To think post natal wards are absolute shit?

[SprogletsMum]

I had ds2 this morning and have been put onto a full 4 bay ward.

2 of the 3 other women have been quiet most of the day but one keeps ringing people all day long. There has not been a single minute of quiet all day.
I've been awake since 1am and I'm shattered but she just won't shut up.
I'm going home to the other 3 dc for some peace and quiet as soon as ds2s 12 hours of obs are up.

I'd also like to clarify your use of the term snowflakes expat. So let me get this straight. I'm a snowflake for wishing my partner could stay overnight because I've just had a c-section, I've been given only oral paracetamol as pain relief, and I have a catheter in and can't move? Also my baby is in serious danger of being dropped, because I can't put her down in her cot - or I won't be able to get her back up again - and I haven't slept for 24 hours and am virtually hallucinating with pain (and a massive infection brewing, though i don't know that yet). If I dare to ring the bell, all I ever get is an HCA with a face like thunder who fobs me off with 'I'll tell the midwife', then vanishes back into the ether.

In the context of this thread, the word snowflake is really breathtakingly offensive. Yes, I get that there are problems with having partners to stay. I get that it's an excuse for inadequate staffing. It shouldn't be that way, and I certainly wish I could have waved my partner off for a good night's sleep in the certain knowledge that there was safe and responsive staffing in place for myself and my newborn.

But as it was, I wanted my partner to stay because when he left me on that godforsaken postnatal ward I spent the most terrifying and lonely night of my life, and I include in that having previously given birth three and half months prematurely. And you're seriously saying that all this constitutes me being a 'snowflake'? And what's more, somebody calling you out on it is 'scolding'? Fucking hell, that's pretty bad.

Yanbu! My first DD, 12 years ago- antenatal were largely OK - only poor experience was a midwife joking that she couldn't find a heartbeat when I was experiencing reduced movement at 38weeks. Needless to say i didn't find it funny! Labour heavily monitored as meconium in water. Midwives great...led to ventouse delivery as DD stargazing and stuck! Doctor used massive amount of pressure and DD had a cephalic heamotoma (sp?) discharged after 24hrs but returned to hospital at 3 days with poor feeding, jaundice and high white blood cell count. 8 days in a side room off of scbu - no postnatal care for me but great care for DD from all midwives and most doctors bar one who must have left his empathy and compassion in a box at home for special occasions! The care we received on the postnatal ward following birth and before readmittance was eye opening. It was obvious there were not enough staff and the midwives who were on the wards were trying their best but finding it almost impossible to provide proper care. I had never even held a baby before DD was born and I remember feeling so worried and out of my depth, in pain (tearing and episiotomy) and as though I was a hindrance. Asked for pain relief and never got it, asked for water and it took 4 hours! Struggled to get DD to latch etc and help wasnt there. A few of the midwives were very rough, curt and rude. Vowed I would never go back!
Dd2 now 8, admitted 3 days antenatal for HELLP syndrome at a different hospital this time, resulting in an induction. Staff were amazing! I had my own little side room and induction started on Friday afternoon, nothing happened until Sunday other than an awful lot of monitoring and pessaries! So glam! However DH was allowed to sleep on the floor/ chair as everyone thought things would go quickly and we built a lovely rapport with them, I felt safe, cared about and as though they had good control over my care - a stark contrast to my previous experience - when things did finally progress I had 4 contractions and wanted to push! Cue the midwife looking at me as if I'd lost my mind ! After a quick examination and a pull of the emergency cord (I was in a bath in a sideroom to delivery) DD flew into the world! We were the talk of the hospital! Many of the midwives who we'd met over our 3 days came to meet DD at the end of their shifts. Postnatally great care as well. Couldn't fault them.
Otoh pregnancy 3 ended in miscarriage at 16 weeks during which I had a hemorridge (sp? Atrocious spelling here tonight!) and needed resuscitation in a&e followed by emergency surgery. After this gynaecology was full so they left me in a sideroom in maternity, all I could hear were people's babies crying and mine was gone. Dreadful experience.
Pregnancy 4 resulted in DD3 and DS! Twins! Now almost 6. As breech and transverse delivered by planned section at 38 weeks (should have been 37 weeks but a midwife at clinic forgot to book it, we turned up for our 36 week app't and got screamed at for not having a section date!) Theatre staff and midwives lovely. Transferred to postnatal ward whilst still numb and unable to move. Both babies put on me rugby hold (tandem feeding), buzzer out of reach but useless anyway as baby in each hand!), curtain left open and midwife left I had to get the woman in the bed opposite to ring to remove a baby from me and close my curtain so the frowning man from the next bay didn't have such an eyeful! Very vulnerable! Babies tag teamed the screaming the first night - I felt awful for the other ladies on the ward but we were left to it. Second night a lady with very poor English was placed in the ward and her baby screamed and screamed and she did nothing, literally NOTHING to comfort poor baby. Cue lots of doctors shouting at her 'You have to feed your baby' over and over. She didn't understand. Shouting wasn't going to translate for her! I felt sorry for her and her baby as she seemed so scared and vulnerable we tried to sign to her to do the same as we picked up our babies and fed them. I found it hard to get into a routine and was so tired, I was terrified when early on day 3 they said they needed the bed back so we were out. I was just about walking upright by this point!
With 4DC I'm not going to be finding myself in the delivery suite again until it's time for DGC of which I can only hope to be blessed in the future but I do hope that my children and their future partners experiences are like that I had with DD2.

