To Think My Obesity Isn't a Public Issue?

[Hesdeadjim]

I'm obese.

I've dropped 30lbs since new years day and it's all going swimmingly. I'm no longer morbidly obese (huzzah!) but I'm still "normal" obese.

Anyway!

Today I was dishing out my lunch and a colleague decided to critique it for me and tell me all the places I'm going wrong with my diet, which, in her opinion, is why I'm "the size I am" This is a pretty common thing to happen in our work place, I work with a few people with no filter.

1. You shouldnt have dressing on your salad (it was full fat ceasar)
2. Don't add cheese (full fat parmasan)
3. Avocados are bad because they are high calorie (there was half an avocado)
4. You need more protein so you dont snack later (there was 200g chicken breast on there)
5. You only need to eat breakfast OR lunch, not both (I had a coffee with double cream in it for breakfast).

So I explained that I'm on a high fat, low carb way of eating and doing well on it so far, to which she wrinkled her nose and said it's a fad diet and will never work. I should eat low carb AND low fat to lose weight. I did my usual "aah thanks for the advice, I'll bear that in mind" conversation dodge and retreated to clean up my lunch prep.

This then sparked another colleague to chip in and start a whole discussion about obesity related disease and how people are fat through choice. He thought I couldn't hear because I was around the corner behind the fridge door so it wasn't meant to hurt me or anything. The conversation progressed to chatting about how they'd seen documentaries where people were eating doughnuts and takeaways then wondering why they were fat. It wasn't a nice conversation. I slammed the fridge door loudly as i left but I don't think it registered.

AIBU to be fed up about being a bloody conversation starter? My weight is my problem and I completely, whole heartedly accept responsibility for it but I don't think it pre-qualifies me for a life of feeling shit about myself because other people make assumptions about my lifestyle??

I've had comments at the gym before which have stopped me going and even out for walks with my dogs I overheard a couple saying "poor dogs clearly never get walked"... fyi my dogs are walked 4 miles a day everyday and we do a 12 mile walk most weekends

I feel properly rubbish now and as if no matter how much weight I lose I'm always going to feel the need to apologize for myself I'm sick of people making assumptions about my health because of my weight and tired of feeling the need to explain the food I eat to everyone. THere was a guy sat at a table in the lunch area munching down on a massive chunk of birthday cake while the conversation was happening today and no one batted an eye.

Sorry, needed to get that out. Feeling properly crap.

Keep at it OP, you're doing great.

I am abroad with my gran and aunt. Despite the fact that my aunt does everything for my gran, including sorting out a bloody guided tour of the Italian coast for six, my gran laid into her about her weight this morning as she was making a sarnie - "I didn't bring this butter to the table for you, you know." My aunt very firmly told her mum that she didn't appreciate anyone policing her eating. Shut her right up. I couldn't have been prouder.

You can and will lose weight and therefore are able to change. They're just stupid. No change there. Well done.!!

Maybe they are a little envious of your weight loss. It can bring out the competitive sprit and green-eyed monster in a lot of people, even in those who only have a stone to lose. Other people's success brings their own weight issues into sharp focus.

I think you did brilliantly with your comments (and not throwing the avocado in their stupid face). You know what you're doing and you have better manners than them - win/win.

I was talking to someone at the weekend who told me, "I can't do low-carbing, it makes me ill, I need sugar." I said something about that being interesting, I was happy she'd found something to work for her. I'm quite proud of that as I started BIWI's bootcamp four years ago and still follow a LCHF way of eating and I have a qualification in nutrition - but, she didn't ask me for advice so I didn't give her any.

If you want to put some resistance into your workouts, could you have a look at Jessica Smith on YouTube? She does resistance workouts for people with little space/equipment/time.

Fat shaming is a ghastly trend.

Ignore these types and remember that thin isn't always healthy.

I have a friend who is a size eight but she lives on chocolate digestives.

Now that really is a health time bomb, but I keep my mouth shut and just love her for all the good things she does.

I do watch what healthy weight people eat and sometimes wonder how much time they spend excising to be able to do it.

Oh me too! But tbf all my favourite activities - reading, writing, drawing, watching films, going to the theatre - don't burn off any calories.

