42k in Reading?

[NervousNellie29]

AIBU to think that a family of four will struggle to survive on a salary of 42k a year pretax while renting?

No you will be fine it depends how you cut your cloth. I live very near to reading in town with direct to waterloo rail link and earn less than that, no tax credits etc and we do fine.

However if you are looking to buy/rent in reading get in fast RG1 area is rocketing in price due to crossrail.

No you will be fine it depends how you cut your cloth. I live very near to reading in town with direct to waterloo rail link and earn less than that, no tax credits etc and we do fine.

However if you are looking to buy/rent in reading get in fast RG1 area is rocketing in price due to crossrail.

@smu06set Where on earth do you live?? I live ten minutes from reading and pay £875 for a two bed flat above a shop!!!!

@smu06set we need your secret!!!!

@PyongyangKipperbang I've tried saying all of that. He wouldn't answer on the refusal to move question. It's a very frustrating situation. I'm waiting to bring it up again until we're with the counsellor

Then say that you are not going. He cant keep ignoring it. Refuse to get involved in the discussion, dont agree to look at houses and make it clear that you are not going anywhere.

I think that you do need to stand up for yourself, people can only walk all over you if you lie down in front of them.

If employer wants him near the office then they need to cough up extra.

Time to get firm with DH.

YABU. Living and working in Reading, 47k would be plenty

I imagine if the DH goes in and says he needs more money so they can have extra bedrooms when they have visitors, it won't go down well.........

It sounds like this is a DH attitude thing more than a cost of living thing. To that end, while some of the suggestions have been helpful, they're not tackling your underlying issue.

I'd look at other areas nearby, Woking, Basingstoke, Fleet, Farnborouhh, Newbury etc...

@UppityHumpty where have you gotten 47k? I said 42k BEFORE tax, he also has student loans that come out of his pay monthly.

@happypoobum I haven't said extra bedrooms. I said extra space for when visitors come. A 2 bedroom IMO for my family alone without visitors just isn't reasonable.

I meant 42k, was a typo. That's how much my 22 yo cousin's earning in Reading - before tax- he just bought a nice flat without using any money from mum & dad and leads a really comfortable life, walks to work etc. Of course 42k pa when you're commuting to London is not going to be as great.

Both your kids are under 3 - a 2 bed is fine! If this is a good progression move. Doing it whilst they're young so fit a smaller house and aren't in school is the perfect time.

I do think you'll struggle to be honest, I just about get by on that with just me and 2 teenagers, my rent is £1000, it'll be more than that in Reading for a 3 bed. If you're relationships not great I wouldn't do it as money pressure will make things even worse.

UppityHumpty that would be great if OP was a single 22 year old, but as a family of four a flat and walking everywhere is not necessarily going to work, plus of course they have all the extra expenses of being a family, having to feed and clothe four of them etc.

Uppityhumpty does your cousin have a partner a 2 children? £42k for a family of 4 is a bit different to £42k for a single person.

I can see why he wants to keep moving up the career ladder, I think you need to find s cheaper house to rent. I tend to view jobs as stepping stones though. You need to work out your budget then work out how much you can afford to pay on rent and then pick a house accordingly.

My cousin is married with 2 kids yes

TBH I'm tired of moving. I don't want to move again after this move unless we're buying a house, which I don't see happening anytime soon as we've got no money basically lol. I want to be somewhere that we can all be comfortable and happy for however long we need to be there.
I know it probably sounds ridiculous but I would rather him negotiate to get an amount a bit more reasonable for 4 people to live off of than have to compromise my and the kids comfort and happiness.
And I know a 2 bed sounds reasonable to a lot of you but that would not work with my kids and the way they are/sleep. We have a 3 bed where we are now and as stupid as it sounds I don't want to have to downsize. This is what we've gotten used to space-wise and TBH I don't think we could fit all of our stuff in a 2 bed
I've already given up my support system in the US to be in the UK for his career and now giving up my UK support system for another career move. I feel like I just keep having the give things up and that what I want and the kids want/need doesn't matter. (I know that's an entirely different issue)

I just want to be happy and comfortable and feel like we are ALL actually moving forward.

I probably sound like a massive brat as I'm struggling to word all of this properly

Forgot to mention this is our third move in a year and a half

YANBU A friend of mine just turned down a job in Reading on a salary of 42k because she couldn't make the figures stack up (one child and SAHP). They live very frugally too, they weren't budgeting in many treats.

Well it is different if you're tired of moving. Then just tell your DH that enough's enough really. He could take a hit and commute to a major city for a huge pay increase or stay put and accept a lower salary until the kids are a bit older & you can return to work. However don't frame it as Reading being expensive to live because tbh it's like any place - some areas are nicer than others. Just be honest with him & firmly tell him you're not moving!

If there is no money left for food then how does he think it will be fine?

Nellie I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Why should you have to compromise all the time because of your husbands job? Your needs are just important as his.