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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be dreading the long weekend ?

37 replies

thinkiwanttolivealone · 13/04/2017 16:49

After 23 years of marriage I have my own place for the first time. I do love it it most of the time but this is my first long weekend on my own.
I'm self employed & work from home so don't see many people on a day to day basis. Finances are absolutely pitiful.
Its only 4.45 & it already seems like I have hours stretching ahead of me.
Nearly all my friends have fabulous plans with their families.
Sorry for the poor me party - just feeling bored and generally blurgh

OP posts:

wobblywonderwoman · 13/04/2017 16:52

So sorry for your relationship breakdown but going from your username you are probably happier in your own skin.

I am married but often do things alone. Can you plan some things for yourself. Cinema. Coffee shop. Library. Upcycling project. Bake. None of those should be overly costly.

Mrsemcgregor · 13/04/2017 16:53

I can imagine how you are feeling but why not try and turn it into a 4 day pamper session.

Binge on Netflix, have long shaky baths, read an awesome book, eat your favourite foods etc etc

FooFighter99 · 13/04/2017 16:53

Try and get out as much as you can then, go for walks and see if you can meet some new people. See if there are any events on in your area that you can go to.

Don't become a shut-in

Youdontwanttodothat · 13/04/2017 16:53

Sorry you feel shit. I can suggest a couple of cheap self indulgences if you like. Feel free to ignore:

A long bath whenever the feck you want with whatever smelly stuff you have available;
A movie
A trip to a castle/country park

Bet others have better ideas.

Mrsemcgregor · 13/04/2017 16:53

soaky baths. Not sure how a shaky bath would work!

Honeybee79 · 13/04/2017 16:58

Some nice walks and dvds/netflix? Or, cheap bike hire and a cycle?

"Occasions" can be hard if you live alone, but perhaps see it as a chance to treat yourself really well and restore your energy levels with fresh air and relaxation.

Reow · 13/04/2017 17:02

Wine!

Winniethepooer · 13/04/2017 17:04

Do you know how much I'd give to have 4 days to myself?

Its years since i had any time to myself.

I'm a SP 4 dc, 2 with ASD & ADHD. I dread the weekend too...

I would spoil yourself all weekend. Lo g baths, lots of sleep, fade packs. Yummy snacks that type of thing!

Winniethepooer · 13/04/2017 17:04

Sorry for typos

MatildaTheCat · 13/04/2017 17:07

I bet your friends do not all have fabulous plans for every minute of the four day break. Many would be glad of a couple of hours away.

Why not send a text to a few friends saying, 'anyone free for a coffee/ walk over the next few days? Love to hear from you if you are around.' I'd be surprised if nobody gets back to you.

Get a couple of box sets lined up, plan a couple of nice meals to cook and if you are still setting up your new place maybe use the time to get one of the rooms just right if you've not done that yet?

Hope it works out well for you.

scrappydappydoo · 13/04/2017 17:12

Could you set yourself challenges for these occasions? E.g do the whole of of one of the long distance paths, decorate a room, do an online course, knit a sweater or if you're feeling lazy watch an entire box set all in one long weekend... Sort of keeping yourself busy but with a focus and a goal iyswim

user1471465428 · 13/04/2017 17:21

I'm dreading it too working nights in A&E!!
Would love to be off on n my own or with my family!

TheFirstMrsDV · 13/04/2017 17:25

I don't think its very helpful to turn this into some sort of competition.

The OP's feelings are just as valid as anyone else's.
Loneliness is a horrible thing.

Kokusai · 13/04/2017 17:25

I think scrappydappydoo has good ideas. Have a mini project to keep yourself a bit focused sounds good.

Pigflewpast · 13/04/2017 17:39

Matilda's idea of the text is a good one. I've been in your situation and it does feel more like a year at the start of the weekend. Also the idea of some sort of project, or at least somewhere to go or something to achieve each day. Failing that a blooming good book.
Long term, is there any sort of activity you've always fancied but never done? Any weekly classes or sports? Time to look into it.

heron98 · 13/04/2017 17:43

I am also on my own. I plan on doing lots of cycling and tiring myself out and coming back, watching films and sleeping. I don't mind it. But then I work in an office so it's nice to get away.

hollieberrie · 13/04/2017 17:43

Hi OP,

from me, i can totally relate. I've had a tricky couple of years adjusting to life alone and have found Christmas, Easter & bank holidays very very diffuclt.

