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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To think post natal wards are absolute shit?

328 replies

SprogletsMum · 12/04/2017 17:43

I had ds2 this morning and have been put onto a full 4 bay ward.

2 of the 3 other women have been quiet most of the day but one keeps ringing people all day long. There has not been a single minute of quiet all day.
I've been awake since 1am and I'm shattered but she just won't shut up.
I'm going home to the other 3 dc for some peace and quiet as soon as ds2s 12 hours of obs are up.

OP posts:
Thatextrainch · 12/04/2017 20:38

Fanatical- it would depend on your hospital. The one I gave birth at a private room was available for £175 (I think) a night but first come first served and the midwives made it very clear that mothers whose babies were in special care or had died had priority over the rooms. I was very fortunate to give birth on a quiet day and was able to have a room but I still had a lot of interruptions (although obviously nothing like what has been listed above)

SpaghettiMeatballs · 12/04/2017 20:41

Fanatical I asked both times and was happy to pay anything but they were allocated on the basis of clinical need first (fair enough). They were all already allocated both times. sigh

PN ward dreadful for me with both DCs. After my first I ended up making another woman tea and toast for breakfast as she'd had a CS, couldn't walk and no amount of buzzing or asking staff was producing anything for her to eat or drink.

UndersecretaryofWhimsy · 12/04/2017 20:42

YANBU I had a fantastic experience giving birth in the midwife led suite and a fucking awful two nights on postnatal. Same issues everyone has mentioned. I didn't sleep at all for more than 48hrs and thought I would start to hallucinate. We begged for a private room but there were none and there was no option to pay. God knows what would have happened if we'd had to stay longer.

For the next time, I have made two solemn promises to myself; 1) if I can possibly swing it I will homebirth and not spend a single minute in hospital; 2) if all else fails, I am going somewhere they will accept hard cash in exchange for a private room.

namechangedtoday15 · 12/04/2017 20:43

I didn't have to pay for a private room after I'd delivered, but I think that was because I had babies on NICU.

My sister (different hospital) could book well in advance (not sure how that works unless you're having a section so know the date of delivery) but it was something like £500 a night - to go on a private wing where everyone had their own room.

MaryCrawley · 12/04/2017 20:43

Postnatal is hell. Apart from the dirt, lack of staff, noise, annoying visitors overstaying their times and complete lack of privacy, I felt like I was being an annoyance for asking to be fed.

I was nil by mouth for 36 hours before having DS (although they gave me a drip - yay Hmm), and eventually made it to the ward at 11pm after an EMCS, practically delirious from hunger.

No food available, no sandwiches in the fridge, and no, DH wasn't allowed to bring me anything in at that time as visiting was over.

Had to wait all night until the breakfast tea and toast - honestly, the hunger kept me awake more than the section wound.

If I wasn't high risk for future pregnancies, I'd home birth all the way.

littleshoutymouse · 12/04/2017 20:45

YANBU ... being dumped on a post natal ward of at least 7 other beds, post EMCS, still paralysed, with my baby in SCBU while everyone else sat and had their visitors and looked after their newborns. Having a cry behind a flimsy blue curtain into a pillow so I wouldn't embarrass myself. It was the loneliest I've ever felt in my life.

SailAwaySailAwaySailAway · 12/04/2017 20:46

Yep. Vile.
I've also found trauma wards and offshoot gynae wards to be vile too. My recent hospital stay has made me fear to be an inpatient again. My 'highlights' include a machine breaking down mid op and the poor woman having breast surgery waking up to find she'd have to go through it all again? How about the poor demented elderly woman wandering the ward and corridor naked and attempting to pull the tubes out of a woman who'd just had a hysterectomy. And the rest of us being afraid to sleep for the next few nights.
YY to the PN wards being shite but in my experience the others are no better.
I'm still having physio because of the damage caused while I was an inpatient and that's not even for the op I had but didn't need.

Sorry. I'm still angry.Sad

JellyWitch · 12/04/2017 20:48

I got a private room for 6 days because my son was under NICU care. I was supposed to be charged for it but the awesome nurse ripped up and "lost" the invoice.

It was isolating, bathrooms and loos were filthy, too hot, interrupted sleep for obs, no breastfeeding help and the bf clinic next door was closed the week I was in too.

Second baby was born at home.

QueenLaBeefah · 12/04/2017 20:51

YANBU

hot, filthy, over crowded, horrible staff, strip lighting, irritating visitors, shite food.

Bear Grylls should make his next programme about staying in a postnatal ward - he'd last about 4 hrs.