Yes, me too. It absolutely was hell on earth.

I won't write about what happened to me, as I can feel my blood pressure rising and I'm getting tearful just reading this thread.

Suffice to say, after having a terrible birth (understatement, I almost died), I believe the postnatal care is what tipped me over the edge to PTSD and being suicidal with PND. This was almost 9 years ago and I still feel the effects mentally.

Complete and utter cruelty by the post natal team at Darent Valley. I'll never step foot inside that hospital again.

Sometimes you can get a separate room free if you've been unwell. My DD developed sepsis in labour and had a category 1 c section, basically she crashed. She was in over a week and on IV drip and the sister said she was to refuse to pay if NHS sent her a bill for the room. They didn't. It made a big difference to her recovery I think.

Someone should send this thread to the Government, what a disgrace that these experiences are UK 2017! When I had my DC 30+ years ago all was calm and order with matron laying down the rules. We had a rest time when we all had to lie down and rest. It was like the army but calm and clean.

YANBU. My DS was in Scubu so for the first 4 days I was in a ward on my own, next to scubu. When he came out we went onto a normal ward, half the size and heaving, heating full blast, sweaty beds, lights on an staff with the radio on all night chatting loudly. They misdiagnosed DS and sent him back to Scubu, who rolled their eyes and apologised that the ward nurses were pretty clueless. I felt completely trapped and begged to go home asap. Scubu were however brilliant with DS and helping me breastfeeding.

Talking to DH about this just yesterday, wondering if it was just me.

Clearly not.

Shit first time. Whole labour was ignored, left alone, denied pain relief, not monitored, dangerous low heartbeat for ds1 born blue and needed resuscitation.

After care shit. No breastfeeding help. No pain relief. Laughed at. Shit food. Struggling to lift ds1. Tonnes of pain, no help.

Dc2 couldn't get out there fast enough.

Dc3 home birth. Was lovely being at home.

so no, YANBU.

Congrats though

YANBU. When I had DD2 my Mum visited me and said "The atmosphere is awful here! So miserable and serious!" she remembered the cheerful ward she'd had us on...

There was a woman on my ward who for some unfathomable reason thought it acceptable to turn all the lights off in the day so she "could nap"

It was her frigging ward but none of us said anything as she was so bossy. I was very happy when the nurse came bustling in and said "Why are all the lights off!?" and put them back on.