There's sex I suppose but ideally I'd like to be tied up so that doesn't help...

Well done and keep doing what works for you, don't let these sods put you off.

Duke big grin!

I don't think this WAS fat shaming really, just a complete lack of understanding that they might be saying something hurtful.

I genuinely think big mouth colleague thought she was helping me and didn't mean to offend. Same with the resulting conversation, they thought I was out of ear shot.

I think that makes it worse in a way because their prejudice is so ingrained that they don't even realise it's there :(

I'm sorry your colleagues are a bunch of cunts.

I also follow a LCHF diet and love it, just had a delicious venison in red wine casserole with cauliflower cheese.

You can think smugly to yourself how much healthier you'll be than your sugar guzzling colleagues. I work with several younger people who are skinny as anything but eat virtually nothing but junk, doesn't mean they are healthy!! They'll be part of the skinny fat group, not healthy at all.

IME there's a hard core of uneducated folks out there for whom the only "diet" they recognise is a single fat free yoghurt for lunch or a meal replacement shake / bar. Anything else isn't "being on a diet". They have no idea about balancing nutrients, the importance and impact of exercise or portion control.

It sounds bad enough in your situation OP, but try being a slim person who wants to drop fat - note I say fat, not weight- in order to get more definition and watch their heads spin on an axis! Then you get the "why do you want to do that?"; "you're already too thin"; "you'll look like a man" and the rest. Women's bodies are public property I'm afraid. As they say in the movie - smile and wave, smile and wave.

OP Tell your colleugues to keep their beaks out.

I got similar when first doing Slimming World "How can you eat that and still lose weight" I went on to lose ten stone.

You are doing brilliantly OP. And PPs are right that slim doesnt neccasarily mean healthy. A size 8 ex colleugue is waiting for a heart op. Shes only just turned 40 but has lived on takeaways chocolate and chain smoked. Visceral fat apparently according to her consultant.

I think this is one of those occasions where the good old mumsnet standby phrase "did you mean to be so rude?" comes into its own.

You are doing brilliantly, OP. Your workmates are doing less well, as they are being dicks.

Congratulations on the loss Jim, very well done.

LCHF definitely works, it's just the opposite way of eating to what we're currently being told to eat by Mr. Kellogg and co.

You don't need shite carbs in your life, good carbs are in veg, you don't need white bread and pasta.

KOKO.

That must have been awful.
I don't know if it was fat shaming either.
Some people just cannot shut up about food, theirs or other people's.

Its weird and annoying.

If you walk into an average office with a bag of chips or a donught, whatever your weight, its akin to strolling in with a five headed baby.

EVERYONE has to comment on it. Bloody odd.

Well done with your weight loss. That is an amazing achievement.

Even if you hadnt lost weight they'd still be rude twats.

Jim there was a programme on BBC2 last night "Obesity Is there prejudice in the NHS"

Was very interesting.

Congrats on your weight loss OP

YAMBU, just smile and nod, then carry on regardless. They were completely rude and that is their problem.

fatboy420 has made a trolly comment everyone, did you all see how terribly clever and off the cuff that was??

Super duper well done fatboy420 gold for you!

(NB: let's not feed the troll, folks. ignore ignore ignore)

Wow HQ are on it today with the big red delete button

I think LCHF brings it out in people because it's totally backwards.

Whenever I get my pot of cream out in the morning for my coffee I usually get a comment or two. Mostly "ooooh I wish I could treat myself like that!" or "That's an epic idea, I couldn't do that I'd be the size of a house!".. again not really try-hard cruelty but definitely insensitive.

People are so thoughtless.
Well done on the 30llbs, but have not heard of a high fat diet.

Why not come along with hundreds of thousands of us and go to Slimmng World for some additional support ?

YANBU. Your body is not up for discussion by strangers! Most of us have one or more unhealthy habits, whether it's drinking a bit too much, not getting enough sleep, not enough exercise, smoking, forgetting to floss your teeth, being over-stressed, smoking, having too much chocolate. It's really unfair that overweight people get so much verbal abuse compared to others who aren't perfect either (all of us).