To Think My Obesity Isn't a Public Issue?

[Hesdeadjim]

I'm obese.

I've dropped 30lbs since new years day and it's all going swimmingly. I'm no longer morbidly obese (huzzah!) but I'm still "normal" obese.

Anyway!

Today I was dishing out my lunch and a colleague decided to critique it for me and tell me all the places I'm going wrong with my diet, which, in her opinion, is why I'm "the size I am" This is a pretty common thing to happen in our work place, I work with a few people with no filter.

1. You shouldnt have dressing on your salad (it was full fat ceasar)
2. Don't add cheese (full fat parmasan)
3. Avocados are bad because they are high calorie (there was half an avocado)
4. You need more protein so you dont snack later (there was 200g chicken breast on there)
5. You only need to eat breakfast OR lunch, not both (I had a coffee with double cream in it for breakfast).

So I explained that I'm on a high fat, low carb way of eating and doing well on it so far, to which she wrinkled her nose and said it's a fad diet and will never work. I should eat low carb AND low fat to lose weight. I did my usual "aah thanks for the advice, I'll bear that in mind" conversation dodge and retreated to clean up my lunch prep.

This then sparked another colleague to chip in and start a whole discussion about obesity related disease and how people are fat through choice. He thought I couldn't hear because I was around the corner behind the fridge door so it wasn't meant to hurt me or anything. The conversation progressed to chatting about how they'd seen documentaries where people were eating doughnuts and takeaways then wondering why they were fat. It wasn't a nice conversation. I slammed the fridge door loudly as i left but I don't think it registered.

AIBU to be fed up about being a bloody conversation starter? My weight is my problem and I completely, whole heartedly accept responsibility for it but I don't think it pre-qualifies me for a life of feeling shit about myself because other people make assumptions about my lifestyle??

I've had comments at the gym before which have stopped me going and even out for walks with my dogs I overheard a couple saying "poor dogs clearly never get walked"... fyi my dogs are walked 4 miles a day everyday and we do a 12 mile walk most weekends

I feel properly rubbish now and as if no matter how much weight I lose I'm always going to feel the need to apologize for myself I'm sick of people making assumptions about my health because of my weight and tired of feeling the need to explain the food I eat to everyone. THere was a guy sat at a table in the lunch area munching down on a massive chunk of birthday cake while the conversation was happening today and no one batted an eye.

Sorry, needed to get that out. Feeling properly crap.

Or not concentrating properly and putting "smoking" twice

Travelledtheworld that's another thing I can't stand (sorry!)

When people hear yo've done well and then immediately suggest you do something different because it works for them

I've done slimming world before. I lost and gained the same 10lbs 4 times and HAD to be hungry in order to see a loss on the scales.

No hunger way of eating my flabby arse.

What annoys me is that because people can see my weight loss they feel the need to comment. I have moved myself into the overweight category from my efforts via following weight watchers. So far I have lost 10lbs and the results are showing. For some reason people think they can comment. I have made no mention of me following weight watchers to these people. My weight is personal. I think so much less of them.

If I were you I would be looking to find a job with nicer colleagues. In the meantime you are doing so well and I would be using the MN special too on them.

Hesdead, I think you are an inspiration! Your comments on the bootcamp threads and your ones here show what an amazing person you are. I have been overweight/obese my entire life and the only diet that I wholeheartedly believe in is lchf. I am at the beginning of following it completely and people like you make me so hopeful. For every muppet like the one at your work there is someone like me totally in awe of you and being motivated by you without you even knowing it. Feel proud of yourself. My mantra for a while has been, 'don't get frustrated, be fascinated'. In other words, wonder at the audacity of some people and also how they have managed to survive as long as they have, without someone bopping them on the nose.

a) tell em to fuck off , when they pay for your food they can decide what you eat and

b) High protein /low carb can be done sensibly and is not at all faddy, especially when heart patients are put on it and

c) it works, it works for me, again, tell them to fuck off

On Slimming world: it probably didn't help that I point blank refuse to eat low fat yogurts. Vile things and the work of the devil. Unlimited carbs were an issue too.

I lost on weight watchers where carbs and fat and sugar etc is limited but again I never got on top of cravings (my main issue) and I could manipulate the points so much I'd have a takeaway and convince myself it was all withing my weekly budget

That's not the fault of the plan, but there was too much room for manipulation for me and when my cravings were bad I could convince myself of anything if it meant I could eat.

I haven't craved anything since the 2nd week of LCHF.

Tell them to go and sling their hooks!

Really well done on the weight loss. Loose clothes feel amazing!

Brutally, I would have given baleful stares and asked what the hell it had to do with her, but then I've decided to stop pandering to social etiquette in my old age.