Like Gluteus shit food (shouted at me -literally - when I asked if I could have a bit more than half a sandwich and a kit Kat after 24 hours in labour, no food); midwife shouted at me when I didn't manage to keep the tiny paper mattress protector under me while trying to sleep so bed slightly soiled; no help with feeding, washing or caring for first new born; just contempt really; meanwhile there were a number of them at desk chatting and laughing for hours - so not pressed for time; gave me a bath with bits literally floating in it from previous occupant - I got horrendous d&v, gave it to dh so both of us couldn't look after newborn baby. Had to clean bathroom when went to loo as it was filthy. Second time couldn't get out of there fast enough. While I certainly don't expect five star treatment, just general caring and support would have been nice. Shouting at new mothers is unacceptable. Could have understood if they were rushed off their feet but they clearly weren't as they had so much time to chat and laugh together. I wonder how much of this contributes to PND as someone suggested upthread. Tbh kind people with no training could have given better post natal care. And in case people suggest they were more interested in my physical welfare, how could they have been as they only checked on me once all night and didn't answer the call bell.

I must say I seem to have been really lucky. DS is 12 and DD 9 so things may have changed at my local hospital but my post natal experiences were not horrendous. They weren't marvellous but not horrendous.
With DS I had am emcs and was kept on recovery far longer than needed purely so my mum wouldn't have to go home! (largely due to them ballsing stuff up while I was being induced). Once on PN ward I was put in a 4 bay room which soon filled up. it was noisy and hot but my care was good. My catheter was removed early on and I was up and about quickly. DS screamed a LOT so I spent large amounts of time walking the ward with him as he was only quiet when feeding or moving. Food wasn't brilliant but was edible and I had snacks a plenty in my bag. My only gripe that tiem round was the poor lady opposite being gently scolded for being reluctant to do the care for her baby and the rough ness of the midwife I asked for help with latching DS on overnight.

With DD things were not so good. Again I had a c section but it was in the middle of the day rather than overnight and so recovery was much much busier. I was left alone for hours because there was a lady in whose family were beign pains in arses insisting on all coming into recovery despite the MW saying no. They kind of barged in and short of calling security there was nothing she could do. I said she shouldc all security but she wimped out. My mum was with me and she had to go home so DH could come in. When she left I had just been told I would be able to sit up in a minute and they'd get me a sandwich. It took her 40 mins to get home and DH another 40 mins to get back plus he was told I'd be up on the ward by then so spent about 30 mins up there while they tried to find me. I was still lying down and had had no food.......
Once up on the ward I was in a 4 bay room where the HCA seemed to think the curtains were soundproof as she told the Polish girl in the next bed how marvellous she was and how dreadful English mums were.
The ward was stupidly hot and I couldn't get DD out of her cot myself as my catheter was left in for ages and I couldn't reach her and was forbidden tog et out of bed. She was also a screamy babay who cried everytime she was deprived of human contact! The female MWs were ace, they'd give her to me, come back when I'd fed her and she was quiet, swaddle her tightly and put her back in the cot. She'd then be quuiet for abotu 40 mins. The male MW not so hot. He'd just dump her back in her cot and wander off even if I asked for her to be swaddled so she'd cry after about 3 mins! When it became clear he was goignt o be coming to me all the time I took her and made us a nest in the bed with the fish tank one side and a million pillows the other and just held her.
Once my catheter was out it was fine. MW station was happy to watch the babies so you could go to the loo. The ward was mainly clean, food was OK.
My main issue was a) the damn noise and b) the heat. Plus I wanted to go home to DS.
Things could have been better. It could have been quieter but all my hospital experiences (all 3 of them) have been noisy. The ward I was on at 16 for having my appendix out was damnably noisy too.
I'm 50 now so not likely to have another DC but it saddens me how awful some experiences have been.

I've posted about this before but I found the postnatal wards 1000 times worse than labour. I had a difficult time- EMCS, uterine tear, pph (dropped my haemoglobin by 50%) complicated by a bad infection and a night in ITU. Came to ward the next day. Had paracetamol given to me and nothing stronger despite asking numerous times. I couldn't get into bed from the chair and nobody would help so I sat bolt upright all night with DD as I was unable to move her back to her cot or get into bed myself. Managed to stand the next morning and had a massive bleed on the floor- the husband of the patient beside me grabbed DD and helped me into bed. DH cleaned the floor when he arrived. I got no antibiotics for 2 days despite begging for them and ended up in hospital for 10 days due to a bad infection. DH stayed after that first hellish night as it was clear nobody else would help me.