Can I recommend Meetup.com? Its been so helpful for me. I joined a few groups in Jan and its been great. There are lots of different groups doing different things and when you go you meet so many people in a smiliar boat - new to the area / recently divorced / long term single / widowed etc. I'd recommend it to anyone feeling lonely. I've even made one friend through it (woo!) who i now meet for coffee, cinema etc. She is also finding life a bit lonely and its so nice to have met her.

Hang in there, i know its hard.

HappyFlappy · 13/04/2017 17:45

Bloody hell! As a wife, mother and dog and cat owner, the thought of a long weekend with no-one to think about except myself sounds FABULOUS!*

Yes - it can be lonely on your own, but it can be very liberating and peaceful, too. You have said that this is your first long weekend by yourself and I think that this is the biggest part of your problem - there is always an expectation that you "should" be doing something special, but really that isn't so. You can just take the opportunity to relax and veg and do what you like when you like. Treat yourself whatever you want to do - and enjoy it. If you have a friend in a similar situation perhaps the two you could meet up and have a Grand Day Out.

*I appreciate that getting a break from family is hugely different from being alone all of the time and I apologise if I sound flippant, and I don't know why you are now alone (widowed or divorced) because that will make difference, too - but please try to see this as an opportunity to find things to do in your new circumstances, rather than being worried because you have time to fill.

Mermaidinthesea123 · 13/04/2017 17:46

I'm getting divorced after a similar length of time and I can't tell you how wonderful I feel about this weekend. I'll be on my own by choice, I don't want to see anyone. Just laze about in my PJs all day and do whatever the hell I want :-)
You need a really good hobby think I want to livealone. I build 1:48 scale dosshouses, it's cheap and absorbs me for hours.
Chill out, relax, enjoy there is no man around so you can hang out and do whatever you want.

hollieberrie · 13/04/2017 17:49

I REALLY don't think its at all helpful for people to keep saying, bloody hell I'd kill for a long weekend by myself...

Jeaniusly · 13/04/2017 17:49

When we feel lonely everyone else's lives look so interesting and full of camaraderie. They probably aren't in reality. STAY AWAY FROM FACEBOOK. Sorry for shouting, but just stay away from it.

I started a thread recently on whether we are introverts or extroverts. To me, being on my own for four whole days would be bliss, after the week I've had dealing with every sodding problem on the planet!

If I do have time to myself I just laze about for day one, day two go to town and have a nosey around the shops, have coffee, read the kindle, that kind of thing. Fully recharged I can then deal with all the odds and sods afterwards!

But we are all different.

Violetcharlotte · 13/04/2017 17:56

Sorry you're feeling lonely. I'm a single
parent and used to feel very much alone on long weekends when my children were little. It always seems like everyone is having a great time with family and friends.

If none of your friends are free and you've not got a lot of money, then my suggestions are:

Avoid Facebook. Seeing pictures of everyone's happy family days out will just piss you off.
Plan your weekend. Make a list of things you want to achieve. Use it as a chance to declutter, sort the garden out, do odd jobs, etc.
Exercise. Always makes me feel better and more tired so I sleep better.
Walk. Get out to the countryside or better still, down to the coast if you can for some fresh air.
TV. Find a good series on Netflix to get into, rather than watching crap.
Read. Find a good book you can lost in.
Mumsnet! No doubt there will be plenty of people on here moaning about their kids and ILs so you'll feel smug to be avoiding all that!

Original poster

thinkiwanttolivealone · 13/04/2017 17:57

Thank you all for your replies - I really do appreciate how valuable 4 days on your own would be for most people.
I walked to my local shop - smiled and said hello to everyone i saw.
I've chopped myself some logs & intend to have a lovely 'soaky" bath followed by a PJ night binging in front of the fire & TV.
I've set myself the task of sorting through still packed boxes & trying to sell any crap that could be someone else treasure !
I've sent a text out to see if anyone fancies a impromtu coffee over the next few days (thank you for the suggestion).
I usually work 7.30am - 9pm so I'm going to catch up on some much needed sleep.
thanks again

OP posts:

Yellowbird54321 · 13/04/2017 18:00

1:48 scale dosshouses,

LineysRun · 13/04/2017 18:01

I want a shaky log bath now :)

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