Drmum123 · 12/04/2017 20:55

I have to go a bit against the flow here. I had a fairly OK time with my last three babies. Has C sections each time and everyone was so lovely. Staff were very friendly and really helpful. With my last baby they even worked hard to get him latched on in theatre. Pain relief was offered regularly and got promptly when I asked and all food was bought to me. I. Always like to get up quite quickly after section and they were helpful with this. Also I was happy with my curtains open most of the time as I like the light and chatting with people and am happy to feed discreetly under a wrap (fourth baby), but people constantly offered to close them for me. When they were closed I had a big red clip I could put on them and everyone asked whether it was OK to come in before coming in. Obviously there are always bits which are unpleasant (having to shuffle to the communal toilet etc) but overall I felt like my privacy and dignity were respected and that everyone was lovely! I am a bit shocked that everyone else seems to have such terrible experiences! Having said that I naturally recovered quickly and well and like to do a lot for myself..... So maybe if I had needed more it wouldn't have been so good! Also I work in a hospital so was comfortable in the environment, which helps I think helps a lot.

Macey78 · 12/04/2017 20:56

I had DD1 in 2010 and by the time I was being sent on to the ward there were no beds available and therefore given a private room. For me this was totally amazing having my own shower DH and family coming to visit me and not being in anyone's way. I was particularly lucky it may have been a quieter period I just couldn't get dd to settle latch on and was so tired that the midwives scooped dd away and allowed me to have a few hours uninterrupted sleep. The next day the midwife showed me how to bath dd and helped with this. It was totally amazing.

Fast forward to 2015, I ended up having an emergency c section. Plonked on a very noisy ward with absolutely no one being quite at all. People on their mobile phones all the time. Absolutely no privacy from the curtains. Problems with latching on. Stitches causing me agony! I went though a spell of low mood perhaps even post natal depression. Enough to cause the health visitor concern to come and visit me at home twice weekly.

Had I been more supported post natally I do feel the low I felt after birth may not have been so strong and in a way feel sad. This is to be last birth and was hoping it would have been as positive as the first time.

Sorry for the long post

Shadowboy · 12/04/2017 21:00

Both times I gave birth I had 2 nights and it was fab! I was (both times) in a private room and when little one was getting obsessed with feeding (both times) they took her away for 2 hours to give me a. Lock of sleep. Food was fine and free tea and coffee in the communal kitchen area to help yourself to.

Littlecaf · 12/04/2017 21:04

My post natal ward was hot, noisy, understaffed, and totally unwelcoming and alien. Yes there was a nice side room where you could make tea, toast & watch tv but the actual ward was horrible and I couldn't wait to get out of there. The experience contributed to the 3 weeks or so of baby blues.

The midwifes were nice, but a couple were too brusk, shoving DS & me around, demanding various tests and tutting when I couldn't remember when I'd fed him last. The nicest person I spoke to was the Bounty lady. She was fab and not pushy, just a nice person to chat to for 15 mins.

I'm asking for the midwife led unit with DC2.

Sylvannas · 12/04/2017 21:05

I found it okay ..ish.
Only 1 other woman in the ward but her partner was staying overnight with her and had the loudest snore I ever heard! Kept waking up my DS. The care was fine, took all of the next day to have me discharged dispite being low risk. Also the least said about the food the better!!

LittleWingSoul · 12/04/2017 21:06

I had such a bad experience with DD1 - blood on blankets, cockroach in shared bathroom, sweltering heat, dismissive staff etc. that with DS2 I discharged myself 24 hours after an EMCS as I thought I felt fine.

I was of course floating on cloud cuckoo because of the morphine. In hindsight, the second experience, which was at Aylesbury, was really very good and it was a big mistake discharging myself because I could have done with that morphine, round the clock care and absence of other DC and family members for at least another... Hmm... 297 days?!

It's very sad that the majority of experiences on this thread are so awful.

Good luck OP, hope you get out soon. And congratulations!! Flowers

beargrass · 12/04/2017 21:06

YANBU. Like everyone else, why are they so goddamn hot? If the MW came and saw you at home and it was that temperature, they'd tell you in no uncertain terms to turn your heating down! I was like Confused

Laniakea · 12/04/2017 21:08

Bear Grylls should make his next programme about staying in a postnatal ward

ooooh ... yes ... it would have to me quite a long preparation to get the authentic experience though. A few months puking & being exhausted and in pain followed by being starved and beaten for three days with no sleep, then drain off a litre or so of blood to come close.