I'm a medic myself. And despite being far better able to advocate for myself than most patients my care was abysmal. If I treated a patient the way I was treated I would certainly be facing disciplinary proceedings (rightly so!).

I really think postnatal wards should be staffed by surgical nurses. The majority of women staying on a postnatal ward have had operative or instrumental deliveries, and need good nursing care. And analgesia.

Late to the thread but wanted to RTFT before posting.

Some of these stories are truly appalling At a time when women are often alone, frightened, in pain and vulnerable, getting the basics so wrong is inhumane. for those who have suffered.

I've been lucky. With DC1 I had a failed induction followed by emergency section. The surgery was a little complicated but both DC1 and I were fine. I have no complaints about the antenatal care or care during labour. Postnatally, DC1 was found to have jaundice just before discharge and so we stayed for a further few days for phototherapy. DH stayed too. We were fortunate enough to get a side room (chargeable) and so could manage most basic care with some dignity.

Like so many others, I found the ward hot, understaffed and with poor food. The lack of adequate analgesia following what is major abdominal surgery was shocking. I had to almost beg at one point for something more than paracetamol. Getting laxatives when I couldn't open my bowels was even more of a joke. A relative bought me in some senna in the end as I was so uncomfortable and had not had anything prescribed despite asking for days.

DC2 was same hospital but elective section. More straightforward delivery, and discharged at 24 hours. My only issue that time was that they hadn't issued the diclofenac for discharge as I am allergic to their standard painkiller. Apparently they thought I should just have paracetamol . I was so keen to get home I left without it in the end and used some I had left from DC1's birth (all in date!).

DH and I are both medics. We chose to have maternity care in a hospital where neither of us works and although it was in my notes, we never made it an issue with staff.

Reading LDR's story linked above has had me in tears - As a medic I cannot understand how anyone working within the healthcare sphere can be so discriminatory or judgemental. I hope you've managed to move past those awful experiences and that yoir daughter continues to go from strength to strength.

Thanks, NotYet. Things are going much better now, though we're still coming to terms with it (especially DP who is the one who did the hard work, of course).

Eye-opening that you had that experience with pain relief despite being a medic. I had wondered how that would be.

I do think there is a lack of continuity about after-care. We found out a couple of days ago that DP wasn't prescribed iron and should have been - they'd not taken her bloods after the section (or not recorded it), and they'd been telling us she was only borderline anemeic based on a reading from before the section.

LRD I hate telling people I'm a doctor when I'm admitted as I'd hate to get special attention (that may be needed more elsewhere as it's so short staffed). I find it embarrassing to have to point it out when necessary.

That said, it is quite sad that even knowing the fact does nothing to help, as described by pps (in more awful circumstances than mine).

I have no qualms telling people I'm medical if a family member is admitted though! I want to know exactly what's going on. Like the pp said, I'm more able to advocate for myself and question / argue if things are not right than most.

Aftercare is very poor. For DC2 the hospital forgot to tell the community team that I was being discharged, so I had an interesting phone call with the health visitors followed by a panicked visit when they realised he needed weighing! Luckily as a second time mum I wasn't too phased by it all. I dread to think how a first time mum would have felt.

You and your DP should hopefully be able to discuss the issues in your case with the team - DC1 was an unexpected CS and I was offered a postnatal review to discuss the circumstances around it. In my case it helped clarify issues for future pregnancies, in yours (if available), it may allow some closure and a chance to highlight what went wrong.

My experience with DS1 wasn't great (2008). I was in a room of four beds, don't remember excessive mobile phone users but the first night the woman on next bed snored loudly and just slept through her newborn's hysterical crying. The midwife eventually came in to wake her up and ask her to feed her child. I was there only two nights, despite recovering from emermergency c-section and being completely dazed out.

On the day of my discharge, a new family including a grandmother arrived in our ward, they had the bed next to me and as soon as soon as they walked in, the grandmother drew in disgust my curtain over my bed - I assume it was because I was breastfeeding right that minute. That still makes my blood boil.

DS2 was entirely different experience. I lucked out and was sent to a brand new hospital that has only private rooms. I think it was a first of it's kind for NHS. It was clean, new and gloriously quiet. I ended up having an emergency c-section again but because I had my own room and was able to sleep, I recovered a lot quicker and better. They kept me for four nights and I was sad to be sent home as I had enjoyed the private cocoon with my DS2.

NotYet I also would never want to make a fuss about being a medic- in fact I think we are generally a non-demanding patient group as we know exactly how busy things are. I was very upset at having to make a fuss about such basic things as treatment for sepsis/pain relief after surgery (don't like to pull the doctor card either!). I still haven't worked up to having DC2 yet; partly because I'm not sure I could face a similar situation again.

We would never perform abdominal surgery on a patient in another ward and expect them to not only be self caring but be capable of caring for a newborn within a few hours.

That's really useful to know, NotYet, thanks.

And yes, you absolutely shouldn't have to feel you have to disclose that you're a doctor!

Rinceoir I'm sorry you had such an awful experience. I agree with everything you've said. It is truly shocking that postnatal care has deteriorated to this extent.

Don't let it put you off DC2 though - the experience last time will help you be more assertive. Even if that means using the doctor card! And you never know, next time might be much better. Or in a different hospital

That's it isn't it.. rubbish recovery on these wards PLUS a newborn to look after, care should be better than the norm rather than worse.

Yes to surgical nurses on postnatal wards! I had relatively minor abdominal keyhole surgery a few years prior to my first baby and the night afterwards I got the works - morphine drip, amazingly caring and responsive nurses - two of them helped me get to the loo the first time I got up (which I did need as I then collapsed, but that's another story!). The contrast to the absolute total lack of care I received after significantly more major abdominal surgery, with a newborn to care for, hormones swirling and sepsis brewing is...well, it actually leaves me properly speechless. How do hospitals get away with this?

Isn't it fascinating, that women who have given birth and undergone abdominal/perineal surgery are expected to carry on as if nothing happened, whereas those who have had similar surgeries but not given birth get proper care and get meals delivered to their bed, etc?

Where on earth did this culture come from?

Roly it's a parallel universe. I found myself on a 'transition' ward with my ds who had spent a few days in SCBU and needed to put on some weight before coming home. I was discharged from post natal care to that ward. I wasn't allowed to leave the ward. The ward was staffed with nursery nurses. Paediatric doctors saw my baby.
As a result I was not given any medical care because I had been discharged. I had had a section but I could not be given even paracetamol because I wasn't a patient. I couldn't visit my own GP or see my community midwife. I was fed but it was basic and not enough. I was entirely reliant on visitors to bring pain relief and sufficient food.
I was threatened with Social Services if I left with or without my baby.
I still find it astonishing that I was essentially detained in a ward of a hospital without medical care and against my will and nobody even questioned it.

Mine was horrendous with dd1. There were five other beds and i was in for about 3-4 days due to problems. Babies crying/constant noise and i was going mad from lack of sleep. Changed hospitals next time which was better as i was only with one mum.

Why do they tell you off for taking your baby out of the cot? I was snapped at in QEH in King's Lynn for this in 2006 and at St Mary's in Manchester in 2014 had the same- I walked away from the midwife telling me off half way though her lecture and she followed me back through the ward to my bed continuing to tell me off at volume.

Funny that she had time for that but not do any of the myriad things that apparently needed doing before we could be discharged. We'd been admitted post home birth as there were concerns about ds3's temperature and although all concerns had evaporated within 4 hours of us being there (because as soon as I got him to latch and have a feed his temperature and everything else became perfect and stayed perfect) we got forced to stay overnight, and they were threatening to keep us another 24 hours after that. For what reason I do not know. I have never been spoken to with such contempt as on post natal wards.

Touch I've never been told off for taking MY baby out of the cot! How dare they!?