42k in Reading?

[NervousNellie29]

AIBU to think that a family of four will struggle to survive on a salary of 42k a year pretax while renting?

Aw FFS I'll just come out with it. I doubt anyone I know will even look at this and if so what I've said has probably already outed me. A parent is big boss at work. Everyone answers to him.
So husband basically feels if he ever says no he is saying no to parent, if he asks for more he's asking for more from parent etc.

And I've realised I've outed which parent I'm an idiot

Wait. A parent as in one of his parents? So he's willing to let his wife and children go without to avoid having to have a conversation with his own parent about getting fair remuneration?

Fucking hell. That would drive me crackers.

I would suggest he'd be better off working for someone else, in that case.

Couldn't you make the point about accommodation to them, then? Why does he need to be so near to work?

Him and his dad are very much the same person. Very black and white all about them and how they succeed and what they need. Very very very frustrating.

Ha ha! I was going to ask you how you were so close with this company to have the ear of the seniors!

Well, good news (I think) is that the move to HO is going to be fairly stable - doesn't sound like he'll lose his job.

I bet it would be far healthier for him not to work for parent though

Given the new info, is hard ball totally.

£50K I move, £42K you board until your next promotions get you to £50K. And zero bullshit about living within x miles.

And smile sweetly over your next Sunday roast with the inlaws "we're so excited by the new role, and I can't wait to move your grandchildren here too, just as soon as your son can support them"

@Ellisandra maybe I'll just say we'll live with them and pay what we can afford
I wonder what the salary offer will be then

Oh god that has to be the very definition of shooting yourself in the foot

@Ellisandra MIL would love it. FIL would have a heart attack

That would sort out a multitude of problems
Vacancy at work for a promotion, too

It's not a promotion if he only gets cost of living increase (which actually leaves you all worse off and far from family support). I'd say no to it, that's it doesn't work for your family at that salary.

Can you consider working around your dh's hours. if he does regular 9-5 then you could look for an evening or weekend job. Even if unskilled or minimum wage it would be extra cash and no childcare costs if dh was there to look after the kids.
To be honest this is the way that most of the families with young kids work to make ends meet. We've done this for the past 17 years !!

Which part of Reading is head office ?

@Ahickiefromkinickie - my cousin got a 2 bed flat for 100k with a 90 per cent mortgage. Saved the deposit for that over 2 years I think. Admittedly it's not in the best area but you have to make do. He has 2 girls so they can share a room.

I will say that I also hate negotiating and will do anything to avoid it, hence having always been paid crap wages, in fact at one stage I took a pay cut for four successive jobs, and it will take me until ds is 16 before I earn the same as I was earning when I got pregnant.

If your FIL has told you that they would definitely offer more wages, I'd be quite tempted to ring him up and say 'So why don't you?' There's making your children make your own way in the world and there's being a dick to your grandchildren.

There are some nice areas to raise a family around there. And lots of variety in price. Reading is very well connected on trains so you can get to lots of places with short commute. Where is the office roughly? City centre, near junction 10 or 11? I think it sounds like your husband needs to sort his priorities out though. In your position I would be pissed off too and probably would be considering whether I wanted to move with him.

Uppityhumpty - blimey, married, with 2 kids and own flat, earns 42k and only 22?! Wish I knew his secret!

Ellisandra I look at payroll cross country plus the supporting documentation behind changes. Clients I have are employers of people making $10/hr to millions each year through exec contracts. I sample through all of the population.

OP - I can see how your DH feels awkward asking for more but he really shouldn't. This isn't personal, it is business. He has a family to support and if he isn't paid enough he will need to work elsewhere where he can earn enough to support his family or enable you to work.

42k is not a lot of money in Reading. My husband and I earn 70k between us and debating whether or not we can afford to have a baby any time soon...

@Violetcharlotte - when a Hindu boy gets his Hindu girlfriend pregnant at 17 they have to get married lol. It was a shotgun wedding! He's self-employed - works as a contractor and has since he was 18. 42k is considered really low in his industry but he's building experience so all good. I think anything's possible if you want to do it, OP doesn't which is cool. But yeah I think Reading can be doable on that salary.

Uppityhumpty ah I see! Sounds like he's made good of the situation though. Fair play to him!

@UppityHumpty I actually stated in an earlier comment in the thread that I wouldn't mind if we didn't have to downsize for it and if I knew we would be alright financially.
In the scenario we're in now the kids and I move backwards while my husband moves forwards and it seems that's continuously the case.

I live in Reading and tgat is just not enough to rent alot of houses here.
He needs to ask for more ot say no really