I had a private room with dc2 & 3 - various difficulties meant that it was gratis & made the experience less horrendous. There weren't any rooms available with dc1 & with the last two I was on the list (£450 a night NHS ward) but a room didn't become available. I really wouldn't bank on getting one.

Italwaysworksitselfout · 12/04/2017 21:13

Oh I'm really anxious about this. I'm booked in for 3 weeks time for my 4th cs. My first 2 were 26 and 24 years ago and the care recieved was spot on. Granted I was very young but I was kept in for 7 days and rules were rules. The nurses were on hand to help with everything. I had a private room on both occasions for 2 days and then moved to a bay. Matron was very strict and there was no mobile phones obviously.
Dd was born 15 years ago and I was straight onto a bay ward with very noisy patients, one who was intent on having me involved in a domestic with her oh. I had an infection after but there was no one on hand to help. One midwife chastised me for not being able to express by hand and roughly tried herself as if I was wasting her time.
I'm really anxious this time and hopefully if everything goes to plan I will be signing myself out asap

TheLadyhasarrived · 12/04/2017 21:22

I found the post natal care with DD so unpleasant that I'm really scared and anxious about having another csection in August.

DH is a consultant in the trust where I will have the baby and although that means we have medical care from colleagues he works closely with, it also means that other staff think I'm up myself.
Last time the midwife and the receptionist were discussing me at the desk and why did I have a section, why did I get a single room etc but I could hear them. It was horrible as I don't expect anything more than anyone else, we just happen to know some of the medical staff.

I lie awake at night now worrying about it.

Unihorn · 12/04/2017 21:23

Absolutely hideous for me too. The first night after my EMCS I was on a really nice quiet postnatal ward on the labour ward. The next night I was moved to the normal ward and it was awful. I was struggling to move, couldn't BF because of the pain and my baby literally screamed at the top of her voice for 5 hours. The woman opposite me had to ask for a private room in fact. My blood pressure was really high because I was so stressed out and upset. It was the worst night of my life and I had no idea what to do.

JonSnowsWhore · 12/04/2017 21:26

They're like something that should have gone out with the Victorian times, quite barbaric really! You're the most tired you've ever been in your life, people snoring, babies crying waking up other babies & new mums so no one can sleep, awful.
I'm going to try & book a private room this time but as everyone else has said they can be given to people with more need first 🙈

Can you actually self discharge with the baby with no repercussions? I always imagined social services or something coming after you if you discharged yourself with a new baby (providing there were no health risks to the baby obviously)

Polly2345 · 12/04/2017 21:33

I only have one dc but I had experience of three different wards (two in the same hospital) in the first two weeks of her life and they were all v different.

Postnatal ward: I'd had a caesearean so was there for two nights. The food was actually pretty good on this one. A lovely orderly always brought it to me - at first I still had a catheter so couldn't get up to go for it. I'm wheat intolerant and she was great at making sure I got the right food. One night the midwife offered to take my LO for a few hours so I got some sleep. When i woke up and went to get her she was looking after four or five of them - they were all peacefully sleeping in their cribs around her desk! At one point a lady had several noisy family members around her bed and they were still there half an hour after visiting ended. The midwife came and was v no-nonsense - told them to leave pronto and told them off for disturbing others and for having a non-related child with them (were only supposed to have siblings I think).

I did spend the first two hours in a four bed bay then got shifted to a much bigger bay. They were really apologetic about moving me about. The other three women in the four bed bay didn't have their babies with them because they were all in intensive care or a special unit. The staff were doing their best to make sure women with their babies (like me) weren't in with them as that could upset them. But at the point I arrived on the ward that was the only bed going. When they moved me they explained (once I was in the new bay and out of earshot of the women who didn't have their babies) that they had moved me as soon as they could to a bay where women did have their babies with them.

It was far too hot - I swear the NHS could make a huge dent in it's deficit by turning down its heating! The last time I went to our emergency walk in centre I thought I was going to pass out from the heat! And the Bounty Lady really got me cross! She convinced the woman opposite me to have her photos taken then later this woman get really upset about how much it had cost. And she acted as if she was a member of hospital staff until I bluntly asked her if she was or not! They just shouldn't be allowed on postnatal wards - we all have cameras on our phones now for goodness sake!

