'd be having. The MW was picking my heartbeat up rather than the baby's heartbeat because she was so high that my much bigger and louder heartbeat was masking hers.

Because she was transverse I had to stay in hospital in case I went into labour. I had three other DC at home and a DH working full time so it was impractical a situation as it sounds. DH had to cash in all of his remaining leave and beg/borrow a few that he didn't have. I was eventually allowed home but on complete rest and banned from doing anything that might trigger labour.

Delivered DD by section at 38wks. The section itself was lovely but it all went downhill again from there.

On day five I woke up feeling poorly. By that night I was in an ambulance on my way back to hospital with sepsis, I'd reached the point where I was violently shaking, vomiting up bile and so confused that when the MW at the hospital asked me if I wanted to feed my baby my response was a bewildered "what baby?". The OOH doctor who came to the house and rang the ambulance sent DD along with me because in those five days she had dropped from 8lb 15oz to 7lb 4oz and was jaundiced. It turned out she'd lost so much weight because I had retained products (which had caused the sepsis) and it had affected milk production. I was very, very ill. They decided further surgery to remove the products was too big a risk and I was responsibility to the antibiotics so they took a watch and wait approach.

A week later, having been home what for like less than five minutes, I had a secondary PPH when these retained products came away. My poor bathroom floor. Back to hospital again.

Then DD, determined to keep me busy and visiting the hospital as much as possible, has DDH and is in a pavlik harness so we have at least one appointment a week (this week it was three).

It's horses for courses and any pregnancy, single or multiple, can be plain sailing or massively complicated depending on the circumstances. You never get two the same.

But having multiple babies to look after? I imagine that to be very difficult indeed.

You want people to appreciate yours was hard but you can't appreciate theirs might have been also?

YABU.

My first pregnancy was dreadful. I was in and out of hospital, bleeding, losing clots, suspected loss of baby, high blood pressure, sickness, endless fucking sickness and culminated in a 3 day labour with an emc at the end with a lovely 6 day stay in hospital for baby and me because we were both so poorly.

It's not a competition. All pregnancies are different. We are not playing pregnancy trumps.

You sound exactly like a 'friend' of mine who think she has the monopoly on 'poor me'

Me: any sort of musings of being a bit knackered (4kids, working lone parent, zero other family)
Her stock answer to everything "well you should try having twins" (2kids, husband, sister/mum/cousins who all have them at least twice a week every week. Constantly in the pub or having weekends away)

I've not experienced your pregnancy and you've not experienced mine. Let's just leave it there?

Gently, Op, yabu. I had two singleton pregnancies which were much harder during the pregnant stage than my last, twin, pregnancy. For me, twin pregnancy was a breeze.

But you and I cannot compare experiences because they will be different for each of us. We may have different tolerances to pain, tiredness, morning sickness etc. So the best advice I can give you as one twin mum to another is to look after yourself and understand that it's not a competition. Believe me, you will enter into all sorts of stupidly competitive tiredness, who has changed more nappies, done more housework once babies are here.