Hesdeadjim excellent name btw
Thanks lovely, stick with what works for you and I have no doubt you'll reach your goal :)
People project all their weight and food issues on to others when they make these comments. They make endless assumptions about how we got so big, how we felt about it, how we are losing weight and how we feel about our bodies now. I had someone tell me recently how much more attractive I felt now to which I replied I've had no issues getting paid by my DH regardless of my weight in the last couple of decades. Talk about pushing your anxiety on to me!
For what it's worth I ditched slimming world years ago for the same reason. I just lost and gained the same few pounds whatever I did. It worked great for a friend but for me it's high protein and plenty of water. We are all different. If there was one diet that actually worked for everyone no one would be overweight would they?

Anyway keep going and screw them :)

People were so rude to you. It is none of their business.
The way you are eating which has already lost you that impressive 30 pounds is the best way for most people to lose weight so just ignore others saying otherwise.

Getting laid. To be clear my husband doesn't pay me for sex.

It must be so awful to be on the receiving end of this. I ordered five medium fries in McDonalds once to take away for others and some girl working there said to her work mates 'who's so fat they'd eat five medium fries!' thinking I couldn't hear her. Obviously they weren't all for me and one person isn't going to eat all that - what do they think take away is actually for ffs - but it made me realize what unkind judgements about weight some people must have to contend with on a regular basis

Amazing weight loss - you should be proud.

Guy at the gym I go to has started LCHF and swears by it. Weight dropping off and he's not hungry.

They are insensitive idiots - I think you should respond with 'I think it's best if we don't offer unasked for advice about each others lives - don't you?'. Smile.

If that doesn't work then you really do need to be blunt and tell them that you don't want to talk about it with them. A lot of HR departments deal with stopping people making personal comments..if you have a decent one you might want to mention this to them.

They are rude, condescending and very patronising. Please don't let the bds get you down, it sounds like you are doing exceptionally well on your own. I could do with dropping a stone but would be well hacked off with anyone who made a comment. It sounds like part of our bullying culture that can exist in some minds and workplaces. Good for you OP!

Alternatively you could copy articles about LCHF diets and post it around the kitchen area. Have copies on your desk.

The minute someone comments about anything launch into a detailed, long, and enthusiastic lecture on the benefits of LCHF. Offer to help them with their diet as fat in the arteries is more a of a concern than fat on the thighs long term. Go on, and on, about the dangers of added sugar in low fat foods.

Be evangelical about it!

They'll soon back off...

Jim i didnt eat the yoghurts either. And i cant eat pasta often because i gain.

I had to tweak SW a bit to suit me.

I hate it when people criticise like this. You've done really well to lose 30lbs so your colleagues need to shut up as they clearly can't see that your diet is working.
I've had similar but from the opposite side as I'm v slim. I eat loads but if I'm having a salad I get comments like "oh, do you think honk perhaps you have some issues arising food" or "no wonder you're so skinny" then I feel I have to qualify what I'm eating nor explain I had a massive breakfast, cake and coffee mid morning and am having a big dinner when I shouldnt have to!

Everyone seems obsessed with what others eat

Honk-that

Arising-around

Bloody autocorrect

just wanted to say a they were rude and b they were were wrong saying you should be low carb and low fat is a impossible the only food group your left with is protein and the five things they said were contestable

Honestly people are fucking morons when it comes to health.
"I have chronic pain"
"Ohh have you tried yoga/vitamins/herbal tea?"
And weight is the most misguided and myth surrounded topic in there.

Unless they've lost a lot of weight they literally have no clue.
You're doing fantastically and I'm so happy you've found what works for you that's a really hard part.

Honestly they're not going to stop, just tell them to get lost and fuck right off.

When you do lose the weight it'll be
"Ohh you're looking sooo much better"
Thanks. Like I didn't look nice before, that's lovely.
"Ohh don't eat that you'll gain it all back. I know someone who lost (your exact weight loss) and they gained it all and 100 pounds more!!!!"
Get lost.
"Ohhh you can have a bit of cake now you're not dieting any more ( I despise that word. Its a lifestyle change if you want it to work) go on!"

And I swear all that could even come from the same person.

Keep doing what you're doing and refuse to engage.

You're doing amazingly Hesdead. People are idiots.

If you are overweight you are fair game to be lectured by anyone and everyone on how unhealthy you are. Fecking twats funny they're only concerned about your health but in my experience they never berate people who sit in blazing hot sunshine by a pool for a fortnight. Not healthy either but no fucker ever comments on that

Hesdead I've ventured from the BC thread to say you are awesome and what dicks they are. Ignore them and come and post more pictures of your gorgeous dogs.

When you're overweight people comment.
When you're a normal weight people comment.

You can't win.

It's as if you're public property. I don't know what people actually want to see in a person that they won't comment?