After two days I was ready to be discharged and asked instead to go to a local community hospital. At this hospital you can have a natural birth if you've had a straightforward pregnancy (I hadn't and I wanted a more conventional hospital birth anyway) but you can also go there for recovery for up to three nights regardless of what kind of birth you had or where you gave birth. I went because friends had highly recommended it, but this is where I had problems! They were so obsessed with me breastfeeding (which in all fairness was what i said I wanted to do) that they failed to notice my milk just hadn't arrived so my LO was basically starving. Their idea of a wheat free diet was to just not give me carbs! With hindsight this is almost certainly why my milk wasn't arriving - in the end I did mostly breastfeed for nearly 17 months and I was always hungry for carbs! And a lady who was discharged a few hours before I got there had apparently spend all her time talking loudly on the phone with no one asking her to stop.

On the plus side it was a bit like 'home from home' - my husband watched telly with other Dad's in the dining room while holding the baby and I had a nap; we served ourselves dinner when it arrived, we could bath our babies etc etc. Partners were allowed for most of the day but they were all asked to go away for a couple of hours in the afternoon while we rested quietly. This was their opportunity to go get lunch and the quiet was lovely!

We went home on day four and on day five the midwife came and discovered my LO had lots 18% of her birth weight - she couldn't believe I'd spent time at the community hospital and no one had noticed I had no milk. So we were admitted to the Children's Ward for three nights - half way through our stay a Sister told my Mum we hadn't been send back to the postnatal ward because once you leave the hospital your baby is considered 'dirty' and can't go back to postnatal. What lovely terminology to use about a newborn!

On this ward I got wheat free food but for some bizarre reason the kitchen also always pureed it! But at least it was filling. There was also a constant supply of snacks (they only fed the kids and the breastfeed mums - other parents had to go to the canteen, so they had loads of snacks for the kids as some were too ill to eat at meal times but perked up at other times). I basically spent all my time hoovering up all the snacks and lo and behold my milk started to arrive.

The staff on this ward were lovely but the bed manager put us on a ward full of sick, contagious kids. My LO was five days old and hadn't had any jabs and was quite ill from having spent her first five days starving! The nurses were livid - one of them was in tears because she wasn't allowed to put us in a private room even when one became available. Our consultant told me to be 'as anti social as possible' - basically keep the curtains around our bed closed at all times and not mingle with the sick kids and their families. They got an incubator for my LO - it wasn't being powered, it just meant she was in an environment that was slightly protected from the rest of the ward. But that made it hard to hold her and bond her so I ended up taking her out of it half the time to avoid bonding issues further down the line. When I left the nurse handed me a feedback form and told me to use it to complain, which I did!

No one got any sleep on the kid's ward , so that's not specific to postnatal wards. I had to pump every three hours and then wake my little girl up to feed her and in the process I'm sure I woke everyone up. Sick children don't sleep - so there was always someone awake and making noise, the parents slept on creaky fold out beds next to their child's hospital bed (I was in a proper hospital bed because obviously my LO was too small for it). The night shift consultant often had to wake patients for various reasons - he had to try to get blood out of my little girl half way between our three hourly feeds in the dead of the night - I could have killed him for waking us and in my exhaustion I wound up screaming at him and woke the whole ward in the process, but he was getting funny results from her blood samples and desperately needed to find out why. After that one of the nurses let me sleep for six hours and did the three hourly feeds for me. I woke to find all the nurses cooing over my LO at their nurse's station. They also let my husband sleep in the day room which I don't think they were supposed to do, but it kept us together a family. My bed was right next to a telly that played CBeebies at high volume for 13 hours a day, then they told me to get as much sleep as a I could!!! Again - they wanted to put me in a private room so I could get quiet and rest and get my milk supply up, but the bed manager wouldn't let them. Apparently my LO was the patient not me so they weren't allowed to take account of my needs despite my LO's treatment involving being bresatfed by me as much as possible!!! I couldn't watch telly for a few months afterwards - it made me think of being kept awake by the sound of kid's programmes when I was desperate to sleep!

They discharged us when my LO's weight was getting better and within a few days of getting home my milk supply was great. I just needed peace and quiet and good food to get there - and I only really got both of those things once we were both home.

Overall, my experience was that most staff were simply doing the best they could with limited resources.

Polly2345 · 12/04/2017 21:34

Oh my! Sorry for the essay. Didn't realise I'd written so much. It's quite carthartic though!

MrsELM21 · 12/04/2017 21:39

Hideous, boiling hot, super busy, really loud, nobody cares if its day or night it just carries on regardless!

However, amazing for people watching if you're really nosey like me, but absolutely desperate to get out of there both times!!

greencarbluecar · 12/04/2017 21:54

YANBU. I feel sick even thinking about it and reading through the similar stories on this thread. Got out of there asap and that was still far too long